For all you dads out there - Corny Groan Dad jokes
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because the "p" is silent
"What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y."
'Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.'"
"A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, 'Sorry we don't serve food here.'"
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'"
Me: 'Dad, make me a sandwich!' Dad: 'Poof, You’re a sandwich!'”
"How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!"
"Whenever we drive past a graveyard my dad says, 'Do you know why I can’t be buried there?' And we all say, 'Why not?' And he says, 'Because I’m not dead yet!'”
"Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted."
"I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off."
"How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it."
"Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks."
"A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, 'First offender?' She says, 'No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!'"
How do you spell "Pool" - "O-O-L" you won't find any "P" in my pool
"I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!"
"5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions."
"A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.'"
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