Does anybody want to hear about my virtual colonoscopy?

[cyclonefence]

I'm 75 and normally would be done with colonoscopies, but I have a strong family history of colon cancer. My gastro guy prefers not to sedate me for a regular colonoscopy because I have lung problems.

The prep was easy and the same as for a regular colonoscopy. My doctor uses the Miralax/Gatorade process, much nicer than drinking a gallon of that awful stuff. In addition I had to drink three tiny bottles of stuff after meals and then a bottle of awful stuff (but it was small and I got it down in one gulp) to make my innards radioactive or something (the test is done with an MRI machine).

The colonoscopy itself was worse than a regular one, though, because I didn't get any Versed or other fine drugs. They put a small balloon up my butt and inflated it. This was not painful but weird. Then they shot me through the machine in three positions: back, side, stomach. It was hard for me to breathe, especially on my stomach, but that was all that was tough except for no drugs.

If I didn't have breathing problems it would have been a walk in the park, but if I didn't have breathing problems I wouldn't have had a virtual one, so what are you going to do?

Oh, and also: I knew they were going to put air into my colon, but I didn't know about the balloon. I was looking forward to farting the house down.

[Eliot Rosewater]

1. Why no Versed?

PS for others who will do this again there is a new pill version that is much easier, the prep.

ask doc for SUTAB

[bamagal62]

4. I've just been prescribed SUTAB.

But, I’m terrified I won’t be able to swallow them or choke on them. They’re huge. It’s A LOT of pills. Considering calling back and requesting the liquid.
Would love more info about them.

[MissB]

9. The liquid is awful.

Dh has had both; he much prefers the horse pills. He doesn’t love pills.

Again, the liquid stuff is awful. I was so mad to find out I could’ve avoided it. Next time!

[Eliot Rosewater]

11. My SO who has trouble with big pills had no problem with these and

her experience was a "breeze" compared to the other stuff.

I had just gone thru it but was prescribed the gallons of horrible thick, disgusting goop and it made me sick everytime I drank it.

If you can swallow these pills, they are by far the better way to go.

[cyclonefence]

15. The liquid *is* awful, and there's so much of it

but the liquid prep my doctor used was a breeze. You mix 4 oz of Miralax (the small bottle) with a 32 oz bottle of Gatorade or some other liquid on their list--I used Crystal Lite--and drink a glass every 15 minutes until it's gone. That's at noon. Then you do the same thing at 3. Then you have to drink a tiny bottle of something to make your guts glow in the MRI, so I don't think you'd have to do that part for a regular colonoscopy.

The pills sound a lot easier, but if for some reason you can't take the pills, I'd definitely ask my doctor about the Miralax/Gatorade option. It's a thousand times easier than the gallon of liquefied shit I had to drink last time.

[bamagal62]

19. We'll my other option

is 2 16oz solutions. So, not the gallon stuff.

[cyclonefence]

20. Oh, 2 16oz sounds like a walk in the park, as long as it's not that bottled snot

Good luck!

[bamagal62]

21. 😂😂😂

[cyclonefence]

14. That's what I kept asking

Why can't I have versed anyway? They thought I was joking.

[Eliot Rosewater]

16. I always ask before any procedure if I am getting anesthesia and why kind, I even tell

them taht i have a high tolerance to versed and that unless they have an anesthesiologist on board to give me more than the nurse is able to give they may want to use something else.

I think they used propofol on me last time due to this.

[Walleye]

2. I am doing my colonoscopy this year have a family history of it

I hope they have improved the prep

[MissB]

10. Definitely go for the pills

instead of the liquid!

[DBoon]

3. TMI

[Coventina]

13. You clicked on it!!

[Abolishinist]

5. When I first read this, not knowing there's such a thing as a virtual colonoscopy, I

thought this was some sort of Zoom meeting where you somehow did the procedure yourself. I know, I know.

[ret5hd]

6. "Jeebus Crist, doc...if I get it any closer to the camera...

I’ll be legally required to start an OnlyFans channel!”

[Abolishinist]

12. Reminded me of one of my favorite movie lines.

From Tootsie....

[LudwigPastorius]

7. "Does anybody want to hear about my virtual colonoscopy?"

"What is...

the worst cocktail party icebreaker of all time?"

[Turbineguy]

8. According to Billy Connolly....

[in2herbs]

17. I don't want to be a downer, I just want to share with a warning attached. My H had a

regular C at age 75 and was clean. In fact the dr jokingly told him he never wanted to see him again.

Three months later he was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. He chose not to have any treatment so guess what happened to him?

So watch for any changes and when no changes occur, be joyous.

[cyclonefence]

18. Just got the call from my doctor's office

all clear, hallelujah. I don't know how frequently I'm going to have this done--my husband, also 75, was told he was done with them for the rest of his life, but he has no family history of colon cancer. In my father's family, they all got it, so I'm vigilant. I don't think you're being a downer at all, btw, just thoughtful and generous to use your sad experience to warn people that nothing in this life is certain.

[in2herbs]

22. TY. nt