The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsI really f-in' hate my family some days.
This is one of them.
I think they take advantage of me, treat me like crap, and don't give a shit about what I think.
They don't bother to extend the least bit of common courtesy to me.
There are times when I think I will just say "so long, have a nice life, don't bother to ever contact me again."
Grey
(1,581 posts)I feel the same way about half my family as well.
It's best to just build your own life. You, also need to build boundaries.
turtlerescue1
(1,013 posts)My family has my P.O. number, knows the Name of the town I live in, but not my phone#.
It took me three years to forgive, then the same old crap began again- and I quit.
A good friend sent me a card when things were still real raw, it read: "Perhaps God gives us friends to make up for family."
Of course it didn't help to be the only liberal, the only democrat and the only one not a member of the NRA, and things went downhill from there. Tiny example: Went out to the family farm with a couple friends, Black, and when we pulled in next to the house, the faces on my family blew me away. My friend nudged me in the ribs and started laughing hard, and said "They're saying, there's ----- and she's brought the N-s with her." I was so ashamed of these people -and then I started laughing at her words because her words perfectly fit the looks on their faces. Didn't stay long because I couldn't stop laughing, and EVERYONE of them was furious I just wouldn't tell them WHY.
See I told you I get it Denninmi.
Shankapotomus
(4,840 posts)it sucks but i remind myself no one promised other people would make me happy. Asking or expecting others to make us happy seldom works. Oddly what works to make us happy is when we focus on making others around us happy. Counterintuitive but I find it works for me.
HeiressofBickworth
(2,682 posts)for nearly 10 years (my choice). Some are right-wingers, some are busy-bodies and some are just unpleasant people. Don't miss them a bit. And after all this time, I rarely even think about them. I harbor no bad wishes for their health or safety, I just don't want any contact with them. I got to the point where I realized life is too short to have to spend time with people I genuinely don't like.
JI7
(89,412 posts)WillParkinson
(16,864 posts)To save your sanity. Believe me, I understand. I haven't spoken to either side of the family, other than my mom, for nigh on 30 years. I'm a much happier person for it.
nolabear
(42,067 posts)My husband and sons are wonderful people. And though they're screaming Right Wingers, my family of origin are salt of the earth, good people who would give you anything. They'll talk bad about you, get drunk with you, give you money and a bed, fight for you, click theire tongues, pray for your soul, and bore you to tears, but we are bound together. We had an almpst unimaginable level of tragedy when we were growing up, and everyone, from my sisters to my cousins and the one great-unt that's still kicking at nearly a hundred, has always been there for us, as we have for them.
The other crap like political points of view I'll just put up with, though now and then we circle one another like broody hens.
Edited to add that I realize this ain't about me, and I'm really sorry you're struggling. I hope it gets way better.
blueamy66
(6,795 posts)I don't have anything constructive to say....just that I am sorry.
grasswire
(50,130 posts)What is it they say -- if the other family members won't go, go by yourself. Then at least you might find a path that will be less stressful and more rewarding. I can tell how much this is ripping you up.
Baitball Blogger
(46,961 posts)If you're a mother you find some way to survive through it. If you're a brother, sister, daughter or son and are an adult, it may be a signal that you should go out on your own to find that thing that they're not providing for you. You might find your feelings softening for them over time, giving you all an opportunity to regroup on a whole new level.
Tsiyu
(18,186 posts)you're wonderful."
Advice from my mom.
My family is crazy but we've mostly all made our peace. My immediate family ( my parents and sibs ) are awesome and sweet and generous. Other family? Meh. Mixed bag. I just stay away from the emotional vampires.
I hope you can find solace in the garden or in a good friend today