My brother died this morning
Last edited Fri Jan 14, 2022, 02:10 PM - Edit history (1)
My brother passed away suddenly this morning in his apartment in NJ. He was evidently having trouble breathing and 911 was called. Unfortunately they were unable to revive him. He had sleep apnea and was on a cpap machine. He was addicted to cigarette smoking.
I was notified by the police who called me from his cell phone. I knew he was in poor health, but this was still a huge shock to me. He lived more than 200 miles from me and making arrangements is going to be complicated.
He was 67 years old, 2 1/2 years younger than I am. He was a sales consultant for a moving company in NJ. He loved motorcycles and had a tremendous sense of humor. with a joke for any occasion. He spoke Estonian and German. He attended Estonian Saturday school in NJ as a child, and went to an Estonian children's summer camp in Long Island, NY.
Our parents died many years ago, and he was my only sibling. Other than my husband, kids and grandkids, our only other close relative is a cousin in Estonia and her kids. Our parents were immigrants from Estonia by way of a displaced persons refugee camp in Germany. He had a difficult life in many ways, including substance abuse.
I am about to break down at this point, but wanted people to know.
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A sudden loss is difficult to absorb. I hope you have many memories to comfort you.
I wish there was more I could do but know you and your brother are in my thoughts today. In time the pain will ease and only the good memories and good times will remain and a smile will replace the sadness.
Deepest condolences.
What a painful loss.
It is very hard when a loved one passes away unexpectedly. Prayers in the wind. Take care of you, as you are handling your brother's arrangements.
May you find peace and solace in the memory of your brother from happier days.
it's ok not to be ok right now! take the time needed to grieve
good memory comfort you. Wishing you strength as you go through this process and sending hugs .
…does, although from a different point of view. They were there with you.
May all your memories of him be dear.
Deepest condolences to you.
I'm very close with my three brothers. I'm the only girl. ("Girl". I'm 58.) We're all getting on in age, but so far we are all in decent health. Still, our father died suddenly of a heart attack without much warning, so I worry.
Take care of yourself. And thanks for telling us about your brother. Sounds like a good guy.
Losing a sibling is extremely hard and Carries it’s own special pain and shock. My brother died about 50 years ago and I still mourn for him. Sometimes it feels like it just happened recently. I’m sorry for your loss.
for your loss.
to all who knew and loved him. 
For the loss of your Brother
Thank you for informing your friends. Now take time for yourself.
loss.
Such a young guy to die suddenly, and he sounds like he was wonderful brother.
I think a loss like that is even harder now when we are all already so isolated.
Your love for your brother comes through in your writing.
Wishing you peace.
and lost my brother a year ago. Brother-in-law (also from immigrant family) three months ago. There will always be a hole there. Please take care of yourself and reach out and hug those close to you. I know that sounds like advice, but what else do we have at a time like this? We care here and will have you in our thoughts.
I have lost two brothers, one just last May, and I know the feeling
Love and peace to you as you navigate through this sad and difficult time.
Deepest sympathy.
I wish you strength and comfort in the days ahead.
A heavy load when shared is at least a little easier to bear.
I’m so sorry for your loss. But I want to share that kind reminder that Skittles posted here long ago, that I’ve never forgotten. “Someone’s always here.” It’s true, and hopefully it can be at least a small comfort to you during this time. You won’t be mourning alone.
Losing your only sibling is devastating and can make you feel marooned as the last surviving member of your birth family.
My only sibling (sister) died 2 years ago this month, a year younger than your brother. I too lived a good distance away. However, my sister had a loving partner who made all the funeral arrangements, followed her last wishes to the letter, a viewing and memorial in Florida and then an additional memorial and burial in NJ. My sister Kathy died right before Covid became a global scourge.
It still hurts, haunts in ways I did not anticipate. The passage of time helps but, of course, that means little in the moment of loss. Lean on your husband and kids for support; their love will boost you and provide strength.
It's hard. It just is.