Presenting: Phentex's Inauguration Day Executive Orders...

[Phentex]

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

Part One: The Kitchen

All persons aged 12 and older who use items in the kitchen, including but not limited to, flatware, dishes, cookware, glassware, cups, appliances, serving bowls, mixing bowls, pot and pans, skillets and any item used to prepare food in any way or used to consume food shall be responsible for the cleaning and returning of the item to the location where it was found. Placing in dishwasher is permissible if applicable. The use of disposable items subject to recycling fee.

All persons must wipe up and dispose of spills, crumbs, fingerprints and splashes from any surface including counter tops, floors and microwave.

Any person found to have left less than two tablespoons of a non-condiment liquid in the refrigerator shall be fined. Payment of the fine includes cleaning all appliances and the inside of the refrigerator.

Personal items left on counters, table, chairs, shelves or other surfaces in the kitchen will be removed after one week without prejudice to replacement cost or sentimental value.

Exceptions to the above in the case of injury or illness will be considered on a case-by-case basis and does not take effect until the exception is granted. Proof of illness may be required.

Next Up: The Bathroom...