I got hearts to give away. Tell me the corniest kids joke you have.

[A HERETIC I AM]

Those of you with none or one heart, tell me the silliest, corniest kids joke you have ever heard!

You know….

What’s big and red and eats rocks?

A Big Red Rock Eater, of course!

Lay it on me

[FalloutShelter]

1. How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.



I ♥️ You too!

[kimbutgar]

2. How does a fish save its money?

At a river bank!

[Aristus]

3. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Impatient cow.

Impatient c—

MOO!

[A HERETIC I AM]

5. LOL

[dixiechiken1]

10. I'm dead.

[Haggard Celine]

4. Why doesn't Jesus like M&ms?

They keep falling through the holes in his hands. The bad kids tell that one in Sunday School on Easter.

[Irish_Dem]

16. Those kids are bad, but hilarious.

[Haggard Celine]

17. They were.the ones I hung around with, of course,

much to my parents' dismay.

[Irish_Dem]

18. That little joke probably did not go over well with your parents.

My parents would not have been amused.

[Haggard Celine]

20. You think I told it?

I let others tell it!

[Irish_Dem]

21. Smart. My aunt the nun would have thought it funny.

She was close to her nieces and nephews, thought we were adorable and could do no wrong.

She would have had to bite her lip, trying not to laugh in front of our parents.

[Haggard Celine]

23. I used to know a nun like rhat.

She used to go sometimes to this gay bar I frequented. She would come in the early afternoon sometimes and have a few drinks, before the place got busy. A delight to to be around, she was a great lady with a sweet spirit. She was a Franciscan, of course!

[Irish_Dem]

25. Yep that is my aunt, she was Sisters of Notre Dame.

A teaching order. She spent most of her adult life as a teacher and principal. Loved kids. Was very with it, modern. She shucked her habit as soon as it was legal.

[LastDemocratInSC]

6. Here goes: I don't have multiple personalities and neither do I.

[Tetrachloride]

7. In "Calvin and Hobbes",

Hobbes says:

“Smock ! Smock ! Smock !”

[progressoid]

8. What do you call the head of Old MacDonald's farm?

The CIEIO.

[MerryHolidays]

9. A psychiatrist determined that a patient who dreamed he was a wigwam and a teepee

...was too tense.

[Irish_Dem]

15. I finally got it. Two tents. Ha.

[bottomofthehill]

11. Knock knock

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

[Cracklin Charlie]

12. Do you know why a pony can't talk?

He’s a little hoarse.

[CrispyQ]

13. How do you fix a broken tomato?

With tomato paste.

[Irish_Dem]

14. I think you have to give all of them a heart.

They are all really funny.

Who knew there were so many comedians here?

[Marthe48]

19. Why is the ocean wet?

Because the sea weed.

My grand daughter's current favorite. lol

My grandson's favorite:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

[Floyd R. Turbo]

22. Why don't aardvarks get the flu?

They’re full of antibodies! 😁

[Harker]

24. Did you hear about the accident at the Air Force Base?

A Jeep ran over a bag of popcorn... two kernels were killed.

Not hoping for any reward, just had to post my favorite corny joke.

[Totally Tunsie]

27. Do you know why you can't send a letter to Washington with a $.58 stamp?

Washington's dead.

(This was always my dad's favorite - I remember him telling it when postage was $.05!)

[sky_masterson]

28. Do you know why they don't play games in the jungle?

Too many Cheetahs.

Do you know what you get when you cross an elephant with a Rhino?
Elefino.

[A HERETIC I AM]

29. What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?

Walk him and pitch to the rhino.




I ran out of hearts!

[mysteryowl]

30. What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette

[ornotna]

31. What do you get when you cross an elephant with peanut butter

An elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

[TexasBushwhacker]

32. How do you spot Ronald McDonald on a nude beach?

Just look for his sesame seed buns!

[Coventina]

33. What do you call Raggedy Ann laying face down in a dirt road?

A dirty cotton rock-sucker!



shame on me!!