Y'all grammarians, more and more I see this sort of thing:

[raccoon]

“ if only he would have done that… “

“If I wouldn’t have done that…“

My understanding is that, a better way of saying that is:

“if only he had done that...”

“If I hadn’t done that”

I saw both of these in “the language of letting go” today. I’m no expert in grammar. I couldn’t tell you when to use “whom” If my life depended on it.

I know languages change, and this isn’t a hill to die on not for me anyway. But I just want to know what y’all think. Because I am seeing this more and more and hearing it more too.

[handmade34]

1. that is a very good point!

[secondwind]

2. I think "whom" comes after a verb.

Pretty sure.

[Cirque du So-What]

4. It's not that hard

Here’s a concise guide:

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/who-vs-whom-its-not-as-complicated-as-you-might-think/

[Cirque du So-What]

3. I agree that your versions are better

Unnecessary words must be shot on sight.

[TDale313]

5. Meh.

As long as it’s not “would of”, it doesn’t bother me too much. 😉

[if..fish..had..wings]

6. That's the sort of thing up with which I will not put.

Winston Churchill

[abqtommy]

7. The crux of the matter for all those that natter is that language is a tool used for whomever

wishes to communicate. Of course there are physical tells the ring my bells and also show
me the intent of hell-bent others. There's a precedent to which any whom desire can turn to and that's the story by Ernest Hemingway I read in school titled For Whom The Bell Tolls
which was also made into a movie. There is no connection to Tollhouse Cookies that I know of unless one counts them as a snack consumed while reading.

But then the phrase For Whom The Bell Tolls was lifted from and earlier piece of writ by
John Dunne, whom has not been forgotten:

For Whom the Bell Tolls, novel by Ernest Hemingway, published in 1940. The title is from a sermon by John Donne containing the famous words "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main…. Any man’s death diminishes me, for I am involved in mankind. Any therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

link: https://www.britannica.com/topic/For-Whom-the-Bell-Tolls-novel-by-Hemingway

John Donne who originated the "For Whom" quote died in 1631.

link: https://allpoetry.com/No-man-is-an-island

So what goes around comes around for whomever is paying attention. If you can't afford
to pay attention it just might affect your retention. Or is it "effect"? But that's a topic for another op for whom an whomever wishes.

note: This op has been entirely trump-free.