Some priceless turkey cooking advice from one of our Kindergarten classes. :)

[GreenPartyVoter]

[Illumination]

1. Sounds practical & healthy to me!...

LOL!.....

[robbob]

2. Step #4

Reminds me of the turkey scene from “The Accidental Tourist”!

[soothsayer]

3. I'll try it and let you know!

Oh shoot, needed this a week ago

[Sherman A1]

4. I am going to have to look up where to find a turkey trap

and I want to be sure that it doesn't dance in the oven after I catch one.

[lunatica]

14. It dances in the oven because it's really, really hot in there!

Especially on the 7th day!

[NotANeocon]

18. It dances like a cat

- on a hot tin roof.

[pazzyanne]

5. Now I get the direction.

Put my Rock Cornish Game Hens in the oven2 hours ago. Guess I'll have to save them for 2021.

[Arkansas Granny]

6. Good advice. I sent that to my family since I'm not there to supervise this year.

[blueinredohio]

7. Cute!

[UserNotFound]

8. "Cook it in the microwave or oven,

at 10 degrees for 7 days."

I spewed coffee everywhere. May have to get a new computer....

[tblue37]

11. I liked "peel it."

[jmowreader]

9. If you asked me "what are you thankful for"...

...it is that my managing editor refuses to run “how took cook a Thanksgiving turkey” features in his newspaper. Instead, we run a “what I am thankful for” feature.

Besides, the real answer to “how to cook a turkey” is that you can’t. Yes, I know millions of people will attempt it, but it can’t be done. Due to the way a turkey is shaped, by the time the thickest parts of it are up to temperature other parts of it are bone dry. This is why stuffing was invented. No one ever got up one morning and said “y’know, I think soggy bread with celery, onions and seasonings would be the most wonderful Thanksgiving dish.” They invented this shit to put a source of moisture into the cavities of the bird so it didn’t completely dry the fuck out...and in the process created 40 million superspreader events for ptomaine all across America. (For a safe Thanksgiving turkey filler, mix onions, celery, butter and seasonings in whatever ratio feels right to you and shove THAT into the turkey.)

[Beartracks]

10. "Take off the feathers. Feel it."

Priceless!

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[tblue37]

12. That's "peel it." It's my favorite part of the instructions.

[Beartracks]

13. Oh! Well, that's embarrasing.

I guess I really do need to get those new glasses.

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[Dukkha]

15. That must be 10 degrees celsius

Because 10° Fahrenheit? Cmon that's just insane! But 10°C (50°F) for 7 days, of course only real poultry aficionados cook it that way!

[yellowdogintexas]

16. my daughter's kindergarten class did a cookbook

I still have it - some of those recipes are hilarious!

She did instructions on cooking a lobster.

[HardLineDem]

17. They write far better than I did in kindergarten

I don't think that they started teaching us reading, much less writing, at that level. Good for these kids, and whoever is teaching them. (And that kit's right about the bird dancing in the oven, right, people?)

[NotANeocon]

19. Students make suggestions

- T writes suggestions on whiteboard.