Here's my list of precious, priceless shit that none of you thought to get me for Xmas (DIAL-UP WARN

[MiddleFingerMom]

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1. A 26-lb Gummi Bear -- by the time even the most ENTHUSIASTIC Gummi Bear
fan could finish one of THESE off, it would probably be covered in fingerprints
and cat hair. YUMMY!!!
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2. An adult-sized Big Wheel --- FUCK taking the bus!!!!
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3. An armadillo beer-holder. I would start drinking a LOT of beer again with this as an incentive!!! Though not even THIS could help Lone Star beer.
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4. A bubble-wrap calendar -- that sucker would be all popped-out withing an HOUR of opening!!!
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5. A magic-wand remote control -- like Peter Sellers in "Being There", I'd look confused if it didn't work IRL.
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6. A mustache mirror -- I wouldn't have to shave to get that well-groomed look of antiquity!!!
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7. Construction cutlery -- more fun than an airplane comin' in for a landing!!! Open wide, honey!!!!
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8. A pierogi ornament -- destined (as it says in the copy) to become a family heirloom
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9. A pocket chainsaw -- I can see it now... MiddleFingerMom stars in "The Arizona Pocket Chainsaw Massacre."
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10. And most of all -- MOST OF ALL -- the In-Ground Zombie Statue!!!
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Oh... and this!!!
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[nolabear]

1. You've been hitting the Sky Mall again haven't you?

The on;y place I've ever seen any of those is out of the pocket on the back of an airplane seat. I don't know if it's the excruciating boredom or the oxygen deprivation but at the time I often find myself saying "Hey! My dooryard would look AWESOME with that zombie!"

(Where can I get that construction equipment cutlery? Hmmmm?)

[MiddleFingerMom]

3. Some of those ARE kinda cool, huh?

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Amazon has some of the cutlery. I found that and the following site by
Googling "plastic construction silverware" (after I had seen it without
any text info about it).
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This place has the matching plate (UBER-COOL -- there's a slot for the
spoon and a ramp for the bulldozer to load that spoon) -- though they're
probably sold out for right now because of Xmas.
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http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/construction-plate-utensils?9gtype=search&9gkw=construction%20flatware&gclid=CJitgL_foq0CFQSFhwodmzMikw&9gad=4572820317
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[nadine_mn]

4. I get the Uncommon Goods catalog and ALMOST got the construction set plate and cutlery for hubby

You know, since he wouldn't tell me what he wanted for Christmas.

Uncommon Goods has the best shit for people who have everything.


so the pocket chainsaw? Is that for when you get trapped under a log and have to decide to cut your leg off or die?

[Duer 157099]

10. Well I don't know if that's what the pocket chainsaw is for

but that is an AWESOME potential use for it! I might have to buy one, y'know, just in case.

[Archae]

2. I want that bank!

It's adorable!

[Phentex]

5. I like the armadillo!

I'll have to remember that for you next year!

[Xipe Totec]

6. That chainsaw looks mighty handy, especially for those pesky ground zombies. nt

[demtenjeep]

7. I want the bubble wrap calendar

its cool

[snagglepuss]

13. Me too.

[Kali]

8. if I watched tee vee

I would totally want that magic wand.

construction utensils are pretty cool too.

[Texasgal]

9. The construction cutlery is

pretty dang cool!

I have a three your old nephew that loves helping Mom cook in the kitchen! I think this would be an awesome little gift!

Did you post a contact?

[MiddleFingerMom]

11. See Post #3 for one specific link and Google phrase to use to find others, n/t

[Major Nikon]

12. I thought about getting you a Jesus toaster

http://www.amazon.com/Burnt-Impressions-jesus247-Jesus-Toaster/dp/B0042QRYO8

Then I was going to get you one of these, but I didn't think it went back far enough...
http://shop.breakupornaments.com/Break-Up-Ornament-BU-ORNAMENT.htm

[snagglepuss]

14. I want the Big Wheel. I want I want I want.