How can you say to a coworker, member of a group, etc.,

[raccoon]

Without actually saying, “you don’t like me, do you?”

I mean, when somebody says little snipey things or else if you say the sky is blue, they’ll insist it’s green.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

1. Depends if you want to build bridges or erect fences or simply cast shade. . . . nt

[PJMcK]

2. How about this?

You could go up to the person and say, "I know you don't like me. Trust me, the feeling is mutual." Then turn and walk away.

Or do nothing. That's not really passive/aggressive, it's grown-up. Every relationship needn't have conflict.

Either way, good luck and have a great week!

[hlthe2b]

5. If they are saying these snide things in front of others, I might be tempted to ask (innocently,

with no tone or attitude) if I had done or said something to offend them? Of course, given the passive-aggressive nature of what this person is doing, they will act confused and deny anything going on, to which I would not engage in any back and forth or make any accusations other than to say, ok, good. But, in front of the usual crowd that hears their snide comments. That serves to at least show you are willing to address it without elevating the behavior. And those who overhear will probably gut check their assumptions about that person and their behavior.

[Tetrachloride]

3. Invite them to sit down for coffee, cheese and crackers every day

Sooner or later, they will go away OR give up the retorts.

In this way, you won’t slime yourself.

Pigs live in shit. We don’t have to.

[Scrivener7]

4. I wouldn't engage. I have a friend who says, "People will throw the ball to you

all the time. You get to choose what you catch."

Changed my life.

If this is unprovoked and doesn't affect your other work relationships or your ability to get your job done, it's the other guy's problem. No reason to make it your own.

[bucolic_frolic]

6. You may not be that important to them. They're just narcissistic and gaslight everyone.

I stick to work projects and issues, at work. Surely they agree on some of those, like getting things done.

[Hotler]

7. Just say, "Well bless your heart." nt

[dlilafae]

8. it's an acquired skill.

First, at the end of the day, does it really matter if they like you? You have to like you.

Practice changing how you respond, to an assault against your person. You can use tact, or mirror their response with a barb of your own. Just know when you change who you are, you will be under greater attack. But you should know, staying silent will only empower the attacker to go on, undeterred.

When someone pokes their nose in who is not a work superior (i.e. - has no clout over you), you turn it around on them and start asking them questions, shutting them down. (You watched trump do it, he's a master at deflection). I'm merely suggesting this as a starting point, and not a whole work vision approach. If they put you on the defensive, you turn it around on them, making them defend themselves and their jagged talking points. Think of it like this: why are they are speaking to you like that in the first place?

[wishstar]

9. Best to ignore/laugh off bullies who get satisfaction thinking their digs are bothering you

Puts them in a superior position if you acknowledge they are getting under your skin and that you care whether or not they like you.

And always best to not engage in back and forth digs as that can be used against you more than them.

[AngryOldDem]

10. I've dealt with this at work.

And I’m too damn old to care anymore.

I’m there to do a job to the best of my ability. Period. Nothing says I have to be best buddies with these people, or to treat them like surrogate family. Because they’re not. The dynamics of that place are the strangest I’ve ever encountered, and I’ve stopped trying to figure it out. Self-preservation.

I just keep a professional manner and leave it at that.

(Probably more of an answer than you were wanting.)

[Fla Dem]

11. Whatever and roll my eyes. Or depending on the comment; "Seriously" or "Really" with eye roll.

If they push back, I'd just say, "It's just that you seem to delight in making a negative response to anything I say. DO you have a problem with me?"

I mean if you want to pursue it. Otherwise, I'd just give her the stink eye and shake my head with a slight grin on my face.