Light bulb jokes... got a favorite?

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take...?
























When the bulb burns out they just follow it around for a few decades.

[underpants]

1. Oh!

I’ve never heard that one.

Lived 20 minutes from the mothership in Hampton in my formative years.

[ShazzieB]

2. How many psychotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. But the lightbulb has to really want to change.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

8. That is one of my favorites as well.

[underpants]

3. How many Virginians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three.
One to change it and two tah remembuh how good the oooohld one was

[imaginary girl]

4. Nothing that really lights me up!

[Clash City Rocker]

5. How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.

[Sneederbunk]

6. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but it takes ten sessions.

[Enter stage left]

7. How many Repuqs does it take to screw in a light bulb...

It will never happen, they're too big to get into a light bulb.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

10. How many Lilliputians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two but you have to leave the bulb turned off cause they're shy.

[griffi94]

9. How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

12....because each one gets a turn......and then they all bitch because it's electric.

[Binkie The Clown]

11. How many light bulbs does it take to change a Republican?

I honestly don't know the answer.

[Ocelot II]

12. How do different breeds of dog change a light bulb?

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

BORDER COLLIE: I can do it just as quickly and efficiently as any human can. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

DACHSHUND: You know I can't reach that lamp!

ROTTWEILER: Make me.

LABRADOR: Oh, me, me!! Puhleeez let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?

NEWFOUNDLAND: Let the Border Collie do it and then you can feed me while he's busy.

JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

POODLE: I'll just blow into the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. And by the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

COCKER SPANIEL: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

DOBERMAN PINSCHER: Change it?? While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

IRISH SETTER: Huh?

BOXER: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark...

MASTIFF: We Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

CHIHUAHUA: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

POINTER: I see it, the light bulb, there it is, there it is, right there....

GREYHOUND: If it isn't moving, who cares?

AUSTRALIAN CATTLE DOG: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle....

OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb.

HOUND DOG: Zzzzzzzzzz...

CAT: Cats don't change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So how long will it be before I can expect light?

[I_UndergroundPanther]

13. How many mice do you need to

Screw in a lightbulb?







2

[billh58]

14. How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None a your fucking business!

[ironflange]

15. How many bikers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Bikers don't screw in light bulbs. Bikers screw in pools of vomit.

Ugh. Sorry about that one.

[tblue37]

16. How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but it's really hard to get them in there.

How many Jewish mothers . . "Never mind. If you're too busy to help me, I'll just sit here in the dark.

How many sorority girls . . . Three: one to change the bulb, one to notify the campus newspaper, and one to order the commemorative T-shirts.

[tblue37]

17. How many Republicans. . . Three: one to hold the bulb, and two to turn the ladder.

[vanlassie]

18. Wasn't there a LONG list of answers years ago to "How many DUers

does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”