Happily for me, my entire large extended family is on the same plane, except for a few cousins who didn't know him all that well.
Sometimes I guilt trip myself a bit, because I think of what my parents might have thought of our non-relationship were they still alive.
Then I just remind myself of all the interactions my brother and I had...
My father - a master of forgiveness if ever there was one - spent many years not speaking with my brother, but at the end of his life, let him back in.
I did too, briefly, for a few years, although not intimately. In my grief, I felt I had to live up to my father's standard of forgiveness, but finally I had to accept that my father was a better man than I am.
There's nothing to gain in a one sided relationship, but, as for what I've gotten out of my brother, I've had a lot of fun coaching my sons about what to say if their uncle - with whom they have very little familiarity but of whom they've heard - finds out I've died and shows up at my funeral.
He's very charming, very bright, very funny, and very toxic. I told them that he'll steal their underwear and make them feel guilty for forcing him to steal it. My sons consider that a challenge. (It's very unlikely they'll ever meet him.)
Seriously, if you've dealt with it, you know you're doing the right thing, and nobody can tell you otherwise. We all have some regrets at the end of our lives, but no one should regret protecting their own sanity.
I congratulate you on making what must have been a difficult decision.
= new reply since forum marked as read
