I guess dating in your 50's is like trying to find the dumpster fire you can be compatible with.
Having coffee this morning with friend of ours she worked with my wife she was informing 19 & 18 and i that it’s a challenge. She told us one guy wanted to have sex after the first date reason he paid for lunch.
I was well we all were laughing she told us he was cute in kind of a troll way even with the hair growing out of his ears and nose she said.
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Last edited Tue Dec 27, 2022, 10:47 AM - Edit history (1)
Turned out to be my current girlfriend, now of 10 months. I was at her family's for Christmas.
OK Cupid came back with her as my best match at 97.3% (after filling out like 150 questions each), and it turns out ... we're 2 peas in a pod. So much alike it's crazy.
And she's far more accomplished than I (she's a PA-C with certs in 8 states), makes double what I make, and is actually even more liberal than I am 
Sex on our first date was a given she told me after, as long as a) I looked like I did in the pics I showed her, and b) my personality IRL matched what she read in my texts, and c) she was feeling some in-person chemistry.
However, we'd been texting for like 10 days at that point, like ALL the time. We were fast friends, and had also spent a good amount time getting to know each other through many conversations ... before we went out.
Also, pro-tip guys (lol) ... turns out it works well for you if you don't bring up sex until the woman does, and then you ask for consent before talking explicitly to her ... go figure 
I was definitely NOT her first online date though to your point. But I myself can be a crazy lucky mofo every once in a while at least 
Funny story tho, for every inquiry from a single male, she got at least 1 from couples (from M-F, F-F, and M-M once or twice) inviting her to be the 3rd for their playtime.
It was fine, I'd met many of them a month before at her Aunt/Uncle's 50th wedding anniversary and a few of them at various other gatherings prior.
And yeah ... being real, I'm too old for bars. Besides, that's so 20th Century. I do a lot better talking to women (and everyone, really) when I have a bit of time to consider my questions and answers as is the case when one converses online. Bar convos are too high pressure for me. In my 20's and 30's I had some game, but not anymore
Last edited Wed Dec 28, 2022, 09:12 AM - Edit history (1)
Women with intellect, especially if not pearly white. You either find a longshot needle in a haystack or you are alone... with or without children.
It's not worth the trouble. I realized at my therapists a while back, that I have lived my entire life of 65+ years without love and affection from anyone anywhere. My parents didn't want me, I was darker than my mom and female, a curse at birth in their eyes. My mother, for the nine years she was around treated me like I would have no prospects for my future than to find some guy who wasn't too kinky or abusive to hatch out kids for and then be his slave for the rest of my life. Seriously that was the only future they saw for me. Not being pearly white was a life sentence for failure and servitude, especially if female. And they trained me by enslaving me to care for 24/7 their last three offspring for seven years.
I rejected that philosophy at a very early age and suffered for it until I left home at 16.
But I have a few friends and we care about each other and that's a comfort. I am reclusive partly because of my numerous bad experiences with people in general, I don't have the time to recover from each offensive encounter and continue to live my life.
I like the folks on DU, there are many others here who are suffering our society's failure to value those who are different and punishes them for not being what it claims they should be... like married and having kids and living the Ozzie and Harriet lifestyle which is the biggest crock of poo.
Thing is, I'm not the lone ranger. Back when I was dating, guys insisted, in California, that if they bought dinner you somehow owed them sex, even if it was just a bj. Not my thing so I figured out quickly that I was like meat on a hook. And, guys, like in the trucking world back then, expected that if you worked with them in a team, you were the "bunk warmer" and had to do your share and some of his share of the work. Every time I heard the lines coming from their mouths a few miles out of town, they would find themselves stranded at a truck stop or rest area and I would finish the trip solo. My favorite dumping ground was that rest area about an hour west of Lincoln, NE, Greyhound used to stop there.
I'm about done with my run on this planet and I don't feel sorry for myself nor do I regret insisting on my personal freedom, I've fucking paid for it.
Now I'm just an old woman getting wrinkly and tired, I'm kind of running out of fucks at this point.
I understand the biological differences and all that but our society is really sick and needs help when it comes to sex and gender issues.
PS: I love you and your boys' relationships and that you reflect on life the way that you do!
Experience and I had a lot of fun for a while. I had a kind of freedom that few enjoy and I made the most of it as I could. I mean, I also supported two sisters w/kids during and after their divorces for a few years each. So it wasn't all bad, there were a few spots where it sucked but what job doesn't have that?
I'm not angry, all those experiences taught me to take care of myself, depend on nobody else and gave me a sense of humor I didn't have when I was younger and angry.
I also went to college after that and that taught me about how to live after life on the road, so I came out with notable pluses, I just think it's sad that we have not made more progress in the humanity sector, as a people, as we have the potential for.
There are many men who would tell the woman to suck it up and take it because she wanted this job. The common excuse. But then, there are the guys like you who get it and take action.
Take care with the hazmat stuff and that's all I can say about that. I ran a tanker for a spell and that was the hardest, physically, job I ever had and I used to throw 44,000lbs of food once or twice a week. That's what injured me to where I had to consider retirement sooner than planned. It's al fine until something gets spilled or leaked!
It takes men with compassion and intellect to help women gain equality. Glad you're on our side! 
Of your tale is similar to mine. I'm content with myself and what I know that i am, had many try to make me believe otherwise. I'm not perfect but I am intelligent and find that is a barrier to romance but not friendships.
I don't feel sorry for myself, I may actually have inadvertently selected, by default, the best path for me in the long run.
We're probably the a same age too. 
…new year in whatever form you want.
Just had some sad news, but it’ll keep.
his daughter, seeing the car I drive (beat up and almost 20 years old), asked me if I thought her dad would buy me a new car....I didn't miss a beat....YES!!! I shouted.....that's always been my game plan: serve four years in the military, work full time in IT for over four decades and then start GOLD DIGGING! 
