50 Brutal Jokes For People Who Like Dark Humor

[left-of-center2012]

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
..............................

I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
..............................

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
..............................

My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."

https://www.boredpanda.com/dark-jokes/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=Newsletter

[Xipe Totec]

1. I met my spouse at a funeral.

Now all her unwed female relatives dress up for funerals.

[SergeStorms]

2. These are dark?

Jeebus, I must be world weary, or else I'm really fucked up. 🤪 These are pretty tame as far as I'm concerned.

[True Dough]

3. Seconded!

I wouldn't post here some of the jokes that make me laugh. Just too off-color.

[mitch96]

5. same here, I've had some posts bounced because of my strange humor.... nt

[Angleae]

8. Are these any better?

https://www.boredpanda.com/short-scary-two-sentence-horror-stories/

[llashram]

4. loved them

but that's just me. I laughed out loud. A keeper

[MLAA]

6. These are good! Thanks!

[eppur_se_muova]

7. Well, GREAT -- I had to relearn a costly lesson ...

... stay away from Bored Panda, if there's anything you plan to accomplish today.

[smirkymonkey]

9. OMG, that was hilarious!

Most of them anyway. I really needed that! Badly. Thanks so much. I laughed my arse off at some of the most twisted ones, which makes me worry about myself a bit.