I feel like there should be a 60,000 mile tune-up available for humans.

[GoneOffShore]

I'm going in for an abdominal hernia operation today, the result of the laparoscopic prostatectomy five years ago (Not malpractice, just aging muscles giving way).
I've been told by my ophthalmologist that cataract surgery is on the horizon - "I can give you the most perfect glasses in the world, but if the windows are dirty, they aren't going to help. You're past 70. Things fall off and don't work as well". Just my luck to get an ironic French doctor.
The little 'taches' (actinic keratoses) on my forehead are going to have to come off.
And let's not even go on about the 'stress urination' when sneezing or laughing due to the lack of a second washer which came out when the prostate came out.
It would be great if we could get a tune up at 50 to keep this crap from happening.

[chia]

1. Wishing you the best outcomes for all these things.

No one knows, when they’re young, what lies in wait for them when they’re older. 🫠

[MiHale]

2. I'm in a ongoing competition with my car...

a 2004 Chevy Suburban to see who “rusts out” first. We both leave body parts by the side of the road.

[Historic NY]

20. LOL I had a 2000 the brakes lines rusted out and they (GM) said it was Northeast Weather...

Meanwhile in 2022 I'm recuperating from a busted up shoulder operation in Sept to repair it. Who knew my PT was a physical terrorist.
And in the process of the surgery I spent 2 1/2 hours in a cardiac cath lab where they fixed a deadly blockage and actually restored a normal rhythm that I never had. The Dr. said we have parts to fix things. Meanwhile, I have a lot of extra things that potentially will drive TSA nuts at the airport.

[MiHale]

26. Hip replacement...

Aortic Aneurysm fixed, quad by-pass, cataracts out.

Car…replaced the whole compartment where you put gas into can’t remember the name, disabled ABA cause it works that way, tire pressure sensor quirky, headliner saggy, car had cataracts …replaced headlights.

List it out I think I’m ahead! 😂😂😂

[GoneOffShore]

36. Sounds like the car is nickel and diming you. Good luck.

Our 2009 Renault just passed its inspection, so it's good for another two years.

[KarenS]

3. Good luck to you with your health!

If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.

Don't know who said it, but I live it each day I am 73 btw.

[Walleye]

6. You said a truth there, sister. They promised us a nuclear holocaust, instead we lived to be old

Like I said, not that I’m complaining. My mom died at age 70 of colon cancer. My boyfriend of 30 years, heart attack, age 69. Yet life goes on

[Walleye]

4. Don't know how many times I've compared my body to an aging car

I have had cars with hundred thousand miles on them. I know if you get one thing fixed another major thing goes wrong. Now I’m 73, I’ve had breast cancer, I’m going to the dentist today probably have to get a molar extracted, chronic sinusitis is driving me crazy, and my right shoulder is completely gone out of commission. Already had both knees totally replaced 10 years ago. But who is complaining? What worries me is I will look back on this, if I live long enough, as the good old days. So we have to accept the fact it’s all repair and maintenance from now on and that’s if we’re lucky

[PatSeg]

14. Yes, I've compared my body

to an aging car many times as well. I don't think anything quite prepared me for it. Some things can be tweaked and tuned, but others just aren't going to ever work quite right again no matter what is done. Not everything can be "fixed", only maintained somewhat.

[Walleye]

15. So sad and so true. We boomers just kind of flung our bodies around

They say you gotta pay for your sins

[PatSeg]

24. And in the end,

no matter what you did or didn't do, age will catch up with you. We all have an expiration date give or take a few years.

[Walleye]

25. I often think that it is that awareness of our own mortality that makes us human

[bottomofthehill]

5. I am with you.

I feel broken. It is getting harder and harder to get up and go.

[lambchopp59]

7. In my sing-songy voice: "That's why I'm retiring soon".

It's to the point I have to drag a whole big bag of geezer supplies with me to work. Soon as my truck's paid off it's time to collect my SSRI before these republican fux steal it all.
I'm fortunate to have found a gig that's mostly just "duty time". I couldn't handle most of the gigs I've worked in the past anymore. Hoping to high hell my next surgery doesn't involve major component excision. But my surgeon has permission to proceed on the spot if scoped findings are ominous. He knows I want to limit the number of times I'm knocked out. I seem to get really post-anesthesia wacky for a few weeks anymore.

[twodogsbarking]

8. Better health care in America.

Had hernia surgery six weeks ago. Nerve pain is gone, I think.
Hang in.

[GoneOffShore]

34. Let's see, two nights in hospital, surgery, anesthesia, visiting nurse to change dressings,

Ambulance home, pain meds - total cost around 1200€ of which I will most likely get 600€ back.

I was lucky, I didn't have nerve pain, I just looked the Alien was about to pop out. Now my shirts are going to fit better.

[twodogsbarking]

38. I had terrific care. Everyone was great. Should be that way for all.

The OR was the brightest thing I ever saw. All 30 seconds.

[GoneOffShore]

39. Yep. My OR had windows. And I only saw the anesthesia techs.

The surgeon visited me in the evening.

And everyone was fabulous - well, there was one Nurse Ratchet, but I only saw her at the end of her shift, and then never again.

[Turbineguy]

9. My body is festooned with scars

I don't need tattoos, I have surgeons' initials carved all over.

[onethatcares]

10. I was going to add to this

but I can't remember what I was going to add...

[Earth-shine]

11. Sometime after turning 45, coughing, sneezing, pissing, and sh*ting

ceased to be separate activities.

One activity can immediately trigger the others.

I leave you all with these words of wisdom handed down to me by someone older and wiser than I, never trust a fart.

[GoneOffShore]

35. Indeed. And I don't.

[Ferrets are Cool]

12. 50 was great....it didn't really hit me until I turned 60.

I am very fortunate that everything is still working pretty good, but damn, it certainly is harder to get around now.

[AverageOldGuy]

13. I'm with you, bro' !!!

Getting old is not for sissies.

[3Hotdogs]

16. I have the T shirt you have probably seen advertised: "Made in the 40's, original parts.

Most still work."

I turned 80 in October. Everything, except cataract lenses are original. Never had surgery for anything else. Never missed a day at school (pissed off my teachers). Never missed a day of work. Still hiking 3 or 4 times a week.

If I keeled over tomorrow, I would say my body gave me a good trip.

SO...

I show up at primary office for covid. I have it, but not severe. Been going there for 25 years or so.

Conversations and instructions end and he starts to walk out the door. Then he stops and turns to me.

"You're my hero. If I make 80, I wanna be in the shape you're in."


Even though it is genetics and I had/have no control over it, I felt a little glow of pride.

[LittleGirl]

17. I have surgery scheduled in 2 weeks

I was born with one of those gene mutations that has kept me going to doctors since I was a child. Now over 60, I had a tooth pulled last month, two more planned after a new bridge molded, lumpectomy last year and surgery coming for my torn tendon. The pain started in March (many moons ago from gardening) and it’s finally getting done this month. Thank goodness I have hubby to help me recover. Otherwise I’d be in rehab for weeks.

As a woman, I have been blown off and discounted all of those years! I’m fed up. I don’t trust any of them because one bad move, one overlooked action and I could be dead.

I’ve used the 100k mile inspection fail just last week. Hubby laughed.

I hope everything goes well for you.

[HAB911]

18. I'm right there with you

At least we can revel in having the best medical system in the world

[GoneOffShore]

37. And that's one of the reason's I moved to France.

[barbtries]

19. look at it this way:

you're just getting tuned up.

i have a litany of crap too. when the vitreous in my right eye detached last year, I asked the doctor, "this happened because I'm old, right?" and he said, "you're not old (I was not quite 67 at the time), you're getting old. And yes, that's why this happened."

I was just commiserating with my sister yesterday about all this crap that comes with age. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't think about the little stuff anymore. She's lost her ability to drive a car or live independently, and now, she can think something and in the amount of time for the thought to get out her mouth, it's gone. Our conversations are interspersed with long silences as she tries to recover what it was she was just about to say. Often, she says, "nope. it's gone."

all a matter of perspective. Hope your surgery goes well and is successful. My surgery for kidney stones is Friday and I'm kinda nervous about it, but I have a super bug and it's thought that this multi drug resistant e coli is being seeded by these stones. Hopefully it allows for a cure.

goin' in for a tune up.

[GoneOffShore]

33. Back home, surgery was successful. Good luck on Friday.

I spent two nights in hospital, which wasn't bad, except for the food.

And sorry to hear about your sister. That's a tough thing to happen.

[barbtries]

40. thanks goneoffshore!

I'm glad your tuneup was successful. Hopefully mine will be as well and I'll be able to clear the infection for once and all.

[milestogo]

21. You go to the doctor to talk about one issue that's bothering you

and then they find five other things during the exam and workup.

And you come home from the doctor with homework about changing your lifestyle.

[CousinIT]

22. I was diagnosed with cataracts justs over 55. Consider yourself lucky on that. n/t

[GoneOffShore]

32. I do. And now that the other surgery is done, I'll get on the cataracts.Probably have to wait though

I'm in France, after all.

[yellowdogintexas]

23. "If you live long enough you will have everything "

A physician friend said this to me many years ago.

How long it takes you to have everything depends on:
1. Your gender
2. Your gene pool
3. How well you have taken care of yourself.

Obviously men do not have hysterectomies and women do not have prostate disorders Other than that anything goes.

Just turned 74 and so far only cataracts, and a hysterectomy about 28 years ago. At least as far as serious stuff goes. Since my grandmother lived to be 102 and all but one of her siblings lived up into their 80s I hope my gene pool leans toward that side of my family!

[GoneOffShore]

31. Ah yes, the gene pool lottery. I think I've come out pretty well on that score.

Paternal grandmother lasted into her 90's, and my maternal grandmother was too mean to die early.

[yellowdogintexas]

42. my paternal grandmother lived to 102

Her hair was still dark, she had all of her teeth and was still in possession of her faculties. She had macular degeneration though; that is the one part of that gene pool I would pass on.


my maternal grandmother died of cancer in 1944. Cancer gallops in that part of my family

[jimlup]

27. At 65 I have bad news...

I had the same surgery at 60 but since then I've had a hip replacement. My other hip is now going too so I'm looking at a 2nd hip replacement in the next two years, maybe sooner....

Sigh!

[GoneOffShore]

30. I don't have any issues with my hips, so that's a good thing. And I'm doing nothing about the knees

Because they work, and I don't want to chance screwing them up.

[LudwigPastorius]

28. You should have gotten the undercoating/extended warranty package.

[GoneOffShore]

29. I asked about that, and they said that since I was over 50 I couldn't get it.

[friend of a friend]

41. I just checked my list of health problems on the VA Healthcare.

I was surprised to see only 53 things listed.