Next week I'm going to see my 94 year old step mother.

[NNadir]

It's been a long time, because of Covid, and distance.

I'm bringing my sons before my youngest moves away for graduate school.

I was in my twenties when my father, some years after my mother's death, married her, and although I wasn't looking for another "Mom," I found what a privilege it was to have one.

She is, I think, one of the most beautiful people in the world; just filled with love, selfless to the max.

I'm very excited to see her again.

[Joinfortmill]

1. Love this

[highplainsdem]

2. How lovely! I hope you and your sons will have a great visit with her.

[NJCher]

3. how fortunate for you

that your father chose such a good person. I hope you and your sons have a wonderful visit.

[LoisB]

4. You and she both are very fortunate to have each other. Have a lovely visit.

[japple]

5. Thank you from a stepmother. Their father died 18 years ago and his children are still very

attentive to me. Their birth mother is a sweet and dear friend of mine. It took a few years for us all to reach the point of a blended family, but it was a wonderful experience. Before their father died, we were able to have shared vacations with their mother and it was made even better when the grandchildren came along. I am sure your stepmother is looking forward to your visit. Hope you have a wonderful time.

[Karadeniz]

6. I'm so happy for her that you were accepting of a new person. My stepchildren spent 20 years

making sure I knew for sure that I was unwelcome. Their mother had died; I never knew her. They were very nice before marriage, but that changed right away. My stepdaughter's ploy was to pretend I didn't exist. If I was standing next to her father, she'd talk to him, but not me. She wouldn't even look at me. I finally refused to visit her with him; it was just so hurtful. My stepson just made a point to say or do something mean every day. Before I was even out of bed, my first thought was, "What is he going to do to me today?" I got so stressed, I literally couldn't breathe. Grown up, he had twins the day after my father died. He took video of everyone visiting the hospital and invited us to watch it. My husband and I both noticed that when the camera came to me, the picture suddenly careened off course. He couldn't stand having my cooties in the scene, we guessed. Shortly thereafter, his grandmother came to see the twins and she walked into their house without knocking. I was still outside, but I could hear the commotion, so I stayed put. After forever, my husband came out and told me the solution was that he could visit the twins, but not me. I was glad not to be a pin cushion anymore, but my husband was so incensed that his son would consider him such a cowardly husband. Well, he'd put up with their treatment of me for decades;
I couldn't see the difference! But, that set off years of silence between him and his son. We see his family now, but I admit I find it hard to really trust him.

I always knew that the reason my stepchildren behaved so rudely was that they actually liked me. They felt that liking me was a betrayal of their love for their mother. If I could do it all over, I'd better know how to handle things.

So I'm happy you could live with change and not be mad at the living symbol of that change !!!

[NNadir]

7. I'm very sorry to hear that. To be honest, my brother wasn't great to my step mother.

Then again, he wasn't really great to anyone.

His loss...

He was, in short, an asshole, although he tried to make peace as my father was dying. As soon as my father died, he disappeared.

My step mother, but not me, still wonders about him and hopes he's well.

My stepmother struck the right tone with me; she was a widow with seven children. She knew my grief, acknowledged it and always treated me as one of her own sons, sometimes better. My dad jumped right in with her sons; they were teenagers who never really knew their own father, and my Dad, taught them, as he taught me, what it is to be a man.

My step mother's first husband, a civil road engineer, had been killed when a drunk went off the road at a construction site. His youngest children, twins, were ten years old at the time.

Her children - and I do have some differences with them - treated my father extremely well. I lived in California when my father was dying, but they took better care of him than I could. I am eternally grateful to them.

My step-mother always spoke well of my mother, respected my father's grief as he respected hers. They'd visit the cemetery together, he to lay flowers on her late husband's grave, she to lay flowers on my mother's.

However, I do understand that step children can be asses. Certainly my brother was.

My sons, although they never met my father, had a grandmother to tell stories of him. That was precious.