I have some very weird questions about graveside services

[Backseat Driver]

Do cemeteries have a continously open vault available for multi-use graveside services that are NOT at the actual final resting place (gravesite)? for convenience of perhaps parking availability? So, later, the deceased is re-elevated and then lowered into the actual resting place and a displayed cap is then moved from the multi-use vault to then cover the actual grave or are those caps also "faked" as with stick on lettering?

When severe weather disturbs a graveside service at which a canopy over the purported vault was provided, is the service re-scheduled, cancelled, delayed until the storm passes - are the fees charged only for transportation of the deceased to the grave site at the appropriate time for a scheduled grave site service if and when it is cancelled by a relative who has planned one at the time of the interrupting storms? Are the "helpers" from the arranging funeral home paid by the hour, i.e., driver of hearse, handlers of coffin and supplies of, say, flowers to be placed by those attending? Are country cemeteries so busy, have such a busy daily schedule, that a delay of the service isn't possible?

Are these ways commonly used to defray costs of said services? Seems very disrespectful of the deceased and mourners present...I've never had to plan for any services for an internment. Sorry if these questions seem odd...

[dawg day]

1. Can't help you-

It's common in my area to have a memorial service (the funeral) a few days after the death, and the interment a private service later-- most everyone now here goes for cremation, so there's no hurry to get the "cremains" into the ground.

I think places with extreme weather, like Minnesota or New Orleans, might need to make adjustments that you mention-- freezing and flooding.

But usually -- this last year is UNusual-- there aren't so many deaths as to require "parking" in most places, I bet.

[Historic NY]

2. Its a question for the funeral director...

Some can hold a body for up to 7 days....fees of course. Some cemeteries have receiving vaults where a casketed body can await burial, even a chapel These revert to times when weather prevented burial. So you'd have to ask because there are laws he must follow. Someplaces also have refrigeration. I had to ship my brother home it was 6 days before the service. Usually you are paying for a service that can include all that you ask. The cemetery chosen will charge for opening and closing the grave. I don't know what your state is but check, there are rules and perhaps they have a helpful checklist.

[link:https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0305-planning-your-own-funeral#planning|]

[Coventina]

3. Daughter of a minister here: been to many graveside services

The graveside service is always at the actual interment site. In order for that to happen, the graveside service can be on a very different schedule than other observances.

I've been to such observances in every kind of weather, except high winds. I honestly am not sure what happens in that case. It's just never been something I've observed.

All the "helpers" are hired by the funeral director, usually a professional at the funeral home. They are usually employees of the funeral home, and are paid their regular salary, whatever that happens to be. It's just a "day at the office" for them.

If this doesn't adequately answer your questions, let me know and I will clarify.

[WhiteTara]

4. When my mother died

it was raining as we left the funeral home. We did not postpone the graveside ceremony but incorporated it into the good bye to mother. My mother arranged her own funeral and all the services were paid for before she died. I suggest that you call a funeral home and get info from them. I've seen go fund me accounts to pay for services along with jars in grocery stores and banks etc.

[csziggy]

5. The graveside services I've been to were at the actual grave plot for each individual

Since the ones I've been to were not disturbed by sever weather I don't know about the other questions. I do know that the extraordinarily long graveside sermon given at my sister's funeral did not incur extra charges. Neither did the delays caused by the two women that fainted at that service - it was late June in Florida and very hot and muggy so the mourners who did not have shade were very heat stressed.

We managed to get pall bearers from family members - for my father and mother (separate services years apart) my husband, BIL, nephews and nephew in law were the pall bearers. I am not sure how it's handled if there are no relatives to do that job.

The small town funeral home that handled all my relatives' funerals has various levels of service that depend on different factors - if the service will be at the funeral home or a church, if there will only be a graveside service, if they have to contact the closest military base for the military send off (both my parents had that), and more.

While I was there for planning my Dad's funeral, we pretty much went with one of their all inclusive packages - service at the funeral home, they transported flowers and everything to the grave, graveside service (grave digging and refilling handled by the private cemetery), and so forth. They did not break it down for us at all.

My mother in law, on the other hand, was cremated and the family decided to take their father's ashes out of the vault where they had been since he died in 1973 and replace them in a nice bench with hers in a different cemetery. The bench has room for two more sets of ashes and my BIL and SIL are planning to be placed there eventually. They did have a ceremony at the church where one of her daughters is a member - NOT the Unitarian Church MIL had attended for decades - and the internment was done with a family gathering several months later.