Concerning my post about consoling words at my ex husband's "celebration of life."

[CTyankee]

"Although I can't be here to join you, I want thank you for attending this celebration for "Charles." You are kind and generous, two qualities we can all aspire to in our lives. My step-granddaughter, Rabbi Jane has offered me the following words that would be appropriate for this gathering. L'chaim. To life!"

I really do have a stepgranddaughter rabbi and I plan to get an appropriate message from her. She is so wonderful I am sure she will help me.

This, I hope, will have a salutary effect on my daughter who is angry because I won't attend this gathering. I want there to be peace in the family.

[Fla Dem]

1. Peace to you and your family.

[CTyankee]

2. Thanks. I've probably overthought this but I think no one can fault good words offered in good faith

[LetMyPeopleVote]

3. You and your family will be in my prayers

[MyMission]

4. For my mom's funeral 5 years ago

None of my cousins could attend. I asked several who'd been close to my mom to write something to be read during her service. The funny, heartwarming memories were read by others and provided comfort and connection. The oldest cousin shared memories of my parents wedding.

I hope you can craft a letter that provides comfort and memories for your daughter and the mourners who attend. I'd suggest starting with when you met and married, the things you enjoyed together and why you fell in love. Good memories of having a family, of him being a good father, his best qualities.
Then breeze by the fact that it didn't last, but you (both) went on to another chapter in your lives and both loved your daughter. Acknowledge her strength and good qualities, which came in part from him. Then close with words of comfort from the rabbi.

Just a suggestion, based on what was done for my mother. I hope it helps.

[CTyankee]

5. I will give this serious thought. Much of my marriage, I found out later, was not good from the

start, and was based on lies he told me and lack of any decent support financially and emotionally.
When I tired of having my heart broken both through lack of financial stability and his constant infidelity
I just gave up. Through a group called "Parents without Partners" I found my now and forever husband.

I wish it were a different story and I could tell it. You make good suggestions and I thank you for your thoughtfulness.

[Donkees]

6. "Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness...

"Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift." - Mary Oliver’s “The Uses of Sorrow”

[CTyankee]

7. That about sums it up.

Thanks for this. It's an interesting take on my situation...