The DU Lounge

AmyStrange

(7,989 posts) Wed Jan 20, 2021, 11:17 PM Jan 2021

(Very, Very Long) Barack and Michelle meet AmyStrange (the talking Cat)...

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Hidden deep in the woods of Pennsylvania, in a secret underground facility, the President and First Lady arrange to meet AmyStrange...

We were up before six, and I was
wondering where the Cat was, when the
sirens went off, and I must’ve jumped a
foot off the floor.

Beth pulled her guns and ran out
into the hall.

“What the hell are you doing?” I
yelled and chased after her.

Everyone else joined us, as the
lights flashed on, and then off for a
minute, in sync with the pulsating
siren, and then everything went quiet.

We were all wondering what the
hell that was, when the Director
entered and apologized, “Sorry, I
forgot to tell you about that.”

“Did the world just blow up,”
Rhonda asked, with a small little evil
grin, “and we’re the only survivors,
right?”

“No, nothing that bad,” the
Director replied with a chuckle. “It’s
just our way of alerting everyone that
the President has arrived.”

“That’s a hell of a doorbell,” Pee
Wee said, and everyone laughed, except
Zack, Jack, and Randy.

I couldn’t see them or the Cat
anywhere.

“Where’s Amy, and Zack and Jack,
and Randy too?” I asked, “Where’d they
all go?”

The Director explained that the
President wanted to meet with them
first, “but he’ll be ready to meet with
the rest of you in about fifteen
minutes, before we go out to the firing
range,” he said, and then explained
that we were to leave our guns behind,
“except you, Beth.”

“The Secret Service isn’t too
crazy about you having any, but the
President insisted on watching your
demonstration, and they have no
choice,” the Director added, and then
chuckled, “Even though the Agents, who
were there last night, backed you up,
the rest of them still don’t believe
it, and to be honest, I was there, and
I still can’t believe it.”

I can certainly understand that,
because even though I’ve seen her do it
more than three dozen times, I still
can’t believe it either.

“It is pretty amazing,” Mouse
agreed, “and I don’t think there’s
anyone in the world that can shoot like
her.”

“Is the First lady going to be
there?” Beth asked, and she didn’t look
too comfortable with all this
attention.

“She will,” the Director replied,
“and she also specifically asked to
meet with you and your Fiancé.”

He looked at his watch and added,
“But right now, you all have a few
minutes, and I suggest you use that
time to grab a quick breakfast in the
Comm Room. The rest of your day is
going to be very busy,” and then he was
gone.

The table in there was already set
up with pitchers of milk, orange juice,
and of course, coffee. There was a pile
of individually boxed brand-name
cereals in the middle, along with
bananas, bowls, and spoons for
everyone.

Beth and I both grabbed the
shredded wheat because we both loved
it.

We were almost done, when a couple
Secret Service Agents came in and set
up shop at the other entrance.

Once they were set up, a whole
mess of other people came in, and in
the center was Zack, Jack, and Randy,
with the Director at the very back.

The Cat was sitting on someone’s
shoulder that I didn’t recognize at
first, but then realized it was the
President, and the First Lady was right
beside him, and they were chatting and
laughing with the Cat.

When I first recognized him, my
hands shook a little, but the way he
looked so comfortable with everyone and
not so stuffy, like I thought he’d be,
I relaxed a little.

Let me tell you, Doc, when you see
someone live and in person, that you’ve
only seen on TV, they look a lot
different. On TV, they looked
unreachable and special, but in person,
they look more like the rest of us,
like someone you’d see riding the bus.

The First Lady nudged her husband,
and then pointed at Beth.

He nodded and they came over,
surrounded by four Agents. One of them,
I recognized from last night.

Should I stand up, I thought, and
I started to, but the President said,
“Please, sit, sit, and finish your
breakfast. We’ll only be a minute. I
promise.”

We all stood up anyway.

The First Lady smiled at this and
added, “We just wanted to meet you,
before your demo,” and then actually
gave Beth a hug.

Beth froze for one second, but
then hugged her back.

She pushed Beth away, and then
held her at arms-length, before adding,
“It’s nice to meet you, Beth, and also
all the rest of you.”

She gave me a hug next, and then
Pee Wee, Mouse, and finally Darryl.

Ever the sophisticated gentleman,
he also kissed her hand, and I think
she actually blushed.

When she came to Rhonda and
Stephanie, she grabbed them both, and
hugged them for more than a minute.

Rhonda didn’t look too comfortable
at first, but Stephanie immediately
wrapped her arms around the First
Lady’s neck.

After she whispered something to
her, tears began streaming down
Stephanie’s face, and she hugged her
even tighter.

Bowser merely sniffed at
everyone’s shoes again, probably
looking for trouble, and then went back
to sleep, curling up near Stephanie.

His duty was done.

The President followed the First
Lady around and shook everyone’s hands.

The Cat was still on his
shoulders, giving him her personal
commentary about each of us.

She went on and on about how
special Beth was, and then added, “and
don’t you even think about hurting her,
because then I’ll be forced to hurt you
back, and nobody wants that.”

“You can count on me there, Amy. I
have no intention of hurting her in the
least.”

“You know what, Barack baby? I
believe you, and this one’s special
too,” the Cat said, and pointed at me.

“He’s my best buddy, and everyone
else here is too, even if they are
humans,” she added, “and you know how
much I hate humans.”

“Yes, I understand your
disaffection towards our species, but
like I said, not all of us are like
that.”

“Well, I really can’t argue with
that, but you’d better get that
Congress of yours cleaned up, because I
heard a bunch of clowns were running
things, and that can’t be good.”

The President and First Lady
chuckled at this, but didn’t add
anything, and even a couple Agents
smiled, including the Director.

After that, the President made a
little speech.

“This is the most amazing
investigative team that we’ve ever
met,” he said, put his arm around the
First Lady, “and we can’t even begin to
express how proud we are of everything
that you’ve done, but also, do know,
that you have our full support, and if
you ever need any kind of assistance
from us, please, don’t even hesitate
for a second to ask.”

He went on and on like that for
about ten minutes, with his arm around
the First Lady, and the Cat sleeping on
his shoulders, before finally telling
us, “Again, thank you,” and then
chuckled before adding, “and you’d
think I’d be sick of making speeches,
but even when I only have a couple
words to say, somehow they always turn
into a long speech.”

The First Lady nudged the Cat a
little, whispered something to her, and
then added with a small laugh, “That
was short compared to some of them,
hon.”

“It’s a hard habit to break,” he
admitted.

“He even does it, when we’re
alone,” she whispered loudly, and
everyone laughed, except the Agents,
who were trying hard not to smile.

I had to admire them for that,
because keeping the First Family safe
must be one hell of a tough job, and
not being able to laugh, just makes it
that much tougher; although, a couple
of them did smile again, and that must
be ok, because the Director was also
smiling.

“Please, finish your breakfast,
and we’ll see you out on the firing
range in a few minutes,” he said, with
the Cat whispering something in his
ear.

He laughed, and then they were
gone, surrounded by their posse, and
the two who were guarding the other
door.

Before the Director left, he told
us to be out on the firing range in ten
minutes

That was some wild ass shit, I
thought, but instead asked Randy, “What
were Amy and the President talking
about? You were there.”

“Mostly politics,” he replied and
grabbed some coffee, “but I have to
admit, she’s pretty knowledgeable about
our political history.”

“You can thank Beth for that,” I
said and explained about her little
history class after we watched the
Night of the Living Dead, and that
reminded me.

“What were you guys thinking
giving her a link to that anti-human
website?” I asked Zack and Jack, and
before they had a chance to answer,
Mouse backed me up.

“That’s a good question, because I
checked it out myself, and it’s just
one long chronological list of every
evil deed we’ve ever done...”

“That’s true,” Beth interrupted,
“and it doesn’t even list one good
thing either, but rather, goes on and
on... and I even clicked on one of the
events, and...” she started to say, but
then waved her hand, like she was
refusing something, “No, I really don’t
think you want to know.”

“I read one of them,” Mouse added,
“and she’s right. It was disgusting.”

They were both right. Each event
had a long list of those killed,
maimed, raped or even just injured, and
then went into the tiniest detail about
how each one sustained their injury, or
how they were raped, and if they died,
their last words, and also what was
done to the body afterwards, with lots
of photos and drawings.

If the website owners didn’t know,
they’d speculate, and sometimes it’d be
like they’d stolen some of my worst
fantasies and put them down as fact.

It was pretty much worse than
disgusting.

“Well, to tell you the truth,”
Jack said, “we didn’t send her that
link.”

“No, our AI program did,” Zack
said, and then added, “although, I
think learning about our bad side was
better than thinking that she could
trust everybody.”

“That does make sense,” Beth said
thoughtfully.

“Bartholomew did a good job of
that all by himself,” I added, “but I
agree, it does make sense.”

“Your AI program?” Rhonda asked.
“Does that mean, what I think it does?”

“Yeah, is it becoming sentient?”
Pee Wee asked.

That’s what I was wondering too,
but I couldn’t remember the right word,
sentient.

“Is that a good thing, because...”
I started, but Beth grabbed my hand.

“Please, hon, don’t,” she pleaded.

I was disappointed, but Zack
wanted to know what that meant, and of
course, what that meant was, I got to
explain my talking cats taking over the
world theory, ending with, “and having
a sentient AI program around, based on
a cat’s psychology, ain’t gonna help us
at all.”

“Did you embed Asimov’s rules into
it,” Rhonda asked.

“First thing we did,” Jack
replied.

“Asimov?” Darryl asked. “Are you
talking about Isaac Asimov, the
author?”

Rhonda nodded her head, “Most
computer experts agree that his rules
from I, Robot are legitimate and should
be applied to all programs that may
even have the slightest chance of
becoming sentient.”

“She’s right,” Zack agreed, “and
basically, they revolve around the idea
that any robot, or AI program, should
do no harm to any human.”

“And also do everything within its
power to save a human life,” Jack
added.

Darryl nodded, “Those are good
rules.”

“How is sending her that link
saving our lives?” I had to ask, but
looked at the clock, nudged Beth and
said, “Our ten minutes are up, guys.”

Everyone started to get up, and
Beth’s eyes got wild for one fraction
of a second, but then she took a deep
breath and was as confident as ever.

I don’t know how she does it
because I’d be out of my gourd with
excitement, worry and also just plain
jittery as a squirrel.

Your audience doesn’t get much
bigger than the First Family.

Of course, I didn’t say any of
this to Beth. She’s probably got enough
shit on her mind already.

I just smiled and tried to also
look confident, but I remembered what
she said after yesterday’s demo, and if
she was going to mess up, this’d be the
worst time in history to do it.

The Director came to get us, and
on the way, Beth grabbed my arm and
whispered, “I know you’re worried,
Spinner, but don’t be. I’ve got this
one.”

“I know you do Gunner, but after
what you said yesterday...” I started
to say, but she interrupted me.

“Gunner?” she asked, chuckled, and
then added, “Ok, that’s funny.”

We arrived at our spot, and
besides our team, it looked like about
twenty-four people were there to watch,
including the First Family and
Director.

As soon as she saw us, the Cat
said something to the President, jumped
down and ran to join us.

“That was fun,” she said, and to
Beth, added, “Now, pull their pants
down!”

Beth laughed, the Director passed
around the target for everyone to
examine, and then asked that Agent,
from last night, if Beth could borrow
his cap again.

He took it out of his back pocket,
placed it over her eyes again, and then
the Director handed the target to the
President and asked, “Would you like to
do the honors, sir?”

He was glad to, and with the help
of four Agents, put the target up, and
then wished Beth luck.

From the minute we entered, the
four Agents kept their eyes on her the
whole time, probably waiting for her to
start shooting at them.

I could almost tell who the guys
from last night were because they were
the only ones smiling, while the others
looked both wary and skeptical, like
they knew better than those guys.

Ha, I laughed in my head and spun
Beth around.

I hate to admit it now, Doc, but
while that target was coming back, I
was actually holding my breath, but it
was all just a waste of time.

Smiles turned to smugs, while the
others muttered under their breath, and
I even heard one say, “That was the
fastest draw I ever saw,” and then add,
“It was like lightning.”

That’s a good description, I
thought, while holding my breath.

Two Agents came running from the
back, whispered something to the
Director, and he in turn whispered to
the President.

They shared it with everyone else,
and the mutterings got louder.

Once again, the Director asked the
President to do the honors, and once
again, he and four other guys were glad
to help.

The President looked at the
target, and then at Beth, who’d already
put her guns back, but the hat was
still over her eyes.

I pulled it up a little and kissed
her, but when the President looked back
at the target, that’s when I started
breathing again.

She’d done it, Doc! She’d fucking
done it, and damn it, I was so ashamed
of myself for even doubting her, but
then I had to laugh when she whispered,
“Whew. I had my doubts there too,
Spinner.”

The Agents surrounding the
President were always looking around
and checking things out, without
looking like it, but when the President
said, “Perfect,” they forgot all about
that for one second, and they all
turned in amazement to look.

“I’ve been told by my most trusted
military advisors, that this was
impossible, but wait until I get a
hold of those guys,” he chuckled, and
then asked if he could keep it.

“Of course,” she said, but when he
asked her to sign it, all she could say
after a couple seconds was, “Uhm...”

An Agent handed her a pen, and
then the target, and that brought her
back to Earth.

“I’ll be happy to,” she said,
signed it, and then handed it back,
before adding, “It’s just so weird,
because I should be the one asking
you.”

“I also get that same feeling
around celebrities,” he said, “but I’ll
make sure all of you have something
before I leave,” and then shook
everybody’s hand again, and the First
Lady also gave us all hugs again, and
then they were gone.
=========