My Al-Anon sponsee has died from COVID.

[LastLiberal in PalmSprings]

For those who are in a Twelve Step program (A.A.. Al-Anon, Adult Children of Alcoholics, Nar-Anon, etc.), you know how close a Sponsor-Sponsee relationship is. I have sponsored James T. for 30 years, through two marriages, a divorce, the death of a spouse and many other life events. He was always positive, ready to jump in and help, and someone who was committed to his wife and his adult children.

The last time I saw him I asked if he had been vaccinated, and he said he had. Today I learned that he wasn't telling me the truth. His girlfriend had been afraid of it, so he deferred to her and also didn't get vaccinated. Both he and his girlfriend got COViD. She got a serious case but survived; he didn't. He was 75 years old. (My wife and I got vaccinated the same week we were eligible.)

I'm of two minds. Of course, the sadness and grief of losing someone so close is numbing. But mixed in with that is anger. He did not have to die, at least, not this way. The local Walmart offers free vaccine shots whenever the pharmacy is open. More significantly, I'm furious with Trump and his followers, all who believe that getting vaccinated is being disloyal to Dear Leader.

This is the first time a COVID death has hit so close to home. I'm going to go for a walk in the desert.

[GPV]

1. I'm so sorry

[SheltieLover]

2. So sorry for your loss

[brewens]

3. Look back at what TFG said about the vaccines starting early on. Did any of that sound like the

vaccines would be something TFG wouldn't expect everyone to get? That first roundtable where we first saw Birx, he was trying to bully the pharma execs into saying they could have a vaccine in a few months. Why? Of course it's totally different now that he got his ass thrown out of the White House.

[KS Toronado]

8. Yes, kind of puzzling in a way.....

Or is this just another case of the Democrats say it's good, so reQublicans are gonna say it's bad?
We know how they work, just automatically disagree no matter the topic.

[3catwoman3]

4. Such a long relationship.

It must feel like losing a sibling.

[soldierant]

13. A younger sibling, a niece or nephew, possibly even a child.

A sponsor is not fully in loco parentis, but is at the vry least a mentor.

[MLAA]

5. Sending you comforting thoughts

A couple I’ve known for around 30 years chose to fly to Missouri for a Funeral last fall. Upon return they were both hospitalized. She died in the hospital. He was released and died a few months later. All to go to the funeral of a nephew in a covid hot spot. Both had serious comorbidities. I was sad but I was also angry they had been so dumb.

[LastLiberal in PalmSprings]

16. You have my condolences.

I'm trying to recall our last conversation. I once suggested, "If you or your wife suddenly died, would you want what you just said to be the last words your loved one heard?" It's time I put my advice into action.

[littlemissmartypants]

6. I hope you find comfort in the happy memories he left behind, LastLiberal. ❤

For James...

[Jerry2144]

7. I am sorry for your loss

And please do not lose sight of the fact you have friends on DU to whom you may turn in your need. You lost a brother, an arm you can lean on. We're all here for you to lend strength when you need us.

[LastLiberal in PalmSprings]

17. Thank you. I consider DU to be my second family. However, unlike my birth family,

you don't drive me crazy.

[Rhiannon12866]

9. I am so very sorry - and I do know where you're coming from

I lost my AA sponsor of 9 1/2 years three years ago last month, she gave back so much and we'd also been through a great deal together. And I do feel like I understand since I think of her always and try to live up to the faith she had in me. She was not well when I first met her in 2008, but she never gave up and helped so many. I cannot imagine how tough it must be after 30 years, but I understand your grief - and anger. Fear over the virus is understandable, but that's the reason to get vaccinated, not the opposite.

[orangecrush]

10. So sorry for your loss

Al-anon is a great group.

[DFW]

11. TFG has a LOT of blood on his hypocritical hands

And he couldn't care less.

[catrose]

12. I am so sorry. Such a relationship, and for 30 years. I know you're heartbroken,

especially for such a reason.

I'm sorry his girlfriend couldn't be the one he lied to instead. She would have never known.

[LastLiberal in PalmSprings]

19. It still hasn't sunk in that he's gone.

My wife and I visited his girlfriend last night. I kept wanting to ask, "What the hell were you thinking?", but I realized any answer would not bring him back, so I just tried to be sympathetic.

I'm reserving my rage for TFG and every one of the people who enabled him. Also for the imbeciles at Fox who kept repeating the lie that COVID was a liberal hoax perpetrated by Dr. Fauci. I'm not religious, but I would change my beliefs if it meant there was a literal Hell where they would spend eternity.

[smirkymonkey]

14. I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

It must be very difficult to hold both of those feelings in your heart at once.

Sending you peaceful vibes and may your sponsee rest in peace.

[LastLiberal in PalmSprings]

15. Thank you.

[TexasBushwhacker]

18. Good grief. 75!

I wonder how his girlfriend feels about it now.

[Demovictory9]

20. sorry you lost a pal

[Aristus]

21. The Native people of Australia would tell you

it’s a perfect reason to go on walkabout…

[LastLiberal in PalmSprings]

22. Thank you to everyone who has sent condolences.

It means more to me than I can express.

[Celerity]

23. 'His girlfriend had been afraid of it, so he deferred to her'

she had no power to stop him from getting vaxxed up