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DFW

(54,056 posts)
Sat Jul 25, 2020, 03:59 PM Jul 2020

Was it really 46 years ago?

Last edited Sat Jul 25, 2020, 11:19 PM - Edit history (1)

This day, in a cabaret in West Berlin, I was introduced to "my friend from the Northwest (of Germany)."

She took my breath away, and I figured, a nerd like me would never have a chance with a girl like that. Fortunately, it dawned upon me just in time that if I kept that kind of attitude, I never WOULD have a chance with a girl like that.

It turns out, I had a chance after all. We are still together, now grandparents.

Lucky her? Can't say. Lucky me? OH yeah .

Then:


A little wedding day when we finally had the time:


In between:



A little later on in between in Washington:



And pretty close to now:


And when we no longer can carry on, our daughters will:


When we met at age 22, we thought age 46 was ANCIENT. Now that we are 68, and we've been together for 46 years, we just think--wasn't that just yesterday?

55 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Was it really 46 years ago? (Original Post) DFW Jul 2020 OP
Lucky ALL of you!!! elleng Jul 2020 #1
What a beautiful family!!! Alliepoo Jul 2020 #2
It wasn't all as idyllic as the photos might indicate DFW Jul 2020 #41
Congratulations!! Freedomofspeech Jul 2020 #3
There were plenty of obstacles in the road from there to here DFW Jul 2020 #42
There is a lid for every pot. safeinOhio Jul 2020 #4
The perfect fit DFW Jul 2020 #20
What a family. You definitely hit the jackpot. brush Jul 2020 #5
Whatever else may befall me/us DFW Jul 2020 #21
Super sweet Kitchari Jul 2020 #6
Brought tears to my eyes lillypaddle Jul 2020 #7
We tried our best! DFW Jul 2020 #22
OMG, DFW! What a great story! BComplex Jul 2020 #8
Difficult to top, that's for sure! n/t DFW Jul 2020 #23
Congratulations! nt tblue37 Jul 2020 #9
I never found the love of my life. Dem2theMax Jul 2020 #10
Thanks for that! DFW Jul 2020 #24
That train is going to have to hurry up! Dem2theMax Jul 2020 #28
And I'm betting it's not "She Was Just Seventeen" DFW Jul 2020 #31
That got a good laugh out of me! Dem2theMax Jul 2020 #33
I am so jealous of your good luck and so thankful for your comments from over there. erronis Jul 2020 #11
We have matured DFW Jul 2020 #36
What a lovely family, DFW Mr. Ected Jul 2020 #12
Oh, I got the joke! It makes way TOO much sense. DFW Jul 2020 #25
Thanks...so refreshing to see happiness!❤ Karadeniz Jul 2020 #13
Lovely, congratulations on 46 years. SaveOurDemocracy Jul 2020 #14
It is a heavy burden to bear DFW Jul 2020 #26
Aww, you have a beautiful family and I love your love story meeting. nt iluvtennis Jul 2020 #15
100% pure whim of chance DFW Jul 2020 #27
American who spoke German - love it. I'm American who married an Italian and iluvtennis Jul 2020 #38
Minor detail DFW Jul 2020 #39
I am so happy for all of you. Thank you for sharing. Hekate Jul 2020 #16
That is especially kind of you Hekate, thanks! DFW Jul 2020 #55
Congrats! panader0 Jul 2020 #17
Gracias! DFW Jul 2020 #32
That's a ray of light during these sober, gray days. Totally Tunsie Jul 2020 #18
Thanks! DFW Jul 2020 #30
Happy anniversary Marthe48 Jul 2020 #19
We paid our dues to be here, believe me DFW Jul 2020 #29
So glad you were both lucky, Marthe48 Jul 2020 #46
Beautiful family! Congratulations! LeftInTX Jul 2020 #34
Congrats!! Beautiful. Just lovely. n/t 7wo7rees Jul 2020 #35
Thanks! DFW Jul 2020 #37
Happy 46th anniversary! Niagara Jul 2020 #40
Thanks! DFW Jul 2020 #43
Exceptionally Beautiful, & Wonderful Too..Thank You for posting... Stuart G Jul 2020 #44
Thanks! They did all the work. I'm just along for the ride n/t DFW Jul 2020 #45
Ah, my dear DFW... CaliforniaPeggy Jul 2020 #47
The chances were minimal at best DFW Jul 2020 #49
Happy Anniversary, DFW! smirkymonkey Jul 2020 #48
The second one was born on June 17th. DFW Jul 2020 #50
Congratulations! Phentex Jul 2020 #51
Thanks! We take what fate grants us, and enjoy it while we can. n/t DFW Jul 2020 #52
You're living the dream FakeNoose Jul 2020 #53
It's not all milk and honey DFW Jul 2020 #54

DFW

(54,056 posts)
41. It wasn't all as idyllic as the photos might indicate
Sun Jul 26, 2020, 08:05 AM
Jul 2020

But, yes, we've had the good fortune to have ourselves, and that counts for a lot.

DFW

(54,056 posts)
42. There were plenty of obstacles in the road from there to here
Sun Jul 26, 2020, 08:11 AM
Jul 2020

We never asked for a free ride, and never got one.

As for my wife, she is one one those cases that elicit the question, "what is a woman like HER doing with a jerk like HIM?" I'm used to it by now, and, to tell you the truth, I STILL don't know the answer!

BComplex

(7,984 posts)
8. OMG, DFW! What a great story!
Sat Jul 25, 2020, 04:41 PM
Jul 2020
I'm so glad for you!

I am in a really happy marriage, too. There's nothing better imho.

Dem2theMax

(9,595 posts)
10. I never found the love of my life.
Sat Jul 25, 2020, 05:51 PM
Jul 2020

But you have no idea of how happy it makes me when I read about people who did.

Happy anniversary! The anniversary of the first day of the rest of your lives! And may the coming years be as filled with love as the past years have been.

DFW

(54,056 posts)
24. Thanks for that!
Sat Jul 25, 2020, 10:48 PM
Jul 2020

And never say it's too late. Miracles always pop up when you think the last train has already left the station.

Dem2theMax

(9,595 posts)
28. That train is going to have to hurry up!
Sat Jul 25, 2020, 11:10 PM
Jul 2020

I'm turning the age of a specific Beatles song in less than two weeks.

DFW

(54,056 posts)
31. And I'm betting it's not "She Was Just Seventeen"
Sat Jul 25, 2020, 11:16 PM
Jul 2020

I know, I know, that's not the real title of the song.

Still, one of her girlfriends in Germany found improbable happiness at age 71.
So, it's NOT impossible.

Dem2theMax

(9,595 posts)
33. That got a good laugh out of me!
Sat Jul 25, 2020, 11:28 PM
Jul 2020

And thanks for the encouraging news. 71?
Yep, that's very encouraging!


erronis

(14,955 posts)
11. I am so jealous of your good luck and so thankful for your comments from over there.
Sat Jul 25, 2020, 05:54 PM
Jul 2020

I looked pretty much scraggly like you back in '68 when I met my first. Love and lust are good things while they last.

Now love is the main component, along with trust and experience. Maturing isn't all that bad!

Mr. Ected

(9,670 posts)
12. What a lovely family, DFW
Sat Jul 25, 2020, 05:57 PM
Jul 2020

And what a wonderful journey.

I wish for you another 46, as long as you don't wish another 45 upon us (that's a little joke that I hope makes sense!)

DFW

(54,056 posts)
25. Oh, I got the joke! It makes way TOO much sense.
Sat Jul 25, 2020, 10:49 PM
Jul 2020

As for 45, this was one of my little comments on that:

DFW

(54,056 posts)
26. It is a heavy burden to bear
Sat Jul 25, 2020, 10:51 PM
Jul 2020

But someone has to do it, and no one else volunteered at the time. So, what else was I to do?

DFW

(54,056 posts)
27. 100% pure whim of chance
Sat Jul 25, 2020, 10:55 PM
Jul 2020

Right place, right time, right language taken in college (she spoke little English at the time).

Funny thing--I was exotic as all hell to her (an American who spoke German, imagine that!), and America was like the dark side of the moon: far away, and highly unlikely (so she thought) that she would ever see it.

iluvtennis

(19,758 posts)
38. American who spoke German - love it. I'm American who married an Italian and
Sun Jul 26, 2020, 12:59 AM
Jul 2020

thru 11 years of marriage I never learned more than single words and phrases...could never construct sentences.

My Italy born husband speaks 5 languages- Italian, English, Spanish, French, and German. Our daughters speak Italian, English, and Spanish ( Spanish immersion K-6 school). Mom is the "ugly American" that speaks only English ( not from lack of trying though).

Again, congrats on 46 years of marriage!

DFW

(54,056 posts)
39. Minor detail
Sun Jul 26, 2020, 01:15 AM
Jul 2020

We MET 46 years ago. We never found the time to get married until 8 years later. In December, 1981, my brother invited me to his wedding the next April. I said I would have to see if my (then-) girlfriend could make it as well. He said, well if we were both going to be there, we should make it a double wedding. So we did.

The funniest part was the parents' table at the reception. Germans, Japanese, and my (our) American parents. No one spoke the languages of any of the others, so there was a lot of sign language going on.

I need a lot of languages for my work. So far, I can hold my own in English, Russian, German, Spanish, French, Dutch, Swedish, Catalan and Italian. Also Schwyzerdüütsch (Swiss German), which is language if you ask the Swiss, and gibberish if you ask the Germans. I can sorta fake it in Polish as long as you keep the conversation VERY basic.

DFW

(54,056 posts)
55. That is especially kind of you Hekate, thanks!
Mon Jul 27, 2020, 03:55 PM
Jul 2020

Considering what you've just been going through. I know you have had a few less pleasant things to contend with recently.

DFW

(54,056 posts)
32. Gracias!
Sat Jul 25, 2020, 11:18 PM
Jul 2020

Pure chance. There is, of course, the real date of the wedding anniversary, but in real importance, this anniversary of our meeting has just as much meaning to us.

DFW

(54,056 posts)
29. We paid our dues to be here, believe me
Sat Jul 25, 2020, 11:13 PM
Jul 2020

She has had cancer twice, and the second time, it was a form known in Germany as "the murderer," since it is never discovered until it's too late to be treated. Since she had had cancer once before, she gets tested frequently, and goes the doctor at the slightest suspicion of anything wrong. Because of that, "the murderer" was caught way before it had a chance to spread--that one case in ten thousand where it happened that way.

I have had heart issues since 2004. When I felt something was wrong in April of that year, I badgered a German cardiologist into examining me right away after his office said they had no appointments free for the next two months. I said I was not on any German insurance plan and would pay up front immediately. Oh, in THAT case, I could come in that afternoon. Good thing. Within 72 hours, I was having two stents put into my arteries, and the surgeon who put them there said I had two coronary arteries 99% blocked, and was the luckiest man in Europe that day. He said I could just have easily had a fatal heart attack on the way down to the OR. The only thing he said in English all day was "just in time."

So, yes, you can definitely say we have the joy of living, since both of us came so close to losing our lives.

Marthe48

(16,692 posts)
46. So glad you were both lucky,
Sun Jul 26, 2020, 03:39 PM
Jul 2020

We were married in 1971. In 1888, a doctor suspected my husband had throat cancer. The doctor was wrong, but we were attentive to his health from then on. My gyn suspected I had cancer in 1996, but it was all the damage from the Dalkon Shield. But again, paid attention. I think after 1988, we felt freer to live so we could be as happy as we could be. In 1916, his luck ran out. My dear heart was diagnosed with esophageal cancer, and passed away in 2017. We had watched his throat and his lungs, but this cancer near his stomach, blindsided us.
We married a year after we met, and had 45 years of marriage, almost 46.

I am always happy to hear about people who are going the distance, and loving every minute of the race

Niagara

(7,407 posts)
40. Happy 46th anniversary!
Sun Jul 26, 2020, 01:32 AM
Jul 2020

I wish you both many more happy milestones and you have a beautiful family.





CaliforniaPeggy

(149,308 posts)
47. Ah, my dear DFW...
Mon Jul 27, 2020, 01:08 AM
Jul 2020

I never tire of seeing your wonderful photos! Congrats on this amazing milestone.

You both were very lucky to have found each other! In the whole wide world, what chance exists for these two to meet and fall in love?

My best to both you and your lovely wife!

DFW

(54,056 posts)
49. The chances were minimal at best
Mon Jul 27, 2020, 10:54 AM
Jul 2020

All the more reason to jump at the opportunity!

Of course, at age 22, all we thought was, "that was nice, too bad Berlin and Philadelphia, where I was living, are so far away." But I knew right from the start that this was THE one for me, and as long as she was somewhere accessible in this solar system, I was determined NOT to let her get away. That she was OK with that is something I still haven't figured out, but who's complaining?

 

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)
48. Happy Anniversary, DFW!
Mon Jul 27, 2020, 01:50 AM
Jul 2020

What a beautiful family you have! You are very lucky and I can tell you are very proud of them all, including your grandchildren (has the 2nd one been born yet?)

DFW

(54,056 posts)
50. The second one was born on June 17th.
Mon Jul 27, 2020, 11:00 AM
Jul 2020

Her "big" sister is already a character.

On Saturday, we went out with our US-based daughter and her husband. We were lucky to get a table with a view right on the water in Provincetown. The sunset was right out of a Robert Cardinal painting.

DFW

(54,056 posts)
54. It's not all milk and honey
Mon Jul 27, 2020, 03:52 PM
Jul 2020

But it wasn't a day to reflect on the down parts--rather just to be happy we made it this far, and celebrate the good.
I lucked out in several ways, none so great as meeting her, and, best of all, keeping her.

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