Got my "inheritance" (so to speak,) from my Mom...

[Archae]

My Mom died last Thursday, and I received some items from Mom's collections.

Most of what my Mom had owned was given away to us kids or sold when she was moved to the assisted living facility.

But I received a bunch of photos, a lot of CD's, (most of them were ones I had made for her,) 2 gold foil Mark McGwire baseball cards, and a gold-plated coin (worth about $20,) with Babe Ruth on it.

I'm not in her will, I asked to be taken out when I got on SSI almost 30 years ago.
It's ok, my sisters will still help out if I need it, or ask.

I don't think there will be any real problems with my Mom's estate, and I'm grateful for that.
Every year I read about rich families that end up in courts for years snarling and fighting each other over big inheritances.

[UpInArms]

1. I think you may have "inherited " much more, Archae

Your mom must have been a wonderful person, and you have those qualities, also

[Archae]

2. Thanks, I think the biggest trait I inherited from Mom was her acceptance.

She'd accept when us kids went our separate way in religion, and we always accepted hers.

She also accepted all our girlfriends/boyfriends/husbands too.

That was her best attribute, her acceptance.

[Frustratedlady]

3. I've been through a couple nasty estates and you are fortunate.

I think a lot of the problems with estates center around life-long grievances. I had one sister complain that my younger brother and I were treated to a lot more than the older kids. Well, yeah...the folks had more resources when my brother and I were kids. She let me know that I got more dolls. I knew she had a chip on her shoulder, but to have it last for over 40 years was a shock.

You have memories and little items you probably haven't seen in years.

So sorry in the loss of your mother. She obviously taught you well.

[Archae]

4. It can last longer that that, I assure you.

I know a guy who hasn't seen or talked to his father (his Mother died long after divorcing the Father) in 50 years.

From my friend's descriptions, (his family was straight out of some lurid soap opera,) drugs, drinking, etc.

Just look at the Trump family and their squabbles.

[Wellstone ruled]

7. They do tend to get ugly.

Like you, did two estate settlements. One was a personnel check book drainer,and the other was some what civil. Tons of old grievances float to the surface.

Photos and a piece of Costume Jewelry as well as a few great memories out way the bad ones.

[Piasladic]

5. Still sad though

Man, it hurts. I hope you have people there for you.

When I lost my dad, there was nothing to squabble over.

[The Genealogist]

6. Sadly, it isn't always big inheritances that get snarled up.

My great grandfather, hardly a rich man, died in 1951. The children fought over every photograph, plate and stick of furniture. I remember being with my grandmother at her sister's home, which had been the family home. They fought for an entire afternoon over a photograph of a deceased brother. The mess was only settled when one of my great grandfather's children was left. In 1996. 45 years later. It happened to be my grandmother.

Glad you are not going to have to go through such crap.

[Bayard]

8. Both of my husbands parents died suddenly last month

The will divided everything up equally between the 3 kids. It was very clear, and no one disputes it. His older brother is handling all the financials, and the two siblings trust him.

I think his folks would be happy.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

9. Inheritance squabbles tend to have more to do with family dynamics

than with the size of an estate. If everybody gets along pretty well, even a large estate can be distributed amicably and without litigation. If they don't, regardless of the size of the estate, the heirs will fight over every last nickel, dime, stick of furniture and soup spoon - regardless of what the will says, and if there was no will it gets even more interesting. It all comes down to whether some family member feels aggrieved by the deceased person or by the other heirs. It can get really ugly. I'm glad your family is among the sane ones.

My siblings and I got along, too, so when our parents passed away there was no fighting over the estate (although one of the spouses got a little too acquisitive about some antiques, but they weren't valuable enough to make a fuss - it was just kind of irritating).

[abqtommy]

10. My Mom died last year and I've chosen to grieve for her for as long as I live. She gave me

most of her things since she needed room and I was there and willing to haul it away. I
offered to give my Sis whatever she wanted but she said she didn't want anything. But then
Mom always liked me best*! (as far as I know my Mom didn't leave a will. I had it all!)

*Smothers Brothers and the Mom Always Liked You Best routine

[calimary]

11. It's a shame that this kind of stuff had to be part of it.

At least it hasn’t ripped your surviving family members apart. So much can come between otherwise-loving people at times like that.

Family stuff is often MISERABLE.