Best "little old lady" story I've heard in a year

[DFW]

My wife saw this somewhere, and I had to share it.

Somewhere in America, an old lady went up to a bank teller and asked to withdraw $500 in cash from her account. The snotty teller told her that the amount was too small to serve her at the counter, and she would have to go to an ATM machine. She said she didn't have a card, had no pin number, and her eyesight wasn't what it once was. The teller remained unmoved, and said the amount was too small to serve her at the counter.

The old lady then said, OK, then she would like to withdraw all that she had in her account in cash. The teller then asked how much that was. The old lady gave her account number, and the shocked teller saw that she had two and a half million dollars in her account. The teller said they didn't have that much on hand. She asked how much they did have, and the teller, after consulting with the manager, said $300,000. She said, well OK, then I want to withdraw $300,000.

Since she was willing to do it all legally, giving her ID, etc., they got the $300,000 in cash together at the counter. She then took $500 of it, put it in her purse, and then said she would like to make a deposit into her account. A cash deposit--in the amount of $299,500.

I have no idea if the story is true or not, but it's a great story!

[Demobrat]

1. I hope it's not true

That’s too much money to have in one bank account.
Only $250,000 is insured.

I know. I’m being a killjoy.

Apologies.

[DFW]

18. Can one expect a humble old lady to be bothered to keep ten separate bank accounts?

Just to be insured to the max at all of them? Of keep $2,250,000 in cash under her mattress?

At some point, you just have to have a little faith in the system, or else get a safe-deposit box and fill it with Krugerrands.

[KG]

2. my little old lady mom went to her small town bank of 30ish years to help her grandson

who was in the military, buy his first vehicle. they turned her down. (she owned her house outright FFS)

she immediately closed all her accounts, went across the street, where the other small town bank gladly helped her out.

[DFW]

19. Good for her!

Once, when my elder daughter was spending a semester of high school in the States, I went to my bank there and set up a credit card for her for incidental expenses, and had them deduct the charges from my account. Or so I thought. After two months, she got threatening notes from the credit card company (VISA? I forget) for non-payment. I called up their 800 number in the USA and asked what the problem was.

The problem was that the bank had miscommunicated to info about the automatic debt to its VISA department. I told them that it wasn't my fault. They said, well, if I would pay the late charges ($86 or some such), then they would do the automatic debit from there on in. I gave them my account number and a counter proposal, giving them two options. First option: they wiped out the late charges, instituted the automatic debt that I had set up in the first place, and the affair is ended. Second option: I pay the late charges, all accounts of mine and those of my family are gone from their bank forever in a day, and the story appears prominently in the Dallas Morning News within 48 hours.

They went for option number one.

[mainer]

3. You never know what a rich person looks like

My relative went into the bank to say that his deposit receipt (he'd neglected to look at it until a day after he made the deposit) was off by a few zeros and he wanted to make sure they had added the right amount to his account. The teller laughed him out of the bank. As my relative was walking out to his car, determined to transfer his money to another bank, the teller came running out, profusely apologizing.

No, my relative does not dress "rich." He does not "look" rich. But he is.

[DFW]

21. That goes double in Texas

In Dallas, some people ride around in Rolls Royces and dress in ten thousand dollar outfits, but others who are just a rich or richer drive around in 5 year old Toyotas and wear jeans, feeling no particular to flaunt their wealth.

[csziggy]

28. That is very true - years ago a friend was a door to door vacuum cleaner salesman

In Quincy, Florida - an itty bitty town that back then was in a mostly farming county.

One day he stopped by a farm and talked to the old black man driving a tractor in the field. He told the man what he was selling and the man said to go talk to his wife. When she was impressed with the vacuum she went out to talk to her husband. My friend told them he could take a down payment and set up a payment plan, but the old man said he always paid in full. Problem was, he couldn't read a contract, or write a check.

The old man told my friend to drive down to the local bank and to talk to a certain bank officer. By the time my friend got to the bank, the old man had called in and authorized payment. Now these were expensive vacuums - $500 or more - so my friend was curious how this old dirt farmer was able to pay in full for it.

The bank officer told him that a lot of the black farmers in that area had been sold stock in Coca Cola back when it was first incorporated. They didn't really understand what the stock was, so they put it in the bank and the bank officers of that little bank took care of them - they collected the dividends and authorized payments. The bank officer told my friend that some of those old dirt farmers were millionaires, since they seldom spent much of their money - most spent it sending their children to college.

Now that area is more prosperous, but I will always remember that story.

[Joinfortmill]

4. Love it

[grantcart]

5. In Thailand a little old lady had owned some land in the center of Bangkok

and sold most of it and gave $ 100,000 to each of her children (who were all doing well) and put aside enough to live on the rest of her life.

She gathered about $ 250,000 into a paper bag and got on the bus to meet the mayor.

At that time the Mayor was a Buddhist Layman who lived an ascetic life with his wife. They had lived for years under vows of celibacy and poverty. Their home had no walls so anyone could take anything he owned, which wasn't much. Someone gave him an old car and TV to use.

He ran a large restaurant that gave free meals to the poor and the profits were used to house and care for thousands of abandoned dogs.

The lady waited until the mayor returned from lunch handed him the bag and asked him to give it to the poor and returned home on a bus.

True story.

The mayor Chamlong Srimuang has a Wiki page.He inspired many to work for the poor. The act of the old lady was widely reported at the time.

[TheRickles]

6. Reminds me of Jack Nicholson in "Five Easy Pieces".

He wanted to order a couple of slices of toast at the diner, but the waitress said that they didn't have that on the menu. So he ordered a BLT on toast (which was on their menu), and then he told the waitress to hold the bacon, the lettuce and the tomato. He got his toast!

[3Hotdogs]

9. Close, but the scene was even better than that.

"Give me a chicken sandwich on toasted bread with butter and hold the chicken."

Waitress: "What'a want me to do with the chicken?"

JN: "Why don't you put it between your legs?"

Waitress -actress got an obituary in the N.Y. Times for that scene.

------ aw, what the hell....

When I was a 'ute, ( 50's) there was a diner in town. Helen was the waitress, probably in her late 60's and worn down from years of waitressing.
She had a way of hissing through her teeth when something frustrated her or pissed her off. The game was to generate the "hiss."

Wednesday was pea soup day. Ritchie and I were at the counter.....

Richie: " Gimme a bowl of chicken noodle."

Helen: "We ain't got chicken soup today, we got pea soup."

Richie: "Ok, hold the chicken and make it pee."

Phyllis: "Hissss."

Today, I would have had a lot more sympathy for Helen.

[TheRickles]

14. Thanks. I should have done my research first!

Good story about you and Ritchie. I'm sure Helen looked forward to your regular visits.

Here's the Nicholson scene (for you true movie nerds out there in DU Land, it was chicken salad, to be held between her knees!):

[link:http://

&ab_channel=Movieclips|

[ironflange]

27. Here's a Photoshop I did for Cracked a long time ago

I am a pianist, so I love this movie.

[MiHale]

7. They are all over the place...

To see Lloyd was an exercise in empathy, to know Lloyd was both a blessing and a commitment of secrecy to him.

Tall at over six foot, wide across the shoulders and a girth that was an homage to his favorite brew, he was an imposing figure. His daily uniform of choice was bib overalls that were a tad too short covering a faded well washed flannel shirt ending with scuffed and lightly tattered work boots that appeared too small for his feet. He raised horses and looked every inch of a “just getting by” Michigan rural rancher.

Not many shared his secret. How could they?

When Lloyd was in need he shopped for his clothes at rummage sales or the local “donation” store.
If he could get his foot into the boot, maybe struggling a bit, it didn’t matter if the boot was too small, if the “new” overalls were worn and slightly ripped, if the flannel shirt he picked out had a hole in the pocket, he didn’t use it anyway. Lloyd could outfit himself with work clothes yearly for around forty dollars.

Bet you guessed by now Lloyd was rich. Not only rich,but wealthy, worth a few million dollars.
If you saw him you’d never have guessed correctly.

[mopinko]

10. there are a lot like him.

i have a fair ampunt of money which i accumulated by not giving a shit what other ppl think.
i do insist on my shoes fitting, tho.

[black-bear]

8. Mother nature

Don't fool with Mother Nature. She always have a plan

[DFW]

22. It's never nice to fool Mother Nature

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

11. If I were that little old lady, I would have immediately taken my business to another bank n/t

In the 1990s, DEC, then the second largest computer company in the US, tried to screw the company I was then working for out of $82,500, because of a problem with some computers they had sold us. The Chief Information Officer decided to replace those systems with other computers (for a cost of about $750,000 -- and yes, he had no problem justifying the switch) and announced at the meeting where this was decided that Digital Equipment Corporation would not be invited to bid on the contract.

Because of crap like this -- and a number of really bad business decisions -- DEC no longer exists.

[DFW]

23. That kind of attitude doesn't go down well int the free market

No one puts up with that kind of crap if they don't have to.

[niyad]

12. Delightful story.

[mac2766]

13. This kind of thing is simple mis-management.

Too often, a manager of a place of business leans too heavily on "the rules" that he or she forgets why they are there. To serve their customers.

I have several examples that I can share, but the best one involves an internet service company called Mediacom. The day that high speed internet was available in my neighborhood I called the cable company and ordered their service, which included a $5.00 per month modem rental fee. After a couple of years paying the monthly rental, I started seeing ads on the television stating that there would be no modem rental fees charged to new customers. I called and asked to have my rental fee removed from my account. I was told that the offer was for new customers only. I asked to speak with a supervisor who gave me the exact same answer. I told her that I wanted to cancel my account. She promptly started the cancellation process. I then stated that I would like to order "new" service from her company and asked when a technician would be available to install my new modem. There was a pause. I believe she was discussing the situation with someone. When she came back on the line she fully understood how ridiculous the situation was. While she didn't simply stop charging me, she did place a recurring $5.00 credit to my monthly statement. You see, because of the rules, they had to charge me $5.00 per month. There was no way around that. But seeing the stupidity, the supervisor was able to credit that amount to my account every month.

I've since dropped Mediacom and went with a different company. Not that they're any better.

[ybbor]

15. My brother's first boss was humble

He was in real estate and owned well over a hundred properties, but dressed like a “farmer”, whatever that means. Needless to say he was quite wealthy.

One day he walked into a Cadillac dealership to buy a new car. No one even spoke to him as he walked around the dealership, nor inquire as to if he was looking for a vehicle. After about 15 minutes he asked to speak to the manager. He told the manager he was there to buy a new car and that no one gave him the time of day. He told the manager he had intended to buy the car right then, and showed him an envelope full of $100 bills, as he was going to pay cash. This was the late ‘70s so it was probably around $10-15K for a new Caddy.

The manager fell over himself trying to apologize, but my brother’s boss told him he would not be buying from his dealership that day nor in the future. He left and went across town to one of the other Cadillac dealerships, this was in Flint, MI so there were a few, and paid cash there.

You can’t judge a book by its cover, at either end. Wealthy folks sometimes dress down, but more often it’s the opposite, less well-off dressing as if they are wealthy.

[DFW]

24. 35 years ago, something very similar to that happened to me

It was in the waning days of Reagan's "high interest" policy, and the US dollar was way artificially high against all European currencies. I needed a new car here, as mine had died a natural death. There were three dealerships close by in the town I eventually settled in, and due to the unnatural currency situation, cars in Germany were super cheap if you had dollars to pay with. I could afford almost anything in my size range.

First, I went to Audi, and they had a model just the size I wanted. But I sometimes traveled with luggage and/or guitars, so I needed some trunk space. The Audi had virtually none. Thanks, but no thanks. Next was the Mercedes dealership. Normally out of my range, but suddenly (and very temporarily!) cheap. I found a model just the size I needed, and they could fit it with a catalytic converter (still optional in those days). Great! How soon could I get delivery? Oh, 18 months max. A year and a half? Again, thanks, but no thanks.

So, last on the list was the BMW dealership, the brand I least thought would work for me. I went over to them. By this time, it was raining, and I was sopping wet. I walked into the BMW dealership, and the salesmen all took one look at me, and then buried their noses in their desks again. I gave up, and went back to town, and walked into the bank where we had our German account.

The guy at the bank, who knew me, and didn't give a rat's ass how I was dressed, asked me what brand I had gone with. I said none, and told him of my unsuccessful search. He said the BWM dealership had its account with him, and he was sure the owners would be appalled to hear it. I said, well you are free to tell them if you want. He said hold on, and called the owner's daughter who was the general manager. She was furious, and told the bank guy that if I wasn't thoroughly disgusted with them, would I please come back and ask for her personally. I said, well, OK, since I still needed a car.

So, I went back there, and she came down, and apologized for her salesmen. She did ask what I did, and when I said I was director for Europe for my outfit, she said, aha, no wonder you were pissed, I would have been, too. She asked me what I was looking for. I told her the approximate size, and that I wanted a car with a catalytic converter. She said they had just what I was looking for: 4 door, trunk space, not too big, and took lead-free. It wouldn't go 240 KPH, but I said I never intended to drive that fast in my life anyway. Within half an hour, I had signed for a car to be delivered i six weeks, a new mid-sized BMW, costing me about $14,700 (like I said, out-of-whack currency situation).

She remarked that with that kind of attitude from her salesmen, she would go out of business in a year. I said I agreed, and she told me a year later that not one of the salesmen she had working for her during my first visit was still working there six months later. We stayed friends until she got married, had kids, sold the business and moved to another part of Germany.

[taxi]

16. Now there's someone who knows how to treat a Vogon

Vogons are bureaucrats from Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy (for those who have never watched)

[Ferrets are Cool]

17. +1

[nitpicker]

20. Sign her up for ten banks

Because the insured limit at each institution is 250K.


((On the off-chance that this is a real story...))

[DFW]

25. I have no idea if it's real or not

My wife related it to me over breakfast today, and couldn't recall where she had read it, only heard that it was over in the USA somewhere.

But I know that if someone had told one of my grandmothers (or even my mom) to spread out her net worth among ten banks, she would have told whoever it was making the suggestion to go take a hike, even if she had had two and a half million in the bank. Who wants to put up with that kind of paperwork? And we can't all be LaVere Redfield.

[Fla Dem]

26. One quick witted old "RICH" lady.