I am so furious I can't see straight.

[Not Heidi]

My 16-y/o nephew injured his knee and elbow at work last night (McDonald's). (For starters, the manager didn't send him home. I doubt she even wrote it up.)

Myles asked his 'rents to take him to the ED. They refused, saying let's see how it feels in the morning. This morning, he said, "they didn't care."

I asked him how he'd feel if I talked to his mom about it. This was his reply:

"She never listens and she'll just yell at me for telling others our business. . . . Since I was little it's always been "What happens in our house stays in our house." So I get yelled at every time I mention something to someone."

He has a number of psychological problems, and terrible anxiety is a big one. He's not going to ask again to go to the doctor because they'll yell at him. Instant panic attack. Same for McDonald's: the thought of "rocking the boat" panics him.

I am so furious that I can't see straight. I am powerless from here, 1,800 miles away. But I'd be powerless there, too: I'm not his parent or guardian.

FUCK.
FUCK.
FUCK.

[whathehell]

1. Very sad..I can understand your feeling..

Unfortunately, I don't know what to advise..

Why don't you post this in the Mental Health Group -- They will likely have some good suggestions..I've posted there on occasion, with good results. Good luck to you and your nephew.

[dweller]

2. He's 16

He can take himself to the ER, report it as a work related injury, and let Workman’s Comp deal with it. Get it on record, and get him cared for.
His boss may have to report her side of the issue, but he will be heard and the issue will be on record.


✌🏻

[people]

4. Worker's Comp

Great and appropriate suggestion for him.

[Slammer]

6. Unfortunately

Unfortunately you have to rock the boat to get the ball rolling on that happening.

If he really suffers from anxiety, that's likely more than he's capable of dealing with.

Yeah, it's be best possible suggestion which can be made to him. But he's not likely able to follow through on it alone, without assistance from others (at least judging from my own experiences).

[Rebl2]

5. Exactly

He could likely go to a clinic as well and explain his parents reaction. His parents should be turned in to DFS of whatever state they live in.

[TalenaGor]

21. this x 1000

in most states its required that the employee be seen and receive care and be cleared to go back to work - MC'd should fill out an incident report and keep it on file until the WC paperwork comes through from the state....employee initiates everything when at the Dr - if manager is telling EE not to go they are violating the law

[MiniMe]

3. I wonder if they don't have insurance

Last edited Thu Dec 29, 2022, 12:27 AM - Edit history (1)

ER visits can be very expensive, especially if you don't have insurance

[rubbersole]

9. Thousands. Especially if there's imagining.

But I agree with the advice to get care and get it all on record. If the parents are struggling to keep the kids fed and the lights on, an ER expense is not possible. This is unbelievably common in working class America.

[ShazzieB]

12. My parents always objected stringently to emergency room trips for the reason.

We never had any health insurance, and "Wait and see how it feels by tomorrow" was my parents' approach to everything. We rarely even went to the doctor, and avoiding a trip to the ER in all but the most extreme circumstances was a recurring theme.

When i was 18 and my sister was 13, sis broke her arm. My mom called my dad at work, and sure enough, he tried to play the "wait and see" card. (Easy for him to say, because he wasn't there, listening to her screaming in pain. )

My mom wanted to take her to the ER, but she got off the phone wavering about what to do, because of my dad being against it. (Going against his wishes was NOT the done thing at our house.) I was able to convince her that it was the right thing to do, and off we went.

Sure enough, x-rays showed there was a fracture. It was just a hairline fracture, but it WAS a fracture. She got a cast, we went home, and Dad ended up paying the bill without letting out a peep. He never admitted being wrong about it (because Dad admitting he was ever wrong about anything wasn't the done thing at our house, either), but my sister got the medical care she needed, which was a win, as far as my mom and I were concerned.

Every time I hear about parents being adamantly opposed to ER trips, the insurance issue is the first thing I think of, because of the way my parents were.

[MiniMe]

13. I was lucky, we always had insurance when I was growing up

But no insurance was the first thing I thought of

[Not Heidi]

16. They have insurance.

Plus, WC/McD's would be on the hook for the bills.

[MiniMe]

17. True, but the manager didn't record the incident.

[No Vested Interest]

19. The insurance may have a large deductible not paid for this year.

Then family may be on the hook.
BTW - how is the injury today?
Does it still seem that ER is necessary?
Could a trip to urgent care or doctor's office be sufficient?

[IbogaProject]

24. Under 18 is CHIP

All children are covered, only issue is if there is a small premium or not but the social worker at the hospital can sort that out. And it does sound like being over 14, and especially 16 he can go himself. He's old enough to work so he must be eligible for WC and not letting him get checked isn't right. Now I'm sure fast food conglomerates are skilled at dodging Workman's Comp claims. A silver lining is the Child Health Insurance Program covers all kids no matter what, so he can get any diagnosis and scans as needed and whichever HMO is running that program will go after the employer after they pay for the care. Find the nearest public or nonprofit hospital to him. They are required to have charity care as well the private ones aren't required.

[TomDaisy]

8. call CPS and make an anonymous report

[debm55]

10. Not Heidi, hate to say this but some parents just don't give a shit about their kids.Is their any

Last edited Thu Dec 29, 2022, 09:35 AM - Edit history (3)

relatives that live nearby that can help with the situation. Living like that, no wonder the kid has problems. Do they have a regular family doctor? I don't know if CHIP is still availabe at his age.

[Joinfortmill]

14. I hear you. But know it's huge that he has you.

I prayed for him.

[Riverman100]

15. Damn

I've been faced with something similar........ those who care should be in charge

[dflprincess]

18. It's clearly a Worker's Comp claim

If you speak to him again tell him, if he can, to record every thing. How it happened, the time, manager's reaction, etc.

I don't know what state he's in but his manager will regret not writing this up if the laws are anything like Minnesota. And that includes filing a report with the state as well as the WC insurance company.

[Bayard]

20. Can he go by himself?

[Stargazer99]

22. Goes to show what a FAILURE capitalism is when people

are afraid to get care when they need it even kids

[summer_in_TX]

23. With his youth and anxiety, I'd suggest a local advocate for him.

Does he have any local adult or relative who takes an interest in him who could accompany him to seek medical care?

Maybe also, even before then, to let the manager at Mickey D's know that his knee and elbow injury is going to need medical attention and that he'll be asking for Worker's Compensation coverage.

He sounds like he may have some PTSD which combined with his anxiety will make it likely that he has trouble thinking it through clearly and communicating it well on his own. That's my experience with someone dealing with similar family issues and complex PTSD.

Maybe he can think of someone like that. Maybe a retiree who would enjoy being useful and needed. I know that would motivate me!

[Cha]

25. Ohh.. I'm so sorry...

Poor thing. I hope his knee and elbow heal anyway!

Way to take care of your employees.. mcjunkfood.

[RainCaster]

26. He needs an advocate, that is you

You are the closest thing he has to an advocate. Disfunctional family dynamics be damned, show him that somebody cares about him.