Had yet another patient asking me for a blood draw to check "for everything".

[Aristus]

I told him: "How much blood do you have, because we're going to need it all."

I managed to talk him down to an STD panel.

But seriously. There's really no practical way to check "for everything".

[cilla4progress]

1. I feel

him! 🤣

[trof]

2. "What are your symptoms?"

"I just don't feel good."
"Can you be more specific?"
"I feel bad. Just all over."

[jmowreader]

6. Sounds like the most common complaint on a 2404

DA Form 2404, Equipment Inspection and Maintenance Worksheet, is the largest destroyer of trees in the federal government.

One of my radio mechanics in Berlin was telling me about the Army Maintenance Management System class she took at Fort Devens. They give you a test at the end of it.

The first question on the test is, "what is the most common deficiency noted on a 2404?"

The answer is, "it doesn't work."

The best 2404 ever written came off a jeep. The deficiency was: "Entire back of vehicle bent to shit because Lieutenant Thurlow forgot to set the brakes and it rolled down a hill into a tree." Lieutenant Bianchi did a Report of Survey and sent it to whatever office at Division handles those things. It came back the next day: "All M151 vehicles in division are to be turned in for scrap next week. Tell 1LT Thurlow to not do that again."

[bucolic_frolic]

3. Doc, I want blood with the works!

[TexasTowelie]

4. You must of had a communication issue with your patient.

Seeing that you are in Washington, he was obviously wandering whether of Bill Gate's microchips were present in the blood.

[malthaussen]

5. Yeah, I wonder how much blood would be needed to check for "everything."

Seems likely the patient would run out of blood before you ran out of tests.

-- Mal

[targetpractice]

7. Theranos Edison device... with just a drop of blood.

Oh, wait... That didn't work out so well.