This message was self-deleted by its author

[Soph0571]

This message was self-deleted by its author (Soph0571) on Mon Oct 5, 2020, 09:42 AM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[SheltieLover]

1. So saddened to hear this, {{{{SOPH!}}}}

Healing vibes on the way. Hopefully, the oncologist will be able to help!

[qazplm135]

2. deepest condolences and thoughts

fuck cancer, death is unfair, and there's never enough time.

But your SO will have you to guide through this, and what better partner to do it?

[blm]

3. ((Soph))

[empedocles]

4. Heartbraking. Try to 'carry on'.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

5. ...

[Mike Nelson]

6. Very sorry to read this...

[gademocrat7]

7. So very sorry, Soph.

We are with you. Take care.

[cilla4progress]

8. Best wishes

Holding you in my heart.

[zbird]

9. I'm so sorry Soph0571.

Sending hugs and love your way. Your DU family is here for you.

[iamateacher]

10. So sorry

[live love laugh]

11. I'm so sorry I will put you in my prayers 🙏🏽. nt

[a kennedy]

12. Soooooooo sorry for you and your SO, know my hope, positive vibes, and prayers

are all forwarded for the most perfect result, whatever that may be.

[Soph0571]

17. I'm trying very hard to be at peace with whatever might happen

But I have a plan for everything, I am an Operations Director. Right now there is no plan and any plan going forward has to be his plan. I am a control freak not it control and it is freaking me out. But he cannot be allowed to see that I am freaking out. Fucking hell.

[niyad]

122. Your DU family is here to hold you when you are freaking out. You are not alone in this.

[Soph0571]

211. 😭 thank you love n/t

[cayugafalls]

13. So sorry to hear.

Words are insufficient. Much love to you and your SO.

[regnaD kciN]

14. I'm so sorry about this...

...and sending positive thoughts that full healing might take place, even thought it might seem like it will take a miracle at this time.

Take care of yourself and your partner.

[OregonBlue]

15. So sad. Hang in there and let us know how it turns out with the oncologist.

[Wicked Blue]

16. Unburden yourself here whenever you need to

We're here for you.
We're all here for one another.

[pnwest]

18. How unbearably heartbreaking.

I'm very sorry for what you and he are going through.

[Ohiogal]

19. I'm so sorry

Wishing strength for you during this difficult time.

And.... here’s a hug

[Soph0571]

24. Thank you for the hug

I need as many as possible. I want to go out with my girlfriends and get drunk and wail, but I would bring covid home, knowing our luck this year, and kill him before the cancer can, so virtual hugs are everything right now

[Thekaspervote]

20. Awhhh...so so sorry..that's really tough

[sinkingfeeling]

21. I'm very sorry to hear this. Hugs.

[Lefta Dissenter]

22. I'm sorry beyond words 😢

[Callalily]

23. This is such sad new Soph.

Staying strong and finding strength each day can not be easy, for you or your SO. Know that we are all here for you and we all support you and send hugs, strength and friendship.

[Soph0571]

26. Love I am beyond destroyed

He is going to die on me and I know that sooooo many are beyond destroyed right now for so many reasons, but this is my heart and right now I don't know what to do. However I will stay strong in front of him because that is what he needs and deserves, I will just occasionally collapse here, cause you are my on line family and I need to able at vent somewhere.

[Callalily]

68. My heart is breaking for you!

Keep in mind that we are all here for you and draw strength from us!

[Cosmo Blues]

190. Sympathy

Hi Soph, Too bad this is what brought you back to my attention. I feel for you, yes, you must stay strong and healthy to help Laird through this and venting is good. To Laird I would say best of luck on the other side. I know what a struggle this is for you but I know how resilient you are. Love and kisses. Cosmo

[Soph0571]

204. Oh my goodness

I miss you and all the wonderful newsvine friends of past poking the rightites in the nose! So much has happened in the land that time must forget since those days. Cosmo thank you so much for reaching out here, in my new on line home. Shit does not faze me, you know that, but I confess to struggling with this one. I'll be OK, cause that is what I do and maybe you should hang out here a bit, it is a great progressive community where trolls get biffed on the nose very quickly! The Laird is not is not doing great, but I will enjoy the time we have together. I'll send him your love rather than reminding him he is dying...

[Cosmo Blues]

217. You were one of the first people I met online

I do miss you too. And thank you for the edit, that is a much better sentiment to pass along to the Laird. I did just post the required 10 comments to be able to subscribe to your Lounge, I think. So I will be back. It's a Pity you're not here where grass is legal and Boris and Trump don't rule. Take care dear

[Soph0571]

219. It is good to see you love

My heart is lifted to see you here

[Cosmo Blues]

222. You were one of the first people I met online

I do miss you too. And thank you for the edit, that is a much better sentiment to pass along to the Laird. I did just post the required 10 comments to be able to subscribe to your Lounge, I think. So I will be back. It's a Pity you're not here where grass is legal and Boris and Trump don't rule. Take care dear

[fierywoman]

25. Oh, Soph, I'm so very sorry to hear this. Be the light to your SO that you are to us here.

[brer cat]

27. This is such sad news, Soph.

Sending love and hugs your way.

[SWBTATTReg]

28. Not only your heart is broken, all of ours are broken at this profoundly sad news. We're in it all

together, and will be there for you every step of the way. Weeping and crying is allowed and even though it may not help him, it will help you into accepting this horrible news, and move on to the next most important phase, being together for as much as you can possibly be (I'm sure that you're already doing this), be there for him, be strong for him, and always keep hope close by.

[sarge43]

29. So very sorry, Soph0571

I wish I had better words.

If there's anything we can do, please let us know.

Virtual

[Marie Marie]

30. So very sorry to hear this. Wish I could hug you in person.

[genxlib]

31. Words fail me

So sorry to hear this. Wishing you strength.

[mia]

32. I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this.

One of my brothers extended his life with cancer, by many years, with a vegan diet. Not saying it's a cure-all, but it's worth a try. He also enjoyed sharing his new recipes.

[Texin]

33. I'm so very, very sorry for the horrible news and for your shared pain.

[ms liberty]

34. I am so sorry...

[duhneece]

35. You are not alone

Some of us have been there. All of us want to be your support. Sending love, light, strength, comfort.

[mgardener]

36. I am so, so sorry

I don't know what else to say.
Anytime. Come. We will listen.

[livetohike]

37. Sending hugs for you both Soph0571. Holding you in

my thoughts for next week’s meeting with the oncologist.

[sheshe2]

38. I have no words.

I do have a loving hug for you and your SO.

[LakeArenal]

39. Take care of yourself as you take care of others.

Best of vibes and karma sent.

[ariadne0614]

40. What binds us together is the fact that not one of us will get out of this alive.

If anything can make each individual passage a little more bearable, the sense of belonging to a “beloved community” can play a useful role. Along with expressions of sympathy, empathy and support, for what it’s worth, I want to share a resource for practical information. I’m at the stage of life that requires me to think about these things. Be well, stay strong.
https://theconversationproject.org/

[bucolic_frolic]

41. So sorry to hear

Caregivers are a dedicated lot, even more so with SO's, but the fear, denial, stress, duties, fatigue all pile up just when the demands are the greatest. It is good to compartmentalize a small time window to be on DU. Get what local help is available to enable you to have adequate rest, sleep, and a fresh mind each day. I'm sure a bundle of DUers are here for you each day as needed.

[RainCaster]

42. So sorry to hear of this

[Ferrets are Cool]

43. I am so sorry

[Alliepoo]

44. Aww Sophomore-I'm so sorry to hear this news

I really hope the oncologist can offer some treatment that can help your love. Try to stay strong and just know that we are here for you to lean on and support you whenever you need it. Sending you a big ol’ ((HUG)).

[Botany]

45. You will find strength you never knew you had and you will do the right thing time after time.

It will not be easy but you will be there for your SO. Hospice* @ home or in a care facility has some
of the best people in the world. Crying isn't that bad it lets you know you are alive.


* If it is called for.

[MyOwnPeace]

98. Soph, you are one of my "FIGHTIN' HEROES" here at DU.....

and "Botany" - such great words you offer.

Just as Botany has done, Soph, we all offer our love and support.

We are all "terminal" from the day we are born - it's what we do with that time in between that makes life worth living. It is obvious from what you have shared that you have helped to make your SO's life special and significant, just as it seems that he has done the same for you. So many people go through life without that - you have both shared something special.

[Soph0571]

213. He is my heart and I am his n/t

[rurallib]

46. Sounds pretty much inevitable. The timing and the pain seem to be the question

Here is hoping you have the strength to cope no matter the decision.
The bad part of life no one wants to go through.

Sharing your struggles will no doubt help others when they have to face something similar. For that we thank you.

[littlemissmartypants]

47. I am so sorry, dear Soph. I understand how you are feeling.

I just found out yesterday that my Dad is in the same state your SO is in. It's terrifyingly sad. I'm sending hugs and good vibes and the loving support that you both no doubt need. I wish I could do more.

Stay strong.

❤

[niyad]

125. (((((((((lmsp))))))))) sending vibes for strength and comfort for you in this difficult time. Your

DU family is here for you.

[littlemissmartypants]

206. Thanks niyad. I really need my DU family. Thank you for the reassurance.

❤ lmsp

[Soph0571]

210. Stay strong love

I feel your pain

[littlemissmartypants]

212. I am so trying to stay in the now and enjoy what time is left.

But not knowing the when and seeing and hearing the changes in his body and voice, make me have to cry. He's been a wonderful dad.

[Soph0571]

214. I hear you

Exactly the same with me. But I have no space to cry. It fucking sucks doesn't it?

[littlemissmartypants]

215. It really does. I'm sad, mad and worried all at the same time.

It's making me physically ill.

[NJCher]

48. my heart breaks for you

life can just be so #@% cruel.

[KatyaR]

49. I'm so, so, so very sorry.

I'm sending you a big hug and the hope that, whatever comes, you and your SO will cherish the time you have together.

[yankeepants]

50. So sorry, Soph. Your DU family is always here for you.

[GeoWilliam750]

51. So terribly sorry to hear this

Wishing you strength and comfort

[ornotna]

52. So sorry to hear this

[LiberalBrooke]

53. I am so sorry. Virtual hugs.

[Stuart G]

54. So sorry.

[peacebuzzard]

55. I am so sorry, Soph0571,

This news is sad to hear. I hope your SO is a candidate for treatment or immune boosting treatment that may alleviate the symptoms and generate a turn in the disease.

Thinking of you here on the other side of the pond, and generating well wishes and strength for both of you. Please keep us informed.

[world wide wally]

56. Peace is all I can say

[NNadir]

57. I am very, very sorry. He's very lucky to have someone who loves him while he makes difficult...

...decisions.

There's that...

I always try to keep this quote from Kahlil Gibran in my mind when facing love's difficulty, pain, and yes, sometimes, loss:

“But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.”

If I had any advice to give it would be this: Recall laughing all of your laughter and it will make it easier to weep all of your tears.

I wish you the best.

[tiredtoo]

58. Lost my wife to cancer a little over 4 years ago.

She hung on for 10 months after the initial diagnosis. Everyone told us to enjoy every moment possible and we did. She was in hospice care for the last 10 weeks after undergoing both chemo and radiation therapy. She was hesitant about hospice as her mother spent hospice at our house. And she really did not want to die. Never made it clear why, the nurses said she is afraid to die. But i think her feisty attitude about life just didn't want to give up. Worst year of my life from the time it was diagnosed to when she died. Everyone is different but I have now accepted it in spite of thinking of her almost daily.
So sorry to hear your news and hope you can share precious moments with your SO as much as possible.

[Soph0571]

92. I am so sorry for your loss

And i am not going to waste one minute with him. Thank you sooooo much for sharing.

[PatrickforO]

59. I cannot tell you how sorry I am. I have lost people dear to me as well,

and it is horrible. You just want to fall on the ground and cry. Yet, you're right. You have to be strong for him.

We're with you. I think you have a lot of friends here.

[BigDemVoter]

60. I am SO sorry to hear this. I work in healthcare.

Should it ever come to this, I have to assure you that hospice sounds depressing & awful, but HONESTLY, the people are great not only for patients but also for family members. I am hoping for the very best outcome for you!

[pazzyanne]

61. Prayers and thoughts for healing on their way to you and your SO.

Please take care of you while you take care of him! Hard to do at stressful time in our lives.

[flamin lib]

62. Oh my dear Soph,

There aren't words to express my sympathy.

Please, when you can be kind to yourself. Take the time to grieve and if it feels right grieve with him.

All of DU is here for you. From our hearts to yours.

[Skittles]

63. so very sorry, Soph571

there is ALWAYS someone on DU and we are here for you

[Hekate]

64. Ah, Soph

[TNNurse]

65. So very sorry

Please know you can say anything here and we will understand.

If Hospice becomes the plan please know that it is a loving compassionate choice. I saw it at work and have had many many people share that Hospice was the very best thing they could have hoped for in the situation.

[liberal N proud]

66. Terrible

Stay strong, lean on US and others around you.

[bronxiteforever]

67. Oh our dear Soph! You & your SO are in my best thoughts.

I know From your posts that you are a brave heart. Healing thoughts to your so.
Peace Bronx

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

69. I'm so sorry!

Wish there was something that could be done - please take care of yourself, too.

[SayItLoud]

70. Sending you both love and positive waves of energy.

[secondwind]

71. Oh my goodness, this is god-awful, and my heart ♥️ goes

out to both of you! I cannot imagine what you are feeling right now, but I will be sending my prayers out for you, and your honey ❤️😌

[ancianita]

72. Arms around you, Soph. Hearts feel your pain.

Be the best you can be, but cry with your SO, who needs to know how much you love and feel suffering with him and still feel hopeful with him. Suffering with is good. Staying 'strong' can create distance. Comforting him is also comforting yourself and your spirits together.


Feeling hope with you. Glad for both of you that you can be with each other through a dark time.

[still_one]

73. So sorry what you are going through.

[NBachers]

74. Soph your family is here for you- I watched my mom & brother go this way- it's heart-breaking to see

but it's been all over now for a long time. After they found their peace - they're still my mom and my brother. Nothing can ever take them, or their place in my life, away from me.

You don't have to be the 'strong one,' you just have to be there. We will be here with you.

[Trueblue Texan]

75. I am so terribly sorry...

I send you thoughts of peace and healing. May you both find a way to comfort one another in this scary time.

[mountain grammy]

76. Oh I'm so sorry to see this

please keep us updated.. I will hope for the best.

[AmyStrange]

77. Every second from now on is precious, and...

-

read Dylan Thomas's poem together:

Do not go gentle into that good night

https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/do-not-go-gentle-into-that-good-night/


I also heard that CBD oil and/or THC might be able to help here:

The National Institute of Health published a study in 2011, Cell Death & Differentiation, that demonstrates THC and JWH-015 (a cannabinoid receptor), decreased the viability of liver cancer cells. Cannabinoids were also shown to inhibit tumor growth and the accumulation of fluid in the abdomen. These are significant findings as they may be helpful in the design of therapeutic strategies to manage liver cancer.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3131949/

A study published in February 2015 found rates of bladder cancer are 45% lower in cannabis users, compared to those who do not use it.
https://www.goldjournal.net/article/S0090-4295%2814%2901206-0/fulltext

According to the National Cancer Institute (NCI), preclinical studies demonstrate the efficacy of cannabinoids to inhibit tumor growth by protecting healthy cells while killing cancer cells and obstructing the growth of cells and blood vessels needed for tumors to grow. The NCI also claims that a lab study of THC killed or damaged cancer cells, and when the study was repeated in mouse models, showed it had anti-tumor effects that could aid in the fight against lung and breast cancer.
https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/treatment/cam/patient/cannabis-pdq#link/_13
==============

[July]

78. I am very sorry.

DU will be here for you, at least as the sounding board you need at this very difficult moment. You are honoring your SO’s wishes, and we will try to hold you up as you do that. I wish you strength.

[Heartstrings]

79. Healing vibes sent to your SO

And a virtual hug to you.....🙁

[warmfeet]

80. I am sorry and wish I could help.

Sending Love.

[dawn5651]

81. look at dandelion root tea.....they are seeing really positive results with it....

https://www.verywellhealth.com/the-benefits-of-dandelion-root-89103

[PirateRo]

82. I am so sorry to hear this

Have you checked online for cancer immunotherapy projects he might qualify for? It might help you to take an active hand for these research-based activities and it may even produce results beneficial to him. I wish I could direct you further, but perhaps your doctor may help here.

I wish you both all the best.

[634-5789]

83. expect our prayers, find peace

[Mickju]

84. I am so sorry.

[llashram]

85. I am so sorry

may you and yours find peace...

[Totally Tunsie]

86. Wishing blessings to you both.

[bluestarone]

87. So very sorry!

I pray for you ALL!

[BadgerMom]

88. This saddens me so.

I know that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach. I’m thinking of you and wishing you both the best.

[matt819]

89. So sorry

Must feel like one heck of a blow.

[renate]

90. I'm so, so, so sorry

My heart sinks when I only imagine how you and he must be feeling right now; living it must be utterly overwhelming. How unreal, how unfair, how terrible. It sounds like you still have some uncertainty, which is a good thing (hope is always good) but is still so unsettling. I'm so sorry.

I'm glad you have this community of friends, and I hope that if it becomes necessary you will not put off seeking help from hospice. So many people wait a long time because it seems like giving up, but hospice isn't a despairing last resort: it's a huge help in a terrible time. It will make him more comfortable and it will give you both a lot of support. Please sign up for their services the minute he becomes eligible, if what you are fearing does come to pass. It will help.

I hope you get good news next week. I'm sorry for the long, immensely stressful days that come between now and then.

Sending you so much love.

[LaMouffette]

91. My heart is breaking right now for you!

The love you have for him just leaps out from the raw, sad emotion in your post. Please remember that the only thing that endures is the love that we create here on Earth. You have created a love story with your SO that will go on forever, from this world into the next, whatever that may be. All the very best to you and your beloved!

[mecherosegarden]

93. I am so sorry!

May you find strength and never give up hope.

[Blue_playwright]

94. My heart breaks for you...

Come and cry, complain and yell all you want. We are here for you.

[SammyWinstonJack]

95. ...

[SaveOurDemocracy]

96. Ahhhhhh ... (((((((Soph))))))) So sorry to hear this news.

My hubs is facing an uncertain future also ... Stage 4 colon cancer. We have not yet reached the situation you're currently facing, but I know the pain and fear.

It's especially horrible now when any supportive friends and family can't be with us for those needed hugs and shoulders. Bring it here, there's always someone 24/7 willing to listen, comfort and give virtual hugs.

Love and peace to you and your SO. ❤ 💕

[niyad]

135. Virtual hugs and vibes for strength and comfort for you and you hubs as well. Your DU family

is here for you both.

[SaveOurDemocracy]

156. Thank you, niyad. That means a lot to me.

[Soph0571]

216. Och love

My heart goes out to you, and you are exactly right, we can go nowhere and do nothing to protect them, Covid can not come in to our households and even as lockdown is being is eased we cannot risk it.

[KT2000]

97. I'm so sorry

there are no words to fix this but I wish you the best at this precious time.

[FakeNoose]

99. This isn't fair! Cancer keeps on winning

You'll be brave and strong for him, I know. Lean on us at DU.
I'd like to pray for your man. Can you tell me his first name?

[alwaysinasnit]

100. ((Soph))

We are here for you.

[Dem_in_Nebr.]

101. I, too, am truly sorry!

My heart goes out to both of you.

Prayers wing on their way . . . .

[CaptainTruth]

102. I'm so sorry ... you're in my thoughts.

[snacker]

103. I'm so sorry.

[cally]

104. I'm so sorry

Very difficult news. Many hugs

[MissMillie]

105. Oh, Soph, I'm so sorry

We're here for you.

[kimbutgar]

106. So sorry but keep up hope for a miracle.

[RT Atlanta]

107. I'm so sorry

I pray for strength for you and your SO as he walks this walk. Your love and presence will be a beacon of hope and help him whatever his next days are.

Sending positive vibrations to you both.

[smirkymonkey]

108. I'm so sorry to hear this Soph.

I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. Please know that we are here for you and there are usually at least a few of us insomniacs up any time of the day or night, so reach out whenever you need to! Sending healing thoughts and hugs for both of you.

[Soph0571]

121. Right now I am rather drunk... cause I need to be present in this moment when my heart

is crying, but i cannot even. Gin is great in a crisis. Hic.

[smirkymonkey]

130. It's ok, you need to allow yourself a little release as well!

Just be careful, you don't want to fall down and get hurt or anything! Just enough to quietly pass out and sleep the night away with no interruptions!

[Soph0571]

205. Hangover was huge - but I am a light weight

Did not fall over and slept OK!

[smirkymonkey]

220. Glad to hear you are in one piece. Sorry about the hangover, but those are kind of

hard to avoid. Take care of yourself and keep in touch with us.

[Bettie]

109. So sorry to hear this

that is awful. I can't even imagine how difficult the next months will be.

Take care of yourself.

[cp]

110. Sending love

Big hug

[KBlagburn]

111. Sending you both Love

[spudspud]

112. I'll say a prayer for both of you, and hope for the best.

[overleft]

113. My prayers and love are with you.

[JDC]

114. I'm so truly sorry for you both.

[GentryDixon]

115. Oh Soph, I'm so very sorry.💔

[Evolve Dammit]

116. I am so sorry to hear this. We are so vulnerable as human beings. I think your SO is doing what I

would. Not desirable, but dignified. I hope better options present. I hope for the best, and that you both have support. Hang in there and know we care.

[SleeplessinSoCal]

117. Truly sorry. Being there, tears and all, will help you both.

[Snoopy 7]

118. My Mom

My Mom just got diagnosed with cancer of the lung, bladder and they believed it has spread to other ares and it's in the blood. She was given 4-6 months to live. So, I know what your going through and it is a heart wrenching thing that nobody should go through. I wish you the best and we can only try to make them comfortable as their lives dwindle.

[niyad]

137. Virtual hugs and vibes for strength and comfort for you and your mom. Your DU

family is here for you.

[Fla Dem]

119. Oh gosh; Soph. No words to ease your pain, anxiety and sadness.

All I can do is let you know, you and your husband are in my thoughts. Whatever the future may have for you and your husband, I hope you know we are here for you. Do not walk this path alone. .

[niyad]

120. (((((((((((soph)))))))))!! So very sorry to hear this. Sending vibes for very best outcome, for

strength and comfort. Your DU family is here for you, holding you both in light and love.

[barbtries]

123. I'm so sorry.

I hope we can comfort you just a little and help you as you navigate this dark road.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

124. Oh my dear Soph, I am devastated at your overwhelming news...

I wish you and your beloved SO the best possible way forward. Losing a loved one is almost certainly the hardest thing to endure.

Be sure that all of us here on DU are keeping you in our arms and wishing we could do more.

Be good to yourself.

[Soph0571]

129. Peggy I don't know what to do

I am lost. My heart is dying. He is going to be lost to me, For ever,

[CaliforniaPeggy]

132. You will always have his love in your heart....Hang on to that, OK?

I read somewhere that "Grief is the price we pay for love." I believe it.

[Oppaloopa]

126. So sorry g/f you are the best one on here. My partner of 15 years died in Feburary. Hang on please.

[CanonRay]

127. Thinking of you both

[sellitman]

128. Get in all the time you can.

No matter when loved ones go there is never enough time.

Stay strong. (Easier said then done I know)

Lot's of shoulders here for you.

Hugs

[MaryMagdaline]

131. I'm so sorry for you and your SO

So hard to be strong when your you love someone. Peace to you both.

[JudyM]

133. So very very sorry to hear.

For me, being in the moment, as completely as possible, helped. You will find your way through, too.

[Star-Thrower]

134. I am not trying to

hijack Soph0571's post. But it is giving some clarity to my situation. Because I lost so much weight my primary care authorized a CT scan as I had a burning sensation in my stomach. The CT scan was denied by my health insurance. They then did authorize an Xray of my abdomen. I have heard nothing from my primary care people. Meanwhile I am feeling nauseous and have been throwing up and also having dry heaves. I look like a skeleton. I have heard nothing from the doctor's office. Not even what the comprehensive lab blood work results were even when I had instructed them to send me a copy of the results. I have done annual check ups and previously had excellent results. I have no medications prescribed as I was considered in good health. I take an occasional asprin. That's it. So now, I lay down in bed convinced that I am dying. Thank you Soph0571..I just had to get this out. I'm alone, no sig other, no family.

[niyad]

139. Virtual hugs, Star-Thrower. You are not alone. DU is a family, our family, and we are here for

you. Vibes for healing and strength and comfort headed your way

[Star-Thrower]

221. Thank you

I feel like scared. Yet wanting to know what the hell is going on with me. I feel like somehow this is my fault. I'm ashamed that this has happened like I should be impervious to disease and it is a moral failing becuse of my life style choices. That's pretty much it. I asked for another PA because I felt she was condescending and insinuating I was at fault for my smoking habit. How that relates to what I'm currently feeling doesn't compute. Or does it?

[SaveOurDemocracy]

158. It's hard waiting for results, we can't help but fear the worst.

Wishing you the best outcome. Sending healing thoughts and prayers your way.

[Fla Dem]

186. Please follow up asap with your primary care Dr.

I'm sure what you are going through is very upsetting and you're filled with anxiety. Call them every day. Go to the office and demand a copy of your lab results. it's your life.

[Star-Thrower]

224. Will do

This is Saturday night and I will probably go in person to the Primary Care office and demand some clarity. Already they do not have my belief that they know what they are doing. Item: when I was working with adolescents with psychological challenges of abuse etc.
I called in sick because I had been vomiting. I thought it was from a fast food take out and some of my co worrkers also had the same take out. So I called in sick a 2nd. time. I went to the my health care and they sent me home with an anti-nausea prescription. I was going to call out sick for a 3rd time when a coworker said I would have to have a doctor's excuse. Then I had the worst pain I'd ever exxperienced. I actually screamed as I laidin bed. I went to the emergency room and a doctor (thank goodness) pressed my abdoman and I like screamed in pain. He sent me to the local hospital and it was ascertained that I had a tear in my appendix and I had to go into surgery right then and there. I tried to tell the doctor that I had to go home to take care of my dogs but he would have none of it. Bottom line: They probably saved my life. But the origninal go home and take anti-nausea pills was dereliction. of duty. So no, I have not confidence in this primary care office..

[masmdu]

136. You are loved ❤️

So sorry to hear this.

[soldierant]

138. I can't tell you how sorry I am.

I have a friend with stage 4 whose is looking at ess than a year. He's unable to tolerate normal chemo, but got approvied for a new chemo drug called Pembrolizumab. The only side effect seems to be fatigue. I'm not a medical professional myself, but perhaps your oncologist might be asked?

[c-rational]

140. I am so sorry Soph.

[bluecollar2]

141. So sorry for you and your s/o...n/t

[LiberalLoner]

142. I'm so sorry.

[MLAA]

143. My dear, dear Soph0571

I am so so sorry. I have not experienced anything in the range you are. I have experienced fear for my loved one after heart attack and bleeding ulcer. When I got really scared I went into the bathroom and cried. Or cried during the shower. It helped me release some intense emotion.

💕💕💕💖💖love💕💕💕💕💖💖💖💖💖

[moonscape]

144. Heartbreaking. So sorry :( n/t

[karin_sj]

145. I am so sorry

My heart is breaking for both of you. I will pray that the chemo can help him.

[denvine]

146. I am so so very sorry.

Words seem meaningless, but do know that lots of positive, healing thoughts and prayers are coming your way.

[Solly Mack]

147. So sorry. Heartbreaking news.

Keep us posted and also let us know how you're holding up.

[TygrBright]

148. Oh, Soph... holding you in my heart. No words... n/t

[Cha]

149. I'm so very Sorry, Soph!

[scipan]

150. I'm so sorry.

Maybe some experimental drug? Sorry I can't give more hope. There are people with you who you don't even know, like me.

[Maraya1969]

151. I am so sorry Soph.

I can't think of any other words now except I'm sorry.

[Tender hopper]

152. God bless you and yours Soph

You don`t know me, this is only my second post, but I have been looking forward to your posts forever. If the worst happens, draw strength from the certain knowledge that time can turn grief into warm remembrance.

[Silver Gaia]

153. I am so very, very sorry, Soph.

I know well that dread in the pit of one's stomach. My heart is with you. And my hope.

We are all here for you. Always.

[cry baby]

154. I'm so sorry to hear that terrible news.

sending healing thoughts your hubby’s way and sending hugs to you.

[In_The_Wind]

155. So sorry for your pain, Soph.

We will always be here when you need us.

[Tumbulu]

157. Sending you and you SO love and hugs

So so sorry to read this.

[FailureToCommunicate]

159. If you have already gone to bed, may you have a deep, dreamless, restful sleep.

So very sorry to hear of this latest development.

You knew and feared it might be so.

Virtual hugs and strength sent to you.

[AnotherDreamWeaver]

160. My sympathy...

May you find the strength to get through this.

[crickets]

161. I am so, so sorry.

I don't even know what to say, I just wish you and your SO all the strength in the world to deal with this.

[Niagara]

162. I'm so sorry to hear this, Soph.

You are a treasure here on DU and I hate hearing any of my DU family being in distress.


If you can, please contact a licensed therapist even if it's through Zoom. Talking about what's going on with a professional can help immensely. Also, after helping your beloved SO into bed, go outside and cry. Let it out. Not letting it out does more harm than good.


I'm sending good vibes and strength your way.

[BobTheSubgenius]

163. What a gut punch.

I'm SO sorry to hear this. Maybe it's because I've had more than my share of interface with the medical community over the last few months, but your account has left me very sad, and hoping so hard for some good news for you both.

Needless to say, none of my medical issues are anything like those plaguing the two of you.

My very best to you both.

[majdrfrtim]

164. No words.

I wish there were more I could do than a virtual hug.

FWIW, prayers from my end, though.

No words suffice.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

165. so sorry. There are so many victims on the periphery

Of Covid. The seriously ill who couldn't get treated, the nursing home residents who just looked to the state and families to keep them safe.

There is nothing to say...no words to make you feel better. Hoping for a miracle for you!.

[sprinkleeninow]

166. I'm so very sorry to read this.

My heart is in distress for you and yours.

All I can offer is my prayerful belief for the best outcome.

Please God, have mercy according to Your great mercies.


💙 🙏

[BComplex]

167. So so sorry, Soph.

This is heartbreaking, and I wish we could all surround you with hugs.
Will definitely keep him and you in my thoughts and prayers. What a terribly difficult time.

[sprinkleeninow]

168. As I read entries, I was reminded of my neighbor buddy's close friend. Stage 4 prostate malignancy

last 2 years. Received an experimental or clinical trial protocol, I believe.

Today he is a picture of health, resuming exercise and sport activities. My buddy shared a video of him running.

He was brought back from the brink.

Think on this. Love you...

[GReedDiamond]

169. So sad...so sorry...no words will suffice.

[radical noodle]

170. Comforting hugs!

I can imagine the heartache and worry you have. If you have trouble making peace with his decision against treatment (if it comes to that) you might try reading Being Mortal by Atul Gawande. It deals with the issue of quantity vs quality of life.

[DFW]

171. I know I would fall apart

I can imagine you are, too.

I wish there were something I could offer beyond sympathy, and I hate that there isn‘t.

[LittleGirl]

172. I'm so sorry. My heart breaks with you. nt

[Lady_Chat]

173. Sending Love and Hope your way.

Both you and your husband are in my prayers.

[BlueMTexpat]

174. So, so sorry

to hear this!

All my very best wishes for you both!

[GoneOffShore]

175. So sorry -

[colorado_ufo]

176. Bless you.

Take each day as it comes. Each of us only has today. And today, we can deal with that.

[cate94]

177. I'm so sorry to hear this.

Sending prayers and hugs.

[N_E_1 for Tennis]

178. (((Soph)))

[stuffmatters]

179. My heart is breaking for you, Soph.

Sending you love and prayerful hugs.

[pansypoo53219]

180. so sorry. good luck.

[Ditto_NV]

181. So sorry.

So very sorry to hear this terrible news. I will keep you both in my thoughts and hope that you both find a way to summon the strength to get through this.

[Soph0571]

208. Fucking hell

Oh my goodness. Ditto, my glorious and fabulous Ditto. Thank you for reaching out. Hello!

[niyad]

225. Welcome to DU

[augyboston]

182. Will keep your SO and you in my thoughts

Words are inadequate, so will keep your SO and you in my thoughts.

That damn decease took my mom when she was only 43, five days before my 18th birthday.

All I can say is take it day to day and try to have the best day today that you can and deal with each day as they come...

[Myrddin]

183. Your humour Dear Soph, your humour.

The ability of folk from the more 'challenged' areas of UK to find laughter, where laughter has no business to be.

Comical defiance in the face of tragic adversity! The very basis of the Brit coping mechanism.

If a situation is unbeatable - laugh in its face!

I sincerely hope, you understand what I mean? Maybe not at this moment, but after the shock passes?

Sean

[Soph0571]

209. Yeah I understand

And I am from Ulster... we understand this better than most.

[Mad_Dem_X]

184. How horrible. So very sorry to hear this.

[yardwork]

185. I am so sorry.

[TuxedoKat]

187. So sorry

that you and your beloved SO are going through this. I hesitate to post this, but I heard a woman (she had cancer) on NPR recently who now works with cancer patients. She gives a free consultation and can no doubt work remotely with clients as well. The day I heard her on the radio, a good friend at work had just told me her mother's cancer had returned. It's curious that I happened to hear her on the radio, as I wasn't driving my usual vehicle that day (which has SiriusXM, which I always listen to) and so I had to listen to NPR, which I don't even like much (too conservative for me!). Anyway, this is what I emailed my friend:

"so this is the woman I just heard on WAMC. She is a Life Coach, but specializes in helping cancer patients. Actually, it was more than
twenty years ago that she got her cancer diagnosis. She does offer a free ½ hour consultation. It looks like she has both a science-based and natural healing based approach. She sounded lovely and very caring. One thing she said that struck me is that she doesn’t promise people miracles but she wants to help them live their best life and also that none of us know how long we have here."

https://www.marisaharris.com/

Love and prayers to you and your SO.

[Freedomofspeech]

188. Sending you love and peace...

[deek]

189. peace to you

im sorry you are experiencing this

[samplegirl]

191. Will be praying for you

And your husband. If you need a friend message me.

[nocoincidences]

192. So very sorry to hear this.

I have been in your shoes and there is nothing to do but cry when you get the chance, and be strong when he needs you to be. It's the toughest road you can walk, this dreadful time for both of you.

[appalachiablue]

193. Very sorry about this sad news & prayers for you both..

Like many others I appreciate your great work at DU, please stay around if it helps.

[pandr32]

194. I am so sorry to hear this, Soph0571

He is fortunate to have you and your love while he faces such grim prospects, and we love you here, Soph0571.

[Kimber432]

195. I am so very sorry.

Sending prayers and love. My heart breaks for the both of you. Tragic loss. I am so sorry.

[greatauntoftriplets]

196. OMG, Soph, I am so sorry to hear this.

Best wishes and strength to you and your SO. I hope that they can find a treatment that will help him.

[samsingh]

197. Very sorry.

[highplainsdem]

198. I'm so sorry, Soph. This is heartbreaking. Lots of prayers coming for both of you.

[lunatica]

199. Hugs to you

Your SO is really brave and dignified.

[PJMcK]

200. Much love to you, dear Soph

Much love and admiration.

Your news is sorrowful.

[Illumination]

201. You're a real trooper too! My best...

[AC_Mem]

202. I'm deeply sorry

This is so hard - for both of you. My highest hope is for the best possible result with peace and grace for both of you.
Annette

[KentuckyWoman]

203. Hugs

My heart goes out to you.

[Marthe48]

207. I'm sorry to read your news

Spend your time together. Hope and pray for the best and put your whole heart into it. If the worst happens, you'll have fewer regrets. As you say, weeping and wailing doesn't help your SO, but you can vent when you're running errands.

There is a very special Cancer Support group here on DU. You might try going there. MY DU friends were so good to me. I wish you the best.

[Kali]

218. laugh and cry

fully

[Silver1]

223. In case you didn't notice ...

I sent you an email which you may find helpful or useful. I'm so sorry for these news. Take care.

[VerbalBarb]

226. Oh, Soph, I'm so sorry to read this.

I hadn't been to my verbalbarb email for a long, long time and was so sorry to see this come up when I checked it today.

My heart goes out to both of you. My thoughts are with you, along with the hope that they can find something that will help JJ.

[Soph0571]

228. You came barb

He died and I cannot even, I have lost him.

[Eliot Rosewater]

227. So so so sorry...