SEX

[LuckyCharms]

Thank you in advance.

[EYESORE 9001]

1. This one time, I was visiting an elderly relative in a nursing home

We were in the day room with about 30 other residents and family members. A little old lady, wearing nothing and I mean NOTHING but a nightie, came skipping into the room, lifting the hem of her gown and shouting, ‘SUPER SEX!’ She performed this ‘dance’ for a couple of minutes, her cries becoming more insistent. She finally stopped in front of an elderly man, her nightie lifted high, and said firmly, ‘SUPER SEX.’ He looked her over and said, ‘soup, please.’

[LuckyCharms]

2. .

[getagrip_already]

3. DRUGS

You are welcome in retrospect.

[Marthe48]

4. Police stopped a young man, buck naked, in the middle of the night

and wanted to know what was going on. The young man said he had met a lady who invited him to a party. There were several people there, music, dancing, refreshments. Then the host switched off the lights, and yelled, "Take off your clothes!" So the young man took off his clothes. The host switched on the lights and there was a roomful of naked people. The host switched off the lights and yelled, "Everybody go to town!" And the young told the cops, "Guess I'm the first one here."

[nocoincidences]

5. A woman resident of a nursing home

stands up in front of all the diners one evening and says: Anyone who can guess what I have in my hand gets to have hot sex all night with me!

An old man in the back jumps up and yells: It's an elephant!!

The woman says: Close enough!!