...About "Project Scorpio"

[Mr. Scorpio]

This is not an annually required communique disseminated to all Project Scorpio Field Offices.

As you all know, Project Scorpio DOES NOT EXIST. Thus, any and all information related to Project Scorpio is classified as Triple-Super-Secret, the highest security classification that also does not exist.

This communique that you are not reading right now does not exist to reiterate the non-existent project's secrecy and your utmost responsibility to maintain its non-existence.

As is your solemn duty, under the terms of Project Scorpio:

- As far as you know, there are no known personnel conducting any operations under Project Scorpio.

- Any and all operations conducted under Project Scorpio authorization do not officially exist. Again: Project Scorpio DOES NOT EXIST.

- Whenever queried, you are hereby obligated to state that you cannot confirm or deny the existence of Project Scorpio or any Project Scorpio operation.

- You are prohibited from discussing Project Scorpio with any and all individuals outside of established protocols.

- If you hear any gossip, whispers or rumors about Project Scorpio, you in fact, did not hear them.

- Do not communicate, reiterate or otherwise divulge any non-existent codes, cyphers, nomenclature or apocrypha without prior written authorization.

- Any and all equipment assigned to a Project Scorpio operation must be immediately redacted for appropriate disposal after it was never used.

- You will not be held liable for any non-existent outcome related to any Project Scorpio operation.

- All vouchers for per diem secretly coded under Project Scorpio will not be redeemed.

- Improper conduct related to any Project Scorpio operation will not be tolerated. (See Unwritten Rules of Conduct guide for appropriate definitions)

- Please place seat backs and tray tables in their full upright position.

- Finally, should you or any of your team are killed or captured while engaged in a non-existent Project Scorpio operation, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.


Good Luck.

This was never a Project Scorpio communique.

[taxi]

1. Well, say whatever, but we know you hide the evidence in 272

[jmowreader]

2. The first rule of Project Scorpio is you don't talk about Project Scorpio

The second rule of Project Scorpio is you are only allowed to discuss Project Scorpio with people who scream out the secret passphrase Fuck Donald Trump.

The third rule of Project Scorpio is you are never allowed to ask why 82 percent of the world is in Project Scorpio.