Asking my DU family for help
Years ago, I received a lot of help from DU when my family was going through a very difficult time. I'm asking for help again, albeit for a different reason.
I am the estate executor for my parents. My mom died in 2020 and ny dad followed at the end of summer in 2021. From there, I was made executor, which has been a freakin' process. I just recently sold the house, but it still needs to be emptied. We've been working on this for a year, but it's 46 years and our resources are extremely limited. We're still recovering from pandemic job loss as well as job limits that came from caring for my dad and his estate.
I've been doing most of the cleanout myself with some help from friends, but it is 46 years worth of stuff and just seems to regenerate. lol to complicate matters I am dealing with a very mentally unwell brother who is threatening me a lot over this estate and I am just trying to get all of this done and over with soon.
If you can donate towards the cleanup and temporary storage process it would be very appreciated. I would also appreciate it if you could share or bump this. Thank you.
Here is my link:
https://gofund.me/c674ed8b
= new reply since forum marked as read
in the past ten years a couple family members have passed and I held my sister's hand for emotional support while she served as executor, one by default, of both estates. The first one was a horrible mess, no will, a house under water, the house was messed up inside and debts. It took several years for the dust to settle, I have a 2" thick file regarding the whole thing for my involvement.
The second one was a whole thing she actually planned and set up for a parent and that was easy peasy when all the legal stuff came up. It really helps to write a will, handwritten wills are legal in all states, I think.
A good friend also just finished settling his mother's estate in a different state, he's relieved that the house is sold and he's free from traveling to that place so often over the past few years.
It takes a while for everything to finalize, be strong, you'll get there. 
I am sorry you have dealt with several losses, too. It's been such a process. I always thought it was quicker, but have learned from several friends that it can take a few years. The pandemic hasn't helped. The guy at the Registry of Wills said things were just moving so much slower in all areas. Thankfully, my dad had a will. He did one of those Legal Zoom DIY wills. He had a handwritten addendum, which was easy enough. He did have a bunch of debt, including a big mortgage and medical bills, but it's nothing outrageous. The house needed a LOT of work so we sold "as is," but I think we still did okay. My biggest problem has been my older brother. He is not well mentally and he was so angry to find that I was executor. He is very focused on getting money and wants a certain amount that just isn't happening. I've dealt with verbal attacks and threats from him. It's made everything much more stressful than it already needed to be.
On the bright side, every single person it every single agency/business that I have had to deal with has been so so kind. Sure, it's overwhelming and frustrating, but the people truly make a difference.
I'm very sad to say goodbye to my childhood home, but I look forward to the future and new memories.
And my Dad made me executor, too, when he first made his will years ago. I was pretty surprised since I'd have thought he'd choose one of the "adults," but he made the right choice - I ended up being executor for my mother who was the last of their generation. *sigh*
Kicking this back to the top! 
My mom would have been the original executor, but she died before him. So, his will has me listed as second and my brother listed as third. I knew this was coming because my dad showed me the will after my mom died. He knew he had a funky diagnosis and I think he wanted us to be prepared and to know where all the paperwork was and what it contained.
Thank you again. Big hugs to you.
Went through that several years ago. Still have stuff in storage I need to deal with. Best wishes.
My mom also kept things for my kids. She stored useful stuff - like kitchen gadgets, housewares, etc because she was hoping to send them off with me when I got a house. Sadly, we've been in and out of a poverty cycle for years and have lived in the same very shitty apartment with no storage for quite a long time. I can't keep a lot of kitchen and housewares because there is no room here. So, a lot has had to go.
It's painful. On one hand, I know we can't be attached to everything. You just can't keep everything. On the other hand, I feel the same as you - everything representing home has been yanked from under my feet. Including the home. It's always been a safe place for me and my kids and now that era is over. I've had to be brutal about decluttering. A friend of mine has come over a lot to help me process and let go because they know I am super sentimental. I've literally looked into full bins and said, "fuck it....just take it and donate it all.
And my tree. I know the new people will take it down. It was planted when I was a baby. I'm heartbroken.
I'm sorry you have had to deal with both the loss of your mom and cleaning out an estate, too. It's such a mentally and physically exhausting process.
Hoping your situation starts looking brighter as well.
