I wish I could post a pic of this. One of the funniest things I've ever seen.
I don't want to post a picture, because the vehicle in question here does not belong to me. It belongs to my neighbor, and I don't want to be posting a picture of his car on the internet.
He has this car sitting in his driveway. There are no plates on the car, so it is not driven. It's an older model, very high end luxury car. I see the car every day when I look out my window, so this happened sometime between yesterday and this morning. It is important to note that there are no tree limbs, or no electrical wires overhead anywhere near the car.
Imagine a small section of the car that includes both the roof and the rear window, so both a horizontal, and a vertical surface, about 2.5 feet x 2.5 feet square in total area.
The car is impeccable. Spotless. Except for this small area. However, that small 2.5 ft x 2.5 ft area is fucking DEMOLISHED with bird shit. It looks like a few hundred birds decided to shit on just that small area for some reason. It's almost a perfect square too, that starts horizontally on the roof, and continues down the side like a perfectly folded piece of paper. There is so much bird shit in that small square that you literally cannot see the color of the car roof, nor the window glass, in that square, but again, the rest of the car is spotless.
Strangest thing I've ever seen because:
1) It all happened within a short period of time, so it seemed like a coordinated shit attack.
2) There is nothing overhead for the birds to sit on, so all of the shitting happened mid-flight, which seems statistically impossible.
3) It HAD to be planned by the birds. There is no other explanation. I can picture the head bird unrolling a "shit map" and pointing to a big X on the map. "Alright you motherfuckers, we ride at dawn. Not only are you going to shit on this car, but you are going to shit on the right rear roof/rear window location. Am I making myself clear"?
= new reply since forum marked as read
It's kind of like that, but it doesn't include the rear window (in my post, what I meant to refer to was the "rear side window"
, and it's not quite as thick.
how could YOU not be on good terms with anybody? You're essentially a saint. Saint LuckyCharms, I often call you when I'm saying my nightly prayers!
surely I've typed in here about the horror show that resides next door!
63 years old and never had so much as a cross word with any neighbor ever, until now.
Additionally, I've been called many many things, but "saint" ain't one of those things. 
I meant "angel."
Just teasing ya, buddy!
it was a drone attack
(no idea where they got the bird poop - but we have plenty of people in logistics)
great story! ---- 
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