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I would so love to be retired. I feel so burnt out from work, but yet lucky to still be employed and wfh. I should really be grateful, which is why I am so confused about why I am so unhappy about my work situation. It's so much better than most. I hope you are ok and feel free to send me a PM if you need to talk.
I'm not doing well too
If you don't feel comfortable letting us know how you are doing, please feel free to PM me. Sometimes it helps to get things off your chest. I was reluctant even to post this, but I was kind of at a breaking point. I would be happy to chat w/ you privately.
I know that those things are exactly what I need! 
Unfortunately, we are in the middle of a major Nor'easter here, so a walk is probably out of the question for now, but on the other hand it is very pretty outside and kind of comforting in a way. As long as we don't lose power, I don't mind the storm.
I think what you said about not knowing that we aren't alone is the key thing. I think too many of us are isolated and think we are alone in our suffering, whether it is minor or major. Too many people are on social media apps like Facebook where everyone amps up their image and tries to make their life look so beautiful and happy and that is rarely reality. A majority of us are feeling much differently inside.
I guess I thought that is what I hoped to do with this post. To let others know that they are not alone if they are in pain and feeling isolated and that we can still connect through our words. We can still reach out to each other, even if we can't physically interact. 
That is very kind of you and those are wonderful suggestions. And I plan to do all those things and am looking quite forward to it. I think I really just need to restore myself and everything you mentioned is exactly what makes me happy!
I feel better already just from reading your post. I am very much looking forward to my time off and doing exactly what you have suggested! Wishing you and yours a happy and healthy holiday season!
It has been a very rough year and most of us have been holding our breath and now we finally feel like we can EXHALE. Which I suppose is healthy, but painful at the same time. There is so much we have pent up out of self-preservation and we finally feel like something that looks like salvation is in sight - The Biden Administration, the Covid vaccine, the New Year - there is finally something to look forward to.
Thank you for your response, I appreciate your kind words!
I have never been a soldier, nor through a war, physically. However, I do think in a way we may have experienced something similar, collectively. Which is why I thought maybe I was not the only one who might have felt traumatized in a way.
Thank you for your wise and kind words. They are very reassuring and all of you tonight have helped me greatly. I will be ecstatic upon the Biden inauguration. I am so looking forward to the restoration of sanity and normalcy in this country.
Thanks again, Aussie105! Best to you!
...jk 
You are right. Helping others does a world of good. I do need the break from work to restore myself, but communicating with others is something I cannot neglect during that time.
I have actually done something that I usually don't do which is ordering X-mas cards, however they are delayed because of the storm, but I will get them out even if late. I gave out a few holiday gifts to workers in my building today and they seemed happy to receive them (I still need to give them cash gifts, which I will do when my cards show up), so it made me happy to be able to put a smile on other people's faces. Sometimes, I think that is one of the greatest sources of happiness. To make someone else happy.
Thank you again for your kind and wise words. They are much appreciated. Wishing you a happy and healthy holiday! 
I am lucky to be retired and financially secure. Always been happy to spend time alone, but even given that, I'm tired of the isolation.
I am really feeling the approach to the end of my life. My next birthday I will be 70. By the first week in January I will be moved out of my downtown high rise apartment and into my new house which I decided to buy because I could see a paradigm change in life coming as a result of Covid.
I am so sorry to hear about your college friend. About 10 years ago, a high school friend jumped in front of a train. We were all stunned. She hadn't said anything to anyone and had always been an upbeat person. It's so hard to know sometimes what makes people commit suicide. My husband blew his brains out 2 years ago last Sunday and I do know why he did it, but that doesn't negate the mess that was left because of it.
This response to the coronavirus has been criminally mismanaged and now it is just coming out that it was intentional. Many of us have suspected as much for some time. We are not meant to all live in isolation and without support. It is bound to wear us down and make us feel fragile.
Take care of yourself first during your time off. What's the worst that can happen if you let things go for another couple of days and just renew yourself the best you can given the circumstances? Sleep in. Read a book. Listen to music. Bundle up and go for a walk outside (masked and socially distanced). Watch movies. Call friends.
Hang in there. Come talk to us, too, and confirm for yourself that you are not alone. Message me anytime.
I am so sorry to hear about your husband. How terrible for you! It is always such an awful thing. Death is always tragic, but suicide is an absolute disaster. I can understand it, as I have been there before myself (but have gratefully recovered), but it just messes up those who are left behind like nothing else can.
I so appreciate your suggestions. They sound like exactly what I want to do for my two weeks off. Thank you so much for your kindness!
I feel like I dread everything these days, don't feel up to dealing with much of anything. And I know that it's the primarily result of the hits that we get daily from the news, what's going on now is so horrific that it's unreal. I sometimes have a tough time believing that all this is going on, it often feels surreal, like a nightmare that we can wake up from and get back to "normal."
But the hits keep coming, every day there's a new jaw dropping stomach-wrenching revelation. Our security has been hacked, those responsible for our safety promoted people getting sick, and there are people across the country - even some in our neighborhoods - who believe the pandemic isn't real, are refusing to take precautions, refuse to accept the results of the election, and somehow inexplicably believe that the most unprepared, dishonest, vindictive and lawless POTUS in our history deserves more time to do his worst. 
So these are scary times - and the weather doesn't help. It would have been nice to have a summer, time to get out and enjoy ourselves, but many of us rarely left the house. So it's no big surprise that we're unusually anxious. It's been months since we've been able to relax. 
I haven't been in the V&M forum much lately so it's good to hear from you! Everything you said is completely spot on.
Now I am hearing that the federal government is slowing down the distribution of the vaccine to the states, and that is just one more thing to add to the pile. Whether it is due to their extreme incompetence or it's just another Trump/Kushner get-rich-quick scheme, it's going to slow everything down so much more than expected. I just can't WAIT for these grifters to be gone! 
I really enjoyed "50 Of The Best Reactions People Had To Trump Losing The Election". It made my early morning today. 
It's one of my favorite go-to sites! It's definitely mostly uplifting, especially the animal entries!
The humor and photography entries are great as well. Good plug! Everyone should check this site out at some point!
Some days I feel like there is not enough time in the day to do everything I need/want to do and other days I am bored out of my mind and nothing seems to appeal to me.
I'm glad you mentioned that, because it's the bored moments that are the most disturbing to me. It's because I think it is more of a state of mind rather than an actual lack of anything to do. Thank you for checking in!
Like living through an episode of the Twilight Zone or something. I think the relative normalcy we will experience during the Biden administration will snap us out of it and make us wonder how we could have tolerated such a nightmare for so long.
Given that the circumstances we are living through anything but normal, I think you are not alone in feeling out of sorts.
I agree with what you have said about tRump PTSD. This is a largely unspoken factor in our society & will affect us all for many years, I believe.
Your reaction to covid isolation & all that is going on sounds perfectly normal to me, tbh. And that you reached out to our community is something that I take as a good sign. Humans are herd manmals. We need interaction & validation from one another.
One suggestion beyong engaging in good self-care, including exercise, is to give Yale's free & very popular Science of Well Being a try.
These videos have been quite helpful to many folks. The topics presented are sound and can support a shift in perception that you might find refreshing. Here is a link:
https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being?utm_source=gg&utm_medium=sem&utm_campaign=01-BrandedSearch-US&utm_content=01-BrandedSearch-US&campaignid=380484307&adgroupid=102187343498&device=m&keyword=&matchtype=b&network=g&devicemodel=&adpostion=&creativeid=433079694377&hide_mobile_promo&gclid=CjwKCAiAoOz-BRBdEiwAyuvA603KRGXmjsX3Yk3DMewrHjPxvmAtUV-5gMSuGPwjkG5jBPdZxyrO6RoCQawQAvD_BwE
The first videos are available immediately upon registration. I have never received spam as a result of signing up which, in & of itself, is refreshing. Lol
I am glad you will have vacation time soon & hope that you can refresh and recharge your emotional batteries!
I hope the Yale course is helpful & always feel free to PM if you wish to chat.
That will be perfect to do over my vacation which will start at exactly 5pm tomorrow! Great suggestion!
I hope to enter 2021 feeling refreshed and with a hopefully better attittude and this will be perfect!
Yaaaaay! So glad you are going to do the course to recharge! 
My husband is here, and he is pretty laid-back. And we have a cat, Toby. We both feel as you do, at times.
We decorated for Christmas, although no one else will be here to see it. It is important to do as many normal things as possible.
It helps to try to do something every day, something to keep the house neat and orderly. Clutter makes things worse, at least for me.
It helps to try to have purpose. We are sending postcards to Georgia voters. We stay in touch with our Democratic central committee and with the activist group we are a part of. We have a conference call with them every week.
Even as I type, I know that you and I are feeling the same things, often on a daily basis.
We will get through this!
You are doing all the right things and I think what you and your husband are doing - sending postcards to Georgia voters, staying in touch w/ your Dem and activist groups is really positive and life affirming!
I am hoping that having a two week break will just give me the time and energy I need to explore things outside of work that make me excited about life again. I think I am just going through some serious burnout.
Thank you for your input!
Thank you for your kindness in responding.
I think that was the whole point of my post. I suspected others might be feeling this way and I thought if we all comissserated, it might help us all feel less isolated and alone and give each other the boost we need to slog through until January 20th.
We'll get there! I have a feeling that Trump is losing power by the day.
During the day, I cycle though a lot of emotions and feel off balance. Calls to friends and relatives and staying on a schedule of doing things have helped me. I have a semi-feral mom cat and her kittens from the past 3 years that l feed and care for that live in my garage. the kittens are 2 1/2 years old (2), 15 months (3), 8 months (4), and 7 weeks (2). They keep me busy and sane, at least I think they do. 
to help you through these times. One of my biggest regrets about missing the holidays w/ my family is not seeing their dogs, who I just love to pieces. Nothing makes me happier than being around them. Animals are our angels here on earth! 
Good to hear from you! I feel especially bad for you, because I know how much you depend on traveling for your job and how much you and your wife enjoy your trips. I am glad that you are both getting to spend some time with your daughter and granddaughters.
Glad to hear Europe is as relieved as we are about getting rid of Trump, but I don't think we will finally be able to exhale until noon on Jan 20th. It's shocking to hear about Germany's fatality rate from Covid. That is really staggering. However, as you say, knowing that one is doing their part to ease the burden on our already overloaded healthcare workers and people on the front lines helps to give one a feeling that you are making a small sacrifice for a greater good for all of society in the long run, and that is worth something. We will all hopefully make it through this annus horribilis and wake up in 2021 with some renewed hope for the future.
Interesting story about organized crime coming from Eastern Europe. Why is the government there so unwilling to crack down on this type of crime? I have never been a hardcore law and order person, but this seems like something that needs to be nipped in the bud by stiffer penalties or sentences. I am sure Germany like most countries is hurting from the lack of tourist dollars and, if left unchecked, this kind of thing could really keep the economy depressed once the word gets out. Not to mention the fact that German citizens must feel terrorized by these cretins.
Anyway, thanks for your reply and wishing you and your lovely family a happy and healthy holiday season!
I am always interested to hear about what is going on in Europe, and your scoops are always filled with engrossing detail!
I especially liked your story at the end! 
I will try that once I get some X-mas cash and gift cards. I think I can order through Whole Foods, so I will try it.
I drink a lot of cold brewed iced tea, thinking the small amount of caffiene will give me energy, but what I really need is something to calm my mind. I also make this Organic India Tulsi (Holy Basil) Sweet Rose Iced Tea, which is herbal and supposed to be very stress relieving, but I mix it w/ a few black tea bags for a more "tea" taste, as it is entirely herbal.
Great suggestion!
I think it has been helping, I have definitely felt less anxious. However, it also helps that Trump has lost and I have been on vacation for the past two weeks. Although I have been staying up till all hours of the morning and then sleeping until mid afternoon, so my internal clock is definitely off.
And Trump's latest shenanigans are certainly making me a bit nervous, but not nearly as bad as I was before the election. I just can't wait until he is GONE! And hopefully in prison very soon!
Thanks again and Happy New Year! 
Yep, that's pretty much it, minus the kids! 
I worry all the time about shortages, health care professionals and essential workers just up and quitting because they have had enough, just the general breakdown of the social order. I have to just not let myself go to the "What ifs", and take things a day at a time.
Escape escapism... into the great black hole of neverland.
I love old or funny movies, watching old (or recent) SNL skits or wasting my time on totally pointless, but entertaining website. Whatever gets us by!
And welcome to DU!
I do listen to different meditation videos at night and they help to calm me down. Thanks again for your suggestion!
You are right, but the time just seems to be going by so slowly, doesn't it? However, I know we will get there and it will be so refreshing to have a nice long holiday break.
I appreciate your input and kindness!
The only good thing is that things like this only happen once every hundred years or so, so the chances that we will have to go through this again in our lifetimes is slim to none.
If you read this whole thread, people have offered a lot of great suggestions, and for me, I tend to escape by watching funny movies, old screwball comedies or humerous videos on You Tube. Anything that can make me laugh even for a few minutes can turn my mood around. It also helps to talk to people and just express your frustration, just to know that you are not alone. Just unload, whether it's online or on the phone. There is a saying I heard once, "Pain shared is halved", and I find that it's true.
And this thread has proved me right. Not just because people have so kindly responded to me (and I have found myself smiling through almost all of these messages, barely even aware of it until I realized my cheeks were a little tense) but because I can also offer my experiences and suggestions of help back to others. It can be very transformative. Also, just feeling gratitude to know that someone has taken the time to offer advice or kind words can be very life affirming as well. I must say, it has pretty much snapped me out of my funk to a large extent.
I wish you all the best and I hope your situation improves. Please reach out to the DU community if you need to and are so inclined. These are some of the best people I have ever encountered and I guarantee the risk of opening up will be well worth it.
And I think you are so right about the end of this long nightmare and the beginning of the Biden/Harris administration and the promise of a vaccine for Covid. 2021 will start with HOPE, and that is more than we have had in a long time.
For so long, it has just seemed like one body blow after another with no end in sight. If I am honest, I would have to say I did not really think we would pull this off. Only because they are such evil, corrupt, ruthless, cheating fascists. However, the majority of the decent people of the US have had their say and we stopped this nightmare in its tracks.
If that doesn't give us something to be hopeful for, I don't know what would. I think this, like most things, will pass. But while we are going through it, I am glad we have each other to go through it together.
Cheers, Aussie 105! 
Honestly, I do. I think this past four years has done a lot of damage to all of us who are thinking, feeling, compassionate people who care about society and the world at large. A lot of our illusions have been shattered and that has broken us in places that we are still not even aware of yet.
I think it will be a little touch and go for a while, but I do think with the Biden/Harris inauguration and an effective vaccine for this virus, we have a lot to be grateful for and finally, some hope for the foreseable future. Feel free to IM me if you need to talk. I related to your last sentence completely. I wish you a peaceful and relaxing evening.
It makes me realize that none of us can get through tough times on our own, even though I tend to be an extreme introvert and pride myself on my independence.
I think this thread has taught me and shown all of us just how powerful the strength of community can be and how compassion and understanding can turn someone's situation around in a very short time. I would challenge anyone on this board to read through this thread and not admit that we have a truly wonderful, special group of people here.
Best to you, dameatball!
You make a good point, and I agree with you. I think the lack of light exposure and decreased activity could definitely have a big effect on our moods.
Other than taking SSRIs or SSNRIs, I think it helps to supplement one's diet w/ vitamin D (low levels due to lack of sunlight exposure) and taking melatonin in the evening to keep circadian rhythms on track. However, it is best to eat a healthy balanced diet and get as much exercise as possible to stay physically and mentally healthy during these dark months. I finally got an exercise bike (which I need to have someone set up for me) so that I can stay active in the winter - and even during hot summer days.
Thank you for your post! This was very helpful and I think a lot of people suffer from this who may not be aware of it.
I can understand it, I have been through periods before where I have felt like the s**t was hitting the fan all at once, physically - especially at a certain age. It can really mess w/ your head.
I have been taking an SSNRI - Cymbalta - for years and it has been a lifesaver for me. Even though I can get low moods, like recently, it is NOTHING compared to what things used to be like before I was on an antidepressant. I really hope you find something that works for you and I wish you all the best. If the first thing doesn't work, keep trying. It took me a while to get the right combination/formula worked out. Just don't give up and feel free to IM me if you have any questions about my experience w/ medication. I am not a doctor, but I can share with you the benefit of my experience.
Very interesting story about your dentist! I think this is newsworthy and should be talked about more. I constantly notice throughout the day when I am working or even after work when I am reading the news or even DU that my jaw is clenched tightly and my teeth are just jammed together in my mouth. I know that it's stress because it was never a thing before the Trump years.
Take care and I wish you all the best!
(an old curse)
Hope your vacations is restful and restores your balance
I have a feeling it will.
I have everything i need, I am still employed. I have a great family and nice friends (whom I haven't seen in ages) and good healthcare.
However, I have been eating cheese and crackers for meals, chores are going by the wayside, and even personal hygiene is an effort to keep up. I manage the bare minimum, but I never go on camera in Zoom meetings because I can't be bothered with dressing up or putting on makeup. I just put my hair up in a tucked ponytail. Occasionally I have to, but I really hate it.
I am going to treat myself to a thorough apartment cleaning for Christmas (I do it about 3 or 4 times a year) since they do a much more thorough job than I do. My diswasher doesn't work (never has) so I "soak" my dishes in the sink for a few days. I just keep running really hot water and put dish soap in them and then do it over again a few times and by the time I get around to washing them, they are almost pretty much clean. Basically, like you, I have no motivation.
I think these are the symptoms of depression. They don't always manifest in the same way in everyone. Are you ok? Do you see a therapist or have you seen a doctor about this? You don't have to answer here. Feel free to IM me if you want. I have mentioned upthread that I see a maintenance therapist and also take antidepressant medication and they both help a lot, but I'm just in a bit of a slump. Still, even my worst days these days are so much better than they were when I was acutely suffering from depression. There was nothing worse than that.
Take care, dear and please let me know how you are doing.
I do see a therapist and I take an antidepressant that works for me. However, it doesn't seem to be doing its job well lately. I think I feel the way you do. I totally agree that this isn't the nightmare that severe depression is. I know I'll come out the other side. The question is; when?
Yes. Me, too.
I've taKEN to purPOSEly putTING the emPHAsis on the wrong sylLAble when I speak.
Honestly. Shaking it up and thinking outside the box is a good way to escape the confines of our limited perspective. 
I so know the feeling, but I do think things will get better. Just read through this thread and see all the hope and suggestions that the great people here have offered and know that you can reach out to us at anytime, if not publicly then privately.
You are actually quite productive compared to me. I work during the day, but I use that as an excuse to be a total slacker the rest of the time. I would love to have a dog! I am finally living in a building that allows dogs, and if I could wfh forever I would definitely consider it, but I don't have a lot of disposable income for vet care and I would always want to make sure that I could afford a surgery or emergency care if needed. I would take dog parentship very seriously. Having a dog would be my dream.
As far as the food goes, I either don't eat much at all or I am hungry all day. It kind of balances out, although I really don't do much cooking anymore since I get tired of cleaning up. Lots of cheese, crackers and fruit for meals. I keep in touch w/ friends and family by phone and that helps keep me sane. I do miss them, but I am not willing to take the risk to see them in person right now. I just don't trust anyone enough.
You have the right idea with the DVD's. Books and movies are saving me through this. The internet helps too, but sometimes I think it is good to take a break from the screen and turn toward other sources of media. Hang in there! Things will get better soon!
I find it helps a lot.
Yesterday we got hit by the snowstorm. Today the sun came out and reflected off the snow. I went out to clear off the car, and it was such a mood lifter to be surrounded by such brightness.
I think many of us feel anxious about what might happen between now and Jan. 20.
Here at DU, we're lucky to have one another.
We also got hit pretty hard here in Boston by the storm, however it is very pretty and Christmassy. Is that a word? Not sure, but anyway, it's very festive.
What part of the country are you from? I am assuming somewhere in the northeast since you got hit with the storm. It is very easy to appreciate the beauty when you don't have to struggle with the miserable morning commute and the wet and slushy slog back home.
Can't wait until Jan 20th, we are all waiting until that day until we can finally exhale, but I think we will make it.
And you are absolutely right about DU! We are all so lucky to have each other!
western suburbs of DC. We ended up with about 2 inches because the rain melted a lot of the snow before freezing. Last winter we didn't get any snow. I'm not a snow lover - driving in it terrifies me.
Only 32 days until Trexit!
Here's a countdown page
https://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/to?csz=1&iso=20210120T00&msg=Time+left+until+Trump+leaves+office&p0=263
You have way too much on your plate and if your sister is 77, I would assume that you are close in age to her. That is just too great a burden for someone of your age - or any age - to assume. Is there any way you could contact a social services organization that could help you?
I do think you need help. Such a responsibility is much too great for one person, especially if that person is a senior citizen. My heart breaks for you. I wish there was something I could do. Would you feel comfortable reaching out to the DU community for suggestions? There are many people here with great ideas and advice and they might come up with things that you hadn't thought of before.
I feel guilty complaining about boredom. I have nothing to complain about. There are people here who are social workers, in government, law, heathcare, etc. who could offer you advice. If you are ok with it, perhaps start a post and ask for advice. People were so kind when i have reached out and I have seen it with others.
I wish you all the best!
I'm 57. I was widowed at 37... Life just didn't turn out like we'd planned. This time of year is hard for a lot of us.
Take care.
Covid vaccine is in the visible future, probably before summer. An actual president is about to assume the office. I'm thinking of making hotel reservations for a July road trip (realizing that I might have to cancel, like I did last summer).
I'm feeling good.
I'm even planning a get-together for Christmas (via Zoom).
For some of us, it takes everything we have just to get through the day between Covid, isolation, Trump's madness and the fear of what he might do, and just the unknown and the past four years of trauma.
Go easy on yourself and reach out and talk to people as much as possible. As you can see here, a lot of us feel like we are in the exact same boat. Take care and hopefully 2021 will be a much better year!
It's going to seem like an eternity until the 20th, but at least we have each other here at DU! I am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow after a two week vacation either, because like you, we are going to hit the ground running and it won't let up again until a few weeks in the summer when people go on vacation. I'm just glad we can still WFH.
Take care of yourself and check in to let us know how you are doing!
One day at a time, or even one minute at a time. Laugh at whatever you can. Help whomever you can. Grieve as you need to. Cry when you want to. Have faith that things will get better.
I hope you are feeling better too. How are you doing today?
We aren't quite out of the woods yet. Hopefully once Trump is out of office and both doses of the vaccine have been distributed and recieved, things will start looking up, but it will take a few months.
Until then, I am glad you are under the care of a doctor who is monitoring your medication and that you know when it's time to check in with them. I hope you start feeling better soon!
