This message was self-deleted by its author

[UTUSN]

This message was self-deleted by its author (UTUSN) on Thu Sep 2, 2021, 12:43 AM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[Deuxcents]

1. Hard to know what to say

But I do hope your reaching out help soothe the many years of lost contact. Can’t bring back time or all the water over the dam but I hope you’re feeling at peace now that you’ve reached out. 🙏

[UTUSN]

3. She reached out to me in our estrangement and I snubbed her. I knew would accept me

more than she would anybody else. Also know the contact is futile, not talking about her condition, about her headstrong ways. I'm at peace that I tried and swallowed my pride - it's totally hard to impossible for me to say "I love you" to anybody except strangers in Lounge.

[UTUSN]

4. Believe me, I know about patients' rights. I have a Do Not Resusitate for myself. I didn't get too

involved. O.K., I guess this is all I will say. But knowing me, if I'm pushed I'll probably say more. My family doesn't have a higher wisdom, they are passive.

As DANTE said, the worst circle in hell is for those who don't take a stand.

[Haggard Celine]

6. I'm sorry, please forgive my poor choice of words.

I didn't mean to imply that you were overstepping or anything, although I can see how what I said could be taken that way. I don't express myself very well sometimes. I shouldn't have said anything.

[UTUSN]

7. Am Self-deleting. The whole O.P. is here:

O.K., not fishing for pity or "hero" worship. Just another like all of us, bad situation

The closest cousins in my growing up were a dude my age and the two sisters. Their family group moved to Florida in the '60s and when my uncle had 30 days' vacation every year they would stay with us.

Long story but the closest cousin to me was (call her "Jane" ). So she and I kept in touch by phone for decades, until her various personal problems led to our break-up. She said something to me that was maliciously offensive, untrue, and ugly. So no contact for about the past six years.

Jane and her family are non-political, but her tendencies are of the wingnut variety. Jane had a headstrong and fraught life history.

So a week or so ago the word got to me that Jane was in the hospital with covid. I knew/suspected that she had not been vaxxed, and she wasn't. Later word was that she was refusing hospitalization, predictably. She did go home and a visiting nurse told her family she should be in the hospital.

My only discussion about all this was with my elderly sister who is Passive Aggressive and prays her Catholic head off over everything, but won't *do* anything. Today I suggested my calling Jane, saying I knew she would take my call, that I would not press hard, would just feel things out. She said that we should just let Jane's family, who are not adept, handle things their own way.

Tonight, fwiw, things "clarified" for me to go ahead and call Jane. I first thought I should call the sister for "permission." Then I decided I don't need permission and just called.

Jane sounded weak and tired. I told her I was just calling to know how she is and she told me. I said that I love her, my sister loves her, another girl cousin she's close to loves her, and another old cousin loves her. She said she knows, that "They've all been driving me crazy." I said I wouldn't keep her on the line and she thanked me.

I then called her sister to tell her and that I had not told Jane what do do. She thanked me.

The legal remedies are out there but our whole family is full of Passive Resisters. So that's that.