Butthole neighbor came pounding on my door at 2:30 this morning. Lucky for him I was still up

[Floyd R. Turbo]

practicing my bagpipes!

[Thomas Hurt]

1. Did he ask you to pipe down?

[Floyd R. Turbo]

5. 😁

[mahatmakanejeeves]

2. That was bonnie of you. NT

[Floyd R. Turbo]

6. 🤗

[cloudbase]

3. I hope he brought his accordion. n/t

[Floyd R. Turbo]

7. 😏

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. Ya made me laugh, my dear Floyd R. Turbo!

And for that, you get a recommendation!

[Floyd R. Turbo]

8. ☺️

[Walleye]

9. I got a laugh out of that one, too.Not easy to make good bagpipe jokes

[Floyd R. Turbo]

10. 😁

[Bayard]

11. I bet you kilt him

[Floyd R. Turbo]

13. 😆

[867-5309.]

12. When he asked for some respect, did you play it for him?

[Floyd R. Turbo]

14. 😁

[TlalocW]

15. I love these kinds of jokes. As a freshman on a band trip

We stayed with families in another city, and everyone was jealous of me because the family I stayed with had two hot daughters. The next day at breakfast, the upperclassmen were expressing their feelings, and I told them, "Actually, it was kind of crazy. They kept pounding on my door throughout the night."
The upperclassmen actually believed me and asked, "Oh, my God, lucky bastard. What did you do?"
"At around 3, I finally unlocked the door and let them out."

[Floyd R. Turbo]

16. 🤣

[sop]

17. Bagpipe jokes:

What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe.

What's the difference between a lawn mower and a bagpipe?
You can tune a lawn mower.

How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe?
Add vibrato.

What's the definition of a gentleman?
Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.

What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead bagpiper in the road?
Skid marks in front of the snake.

What's the difference between a dead bagpiper in the road and a dead country singer in the road?
The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session.

Did you hear the one about the bagpiper who parked his car with the windows open, forgetting that he had left his bagpipes in the back seat?
He rushed back as soon as he realized it, but it was too late--someone had already put another set of bagpipes in the car.

Why do bagpipers always walk when they play?
Moving targets are harder to hit.

How do you get two bagpipes to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one.

[Floyd R. Turbo]

18. 🤗

[MLAA]

24. Good ones!

[yonder]

19. You're neighbor had some Amazing Grace.

[Floyd R. Turbo]

20. 😁

[CentralMass]

21. When my ex and I were first married (late 80's) we rented the 2nd floor of one of Worcester MA's

"Three Deckers". The building next to us was still owned by the couple who bought it after WWII and they were still renting to their long time friends on the second floor who had lived their all that time. However the beighborthood was starting to slide a bit. We would all open our windows at night in the summer and at times it could be quite noisy. Worcester is known as the city of Seven Hills and this neighborhood was on one of them. There was another older couple up the street that would occasionally blast recorded bagpipe music late at night or in the early morning hours. I think it was probably a protest or retaliation for rude neighbors who kept them up. There were two 20 something girls who rented the third floor in our neighbors building and the buildings were quite close and one of them was a howler while having sex. Our upstairs neighbors on the third floor were also "loud". He was really big guy and she was also a howler. Despite these "three deckers" being substantially built buildings the building would shake when they were going at it. Our landlords, a young couple who had recently bought the place and lived on the first floor politely asked if it was us at one time. They could feel and hear all the way down stairs.

Well one one July night morning at about 1am it all hit a fever pitch crescendo. The couple upstairs were going at.the building was shaking and the girlfriend was howling. The two girls in the apartment next door must of both gotten lucky because they were both howling and the couple up the street was blasting the bagpipe music and finally sone neighbors dogs were howling along with it all.

[Floyd R. Turbo]

22. 😆

[Evolve Dammit]

23. Lived in the same house with a screamer. Had the family over for dinner and she was in her prime!

Last family meal hosted at that apt.

[TlalocW]

29. Not sex but noise related

I discovered that the stereo I had in college in the dorms was pretty good though I played it at a respective volume until I need to retaliate. You know what cuts through bass really well? Even deeper bass, and the soundtrack to Beetlejuice has some deep bass on it. Also, what cuts through bass really well is brass - specifically trumpet. And guess whose mother thought a CD of Mariachi music was a good gift to encourage me to keep studying Spanish?

[CentralMass]

30. 😀

[VGNonly]

25. So a woman asks a Scotsman

"Is anything is worn under your kilt?"

The Scotsman says "No Lassie , it works as good as ever!"

[Floyd R. Turbo]

27. 😏

[LoisB]

26. Good one!

[Floyd R. Turbo]

28. 😁

[Best_man23]

31. And he didn't have the courtesy of bringing the piper a wee bit of Scotch?

[Floyd R. Turbo]

32. 😏