Help! How do you move someone out of a house they've lived in for 40 years? Where to begin?

[RamblingRose]

My mom & stepdad are finally moving out of their house and into independent/assisted living. She will be 90 next month and he is a few months shy of 100. He was a widower when they married.

Since his 3 grown ass sons suck it's all on me though it's their dad's house. I'm an only child & live 500 miles away.

There's 40 years worth of stuff in the house & I don't want ANY of it (china, junk, silver, more junk, collectibles, furniture, more junk, tons of cleaning supplies, golf clubs,...). I told mom to only take the bare necessities (2 twin beds, 2 Lazy Boy chairs, dresser, computer, small desk & nightstand) and leave the rest. So what to do with the rest???? Dumpster? Goodwill?

I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know how she's managing. She's just anxious to get out since she's the one that wants to move.

Are there people that do this kind of stuff for a living other than just the estate sale part?

Help!

[dflprincess]

1. There are many outfits that can help

Just Google home downsizing help.

[Harker]

2. People who run estate sales often have contacts with others who will remove whatever remains.

It might be worthwhile talking to a couple of them.

[Wicked Blue]

3. You might mark prices on stuff and have an estate sale

or consider hiring an auctioneer and hold an auction

[beaglelover]

21. Unless the stuff is actually worth something, those estate sale people are not interested.

[Wicked Blue]

22. People can run their own estate sales, without using estate sale professionals

Some years ago I went to an estate sale run by professionals. The prices were ridiculously high. I discovered a set of two left-hand rubber dishwashing gloves marked $3. They were grubby too.

I held them up and showed them to the people running the sale.

"Are you insane?" I asked them. "You want three dollars for two dirty left-handed rubber gloves? I can go to the supermarket right now and buy a clean new pair for 74 cents."

My experience is that at many estate sales, they will try to sell everything in the house, including the mice.

[WhiteTara]

4. Call the waste disposal department

and order a big container. Don't get the little one, it will be too small. Then as you go through the house have a garbage container in each room and drop trash into that container and remove to the outside container. Make piles of keep and give away, put everything else in the trash container to be taken out at the end of the day.

Buy lots of wine.

[RamblingRose]

13. definitely! n/t

[kimbutgar]

5. I do this for a living.

I have helped downside And move seniors into assisted living places.

I would suggest you start identifying the stuff your parents want to keep that they’ll want to move with them to their new digs. Then ask family if they want anything else. Then you can get a hauler to take away the stuff. I work In The SF Bay Area but there is an organization called NASMM National association of senior move managers.

https://www.nasmm.org/

This site is a good starting point to help you!

Good luck!

[RamblingRose]

11. Thank you. That must be an interesting job. n/t

[kimbutgar]

18. It is and very rewarding

You help people sort though their life and move them to their new living quarters. It is grea satisfaction to re create someone’s home in a new place. We set up the kitchen, living and bed rooms. The only thing they mostly do themselves is putting away their bathroom sundries which we have ready for them to do.

I love at the end leaving them smiling they have a new place with their favorite stuff!

[mopinko]

6. they're out there.

a good estate sale company can do a lot more than sell stuff. they're used to this stuff.
there's- everything but the house. havent used them, i believe they are a franchise.

i guess it depends on whether the money is needed, and whether they have 'stuff' that someone wants.

[blm]

7. Contact the local Habitat for Humanity Restore.

[enough]

8. If you or they really don't want any of the stuff there are people who will come and haul it away.

You don’t need a professional “Downsizer.”

[MLAA]

9. Estate sale after they move out.

Just google estate sale companies in their town. They will sell what they can and remove what they can’t.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[mn9driver]

10. I went through this with my parents a few years ago.

Contact at least a couple estate sale outfits in your area and see how they would handle the prep for a sale, the sale itself and the cleanout/cleanup after the sale. Talk about Reserve prices on anything that might have extra value. If some items don’t sell, ask about consignment options. See if you can get references from previous customers.

Most of these outfits are legit, and you will end up with a small check after they deduct for their services. They should be up front about what they will deduct from the sale and put everything in writing. There are a few of these that will try to take advantage of you, so check carefully when choosing one.

Good luck! Even best case, it’s not easy.

[RamblingRose]

12. Thank you

[Voltaire2]

14. You can get a dumpster delivered.

And they will replace it as you fill it up. It’s a lot to deal with, but once you get started you just keep filling up the dumpster and soon enough it’s all gone.

My brother and I did this for our parents. Lol our two sister bailed, except to remotely claim stuff they wanted. It wasn’t fun. It did get done.

[gibraltar72]

15. Up here we do auctions.

[Totally Tunsie]

16. When my mother's house needed to be cleared out, I

brought in a dumpster (that was filled and replaced four times!), held a huge yard/estate sale, and donated the remainder to a local church that came by during the sale.

I, too, had to operate alone and from a distance of about 200 miles. Literally every weekend for almost two years was devoted to cleaning out my hoarding mother's stash. Her home was packed from floor to ceiling, wall to wall with her "treasures", half-finished projects, and just plain trash. During the process, a friend gave me this wonderful bit of wisdom: "No one wants your mother's junk." That one short sentence saved me hours of grief because it made it easy to chuck most of the hoard with no regret.

Good luck. It's not an easy process, and it can become quite emotional also. When in doubt, throw it out.

[RamblingRose]

23. Great advice from your friend. My mom always said the bigger the house the more stuff you collect.

I don't want to leave my kids with a house full of junk to sort through... or maybe I do as a payback

[Totally Tunsie]

24. Your Mom was right.

I've downsized in my last two moves, and still have much more than I need. The last couple of years I've been passing on items that have meaning within the family to both my sons, their wives and kids. In some cases, I've added a typed history of the item, such as the Sterling teapot my grandmother received as a wedding gift circa 1910. My grandmother gave it to me, and I've given it to my granddaughter.

There's probably one more move remaining in my future - to some type of independent retirement community or such. With this in mind, I'm in the midst of a major cleanout of clothes, books, kitchen items, etc., and really paring down. My vow is to not leave a disaster for my kids to deal with. I'm considering it an act of love!

[Vinca]

17. Move them out and then have a tag sale. Advertise it yourself and run it like a yard

sale. Don't bother marking stuff, just set yourself up to take money out in the yard, accept reasonable offers and let them go at it. BUT - make sure to take a good look around to be sure you don't let something valuable slip out the door. If you have any friends who sell antiques or have any expertise, maybe they could take a look around for you. After it's picked clean and you make a few bucks, it might be dumpster time. If you want to post any photos on the antique/collectibles forum, I'm sure we'd be happy to throw in our opinions.

[sarge43]

19. Ask the management of their independent/assisted living facility

I'd bet they know businesses who can help you.

Would they be willing and able to give you power of attorney to dispose of their things? If so, suggest you get one. Wouldn't put it past his kids to give you a hard time about this.

Go over their paperwork carefully. There could be important legal documents.

[beaglelover]

20. Here's what we did when my Dad died.

After Dad died 5 years ago, my Mom decided to move to an apartment closer to my next oldest sister. So we had to clean out the house and get it ready to be sold. Our family had lived in that house since 1971 so it was full of stuff and had a full basement and a full walk around attic space.

All of us kids had moved out years beforehand and none of us wanted any of our junk that was still there.

First we moved Mom to her new apartment and she took some furniture and other tems from the house that she wanted.

After that the house still had a ton of furniture in it. Some were nice antiques that my parents had picked up from England when we lived there. My next oldest sister goes to church and she mentioned a new family in her congregation just moved here from Africa and had nothing. So we brought them over to the house and let them choose any furnture they wanted and dishware, etc. and they then moved that stuff to their new house.

Anything left at this point was going to the dumpster, so we called 1 800 GOT JUNK and in a few days the house was completely empty. It was amazing how quickly they were able to go through the house and clear out all the junk. So, that would be my recommendation. I don't remember how much it cost, sorry.

[csziggy]

25. My sister did this in my parents' house after Mom died

They'd bought the house in 1977 and filled it to the brim. All the daughters and grandchildren went through and put post it notes on the things they wanted. For the few things more than one person wanted, there was a lot of negotiation.

Most of the stuff was unwanted by the family. My sister spent two years loading up usable items and dropping them off at different thrift stores so as to not overload any single one. A lot of thrift shops have a limit on what they will take - some as little as a couple of boxes. She also threw out stuff that was not usable - every week she filled the garbage cans to the brim and then still had to get some hauled off at the end.

Things that may have been valuable but not wanted by the family - including a silver plate set of cups and a huge punch bowl - were donated to a local military school that has formal affairs to teach the young prospective officers how to behave. That school also got Dad's extensive collection of books about submarines in WWII.

A BIG caution - don't just dump everything - check it out. My sister found stock that Dad had inherited from his mother, aunt and grandfather - I just got some of those shares and my shares are worth over $100,000. The physical shares were tucked in various locations since they had been inherited at different times. If she had not been careful, they would have been thrown out.She also found a brown bag with negatives and photos taken by my grandfather between 1909 and 1954 - some were of his time in France at the end of WWI!

I got the family genealogy materials and a LOT of books, plus a few pieces of family furniture.