She came over this morning

[vercetti2021]

Its only 6 am. My "girlfriend" I don't even know what to call it anymore at this point showed up to my door uninvited. She knows I'm still upset with her and she is knocking wanting to come inside. So I do. She breaks down crying how much she loves me and didn't want to jump into something so fast because if we move to a state like Colorado we won't have a problem with marriage.

I told her calmly that you ever felt let down because last minute someone you think you're gonna be together with for the rest of your life backs out without prior warning after the person who suggested and built it up in the first place drops the ball?

She apologized and told me something. It's her parents. Despite being supportive of us being together. She believes she will be booted out of her parents home and lose her rights to see her daughter. It's a complicated mess. Her brother is a huge nutjob and has been working on them to disapprove of us and she believes its working. Despite them being very kind to me still despite all the shit that happened.

So right now. Shes gonna stay here with me this morning because I felt bad for her and I wish she could have said something sooner. But I get her position and its scary too.

[rubbersole]

1. Relationships are complex...

Hang in there. Family members should be respected...until they're not. You can't pick your family, but you can pick your life partner. And her daughter. Happy Thanksgiving.

[mopinko]

2. i think this happens in most relationships.

at least at 1 point or another, as sure as everyone gets buyer's remorse when they buy their 1st house.
i've had 5 guys in a row hit on me, and when i returned it, went into various stages of panic. it's been infuriating. i got back w an old bf, thinking that wouldnt happen. then it did. i still dont know what to do about that, except dragging it out of him, and make him face it.

love is terrifying. commitment is terrifying. and fear is a thief.
i do my best to give fear no quarter in my life at.all. obvs a goal i will never achieve. but i am almost always rewarded for putting my head down, choking the fear down, and doing it anyway.
fearlessness is a luxury you cant afford right now, i think. try anyway.

but ya know, you have to take ppl as they are. not how you think they are or want them to be. or need them to be. i had a long thing w a married man, and i could have been bugged by the constraints of that. punished him when he blew a date. fought w him when he let me down. or i could have a sweet thing that i rly needed. the cake was baked, i could enjoy it or not. i took it. i was never sorry.
and i think the key is to be grateful for what it is. to appreciate it as it happens.
good luck, my friend.