Wealthy Couple Taking Real Vacation For First Time In Weeks

[Zorro]

MUSTIQUE ISLAND, WEST INDIES—Expressing gratitude for a chance to finally get away from their hectic lives and actually relax for once, wealthy couple George and Jillian Wheelan told reporters Thursday they were taking a real vacation for the first time in weeks.

“I can’t believe we waited so long to pull the trigger, but after 14 whole days, we’re finally able to go on this amazing trip together,” said Jillian, adding that she and her husband would have gone sooner, but they could barely find the time between the hours of work and the dozens of other vacations they had taken this year.

“I’ll be honest, it’s been really hard getting through this past half a month with our trips to Turks and Caicos, the Maldives, and the Bahamas. But at the end of the day, all our hard work generating passive income paid off. I really hope the three months we’re spending on a private island in the West Indies is enough.”

At press time, the couple reportedly told themselves that if they just kept their noses to the grindstone, they could retire in a few months and go on vacation every day.

https://www.theonion.com/wealthy-couple-taking-real-vacation-for-first-time-in-w-1850368966

[FoxNewsSucks]

1. If only that really were satire.

[3Hotdogs]

3. It is satire.

[cstanleytech]

4. I knows satire but wish I was weathly and could do those kind of vacations.

Of course even if by some miracle I would hit a decent sized lottery at my age doubt I would as I would probably find myself even lonelier when traveling than I do sitting at home alone currently.

[Warpy]

6. Yes, we could encourage them to zipline and rock climb

and skydive and do all the fabulous things in travel magazines. Hand feeding sharks. Lion petting zoos. Let them have real experiences, we can set up their beach chairs and drinks tables under spreading manchineel trees for quality relaxation.

Sailing off Turks & Caicos? The Maldives? My dear, the upper middle class has discovered those, all those dreary architects and bank managers. George and Jillian are ready for the next level!

(Who says the people at The Onion are the only ones who have thought of this stuff?)

[niyad]

5. I had to check the link.