Ongoing sister problem, just had the cops here.

[Archae]

The sister (a mooch) who I spoke about here:

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181795206

Showed up at my door, obviously totally strung out on something.
I wouldn't open the door, and said I was calling the cops.

Cops take 15 minutes to get here, my sister is still at the door, banging on it, they cuff her.
She screams that she's going to sue them, have them fired, and hits one of them.
She's put in the back of the cop car, my neighbors are watching, and one says, "I had a relative like that for a long time, until he OD'd and died."

So now my sister is in very big trouble, and she is blaming me.

You see, she needed $50 for gas money.
(Actually money for her pusher)

And I said like before, NO.

[RockRaven]

1. I'm sorry you had to experience that.

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your siblings...

I may have gotten that saying wrong. Anyway, it's still true.

[Archae]

2. I know.

I have one sister who had 2 aneurysms, and she's nice but not really right, and I have the sister who only sees us as her ATM machine so she can get more dope.

[MuseRider]

3. So sorry.

I have a brother like that. He wrecked a good part of my life destroying property out here where I let him live for a good long while. I finally told him no more a few months ago. It feels bad but it finally had to be. It really sucks to be put in that position but it was better than calling the cops on him again. I was the only person he had, the rest of the family has been gone a long time.

Try not to feel too bad, the only way out is for them to learn to live without depending on you. It does suck to be that person.

[Archae]

4. I'm hoping this is her "rock bottom."

And now she gets help.

[MuseRider]

6. I hope you are right.

It has taken my brother about 40 years to get to here. I think I might never know where he ends up.

[Deuxcents]

5. Tough love is hard but sounds like you're doing it out of love for her..

I’ve read a few of your posts and she’s not been honest with you so I’m thinking this is all so exasperating. She’s making her choices and you’ve put the line in the sand. Never easy but maybe someday she’ll get straight as she realizes you’re not an enabler. My best to you.

[Hekate]

7. I am so sorry. Ironically, at least one of your neighbors knows exactly what you're going thru...

… and I would hope is in sympathy.

All the best to you, and may this be your sister’s turning point.

[Warpy]

8. AlAnon can help, they're for family and friends of alcoholics and addicts

and everybody's story is depressingly similar. I know because I've been there, too.

She's your sister, you want to help, but helping became enabling a long time ago. Getting her off whatever shit she's on is no longer your job and hasn't been for a very long time. It's her job. She might not want to do that job and someday that will kill her.

Alcoholics and addicts tend to suck everybody else down with them, making their family and friends even sicker than they are. If you're interested in the cheapest therapy out there, AlAnon is in the phone directory and there are groups online.

Good luck. Cutting her off from her last ditch money supply is good. Learning how to set some limits with her is better, allowing you to keep what's left of the sister you remember from childhood while not being exploited by the manipulative abuser she is now.

Lesson #1: getting high is everything to her. She might really want to help you out but if some friend of hers has some drugs, she'll drop you flat on your face to go get high. It's not who she wants to be. It's who she is.

[WheelWalker]

10. Strength and honor.

[MLAA]

11. I'm sending you a hug.

[Aussie105]

12. Sister needs help.

The problem is one not of the sort $50 can sort out. That would make you an enabler.
Not a problem a brother can help with.
You did the right thing, even though it hurts.

Yes, she will blame you. And anyone who is not her.
If she knew where the problem came from, whose job it is to undo it, she would have already done that.

Hopefully she will kick off for the police big time and be rewarded with a stint in enforced detox.

Went through this with a relative.
Not nice, but it should end well, hopefully.

[C Moon]

13. Never been a drug addict, but I feel sorry for them. It must be horrible.

As with any addiction, it's also horrible for those around them. Sorry you have to deal with this.

[mvd]

14. So sorry to hear

You are definitely doing her a favor by doing what you did. Keep us updated and hope things improve.

[Hugh_Lebowski]

15. Jail is a place for many an epiphany in this regard

I would bet that with at least 80% of people who've attained long-lasting sobriety ... it began in jail, or at minimum, the seeds for it were set there.

At a certain point, no matter how much you love someone ... you gotta let them pay the piper in hopes that life will kick them upside the head hard enough that they decide they can't keep doing this shit.

For me it was facing homelessness, not jail ... but everyone's bottom is different. And my mom and gf (later wife) were my rocks. Not everyone has those kinds of resources/people who love them.

I wish your family well

[DFW]

16. I have a good friend in Dallas who has been bled dry by an addict daughter.

He used to be worth half a million dollars at age 50. Then his daughter got addicted to painkillers, and due to his paying for a dozen rehabs which she always skips out on, at age 83, he has to keep working, and will die in debt. Having blown what meager cash he was able to spare for her, she dumped her own daughter on him five years ago, and recently moved in, herself. At age 50+, she still calls him at the office between five and ten times a day, telling him what she “needs.” I told him that what she needs is a big kick in the ass out into the street. How DARE she bleed an 83 year old father to the point where he will never have the means to really ever have any fun again in life, and all due to her slavery to her addiction? He HATES to talk about this, and only tells me as a decades-long friend.

I recently sent him a check for no reason, but with the explicit instructions to spend it on himself, and not his daughter. I’m sure he tried to, and failed. I told no one but my wife and my top superior, who ordered me to let him pay me back for half of it. He likes my friend as much as I do, and had no idea how badly off he was. I said no, but he insisted. There is a reason I have been working for this outfit for 48 years uninterrupted. I’ve never the misfortune to go through this, but people close to me have, and I like it plenty those high up that can help less-well-off team members in trouble not only offer to do so, but insist on it.

[irisblue]

17. I am so sorry

[TomSlick]

18. It won't help but you did the right thing.

Giving her money for more drugs is the worst thing you could have done.

I hope that she someday asks you for real help.

[UTUSN]

19. Me/sorry.