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AZLD4Candidate

(6,781 posts)
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 09:57 AM Sep 2023

So someone in a facebook group I'm in posts "Jesus is coming soon."

He got angry when I said "tell him to pull out if he isn't wearing a condom."

Another guy posted "he's been coming for 2500 years. Get over it." I replied: "Wow, that is one epic money shot."

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So someone in a facebook group I'm in posts "Jesus is coming soon." (Original Post) AZLD4Candidate Sep 2023 OP
We could settle one argument when he gets here, ask him if he's been here before Walleye Sep 2023 #1
Jesus who? Is he crossing the border legally? Chainfire Sep 2023 #2
You wouldn't think he'd want to come back Ocelot II Sep 2023 #3
INdeed. 2naSalit Sep 2023 #4
Jesus would be getting GOP death threats as soon as he returned. Irish_Dem Sep 2023 #6
Plus his skin's a little darker than they like to portray. CrispyQ Sep 2023 #10
Article Wednesdays Sep 2023 #18
"The SoTM is outdated. Pinback Sep 2023 #23
And if JC does indeed return . . . RobertDevereaux Sep 2023 #5
How to tell if end-timers with their books, videos, rallies, are sincere::: keithbvadu2 Sep 2023 #7
A lot of them think they'll be whisked up to heaven in their glorious rapture. CrispyQ Sep 2023 #24
My usual response: "I didn't know he was even breathing hard." Wounded Bear Sep 2023 #8
When I find myself in times of trouble, I ask myself what Jesus would do EYESORE 9001 Sep 2023 #9
I'm stealing this... Ocelot II Sep 2023 #14
I'm going to start doing that... MontanaMama Sep 2023 #17
Lmaooooo vercetti2021 Sep 2023 #11
I have a neighbor who has been regaling everyone with her dreams louis-t Sep 2023 #12
Do they have good stuff you might want when they float away? Ocelot II Sep 2023 #15
Ha! louis-t Sep 2023 #50
Tell them the rapture has already happened and they are still here with us. keithbvadu2 Sep 2023 #34
Please, keep an eye on them and if they float away give the rest of us a heads-up. Midnight Writer Sep 2023 #39
Every day he fails to show up.... TheRealNorth Sep 2023 #13
Repent, Heretic! Sky Jewels Sep 2023 #28
While standing in store's check-out line, the guy in front had on a cap with the word "bible" spike jones Sep 2023 #16
So many religious people are never challenged for their silly ideas Farmer-Rick Sep 2023 #21
... Sky Jewels Sep 2023 #30
Well, not really. I had fellow atheists in high school Warpy Sep 2023 #42
That "no atheists in foxholes" thing is such bullshit. Sky Jewels Sep 2023 #43
Believers in foxholes think their god(s) will save them at the last minute Warpy Sep 2023 #46
" I like questions. Religious people want answers. . . " Collimator Sep 2023 #47
My ex was a Deist Warpy Sep 2023 #48
No one knows seabiscuit5920 Sep 2023 #19
If they actually read their Bible Mblaze Sep 2023 #20
He came back but... Farmer-Rick Sep 2023 #22
😀 Mblaze Sep 2023 #37
So, I guess we're all in hell right now? Ugh...It's 4ever.... LeftInTX Sep 2023 #53
He shows up spouting is beliefs and/or options, he will get shot by RWNJ's. republianmushroom Sep 2023 #25
Just encountered a link to this list on an atheist forum. Collimator Sep 2023 #26
Quick -- everyone look busy ! nt eppur_se_muova Sep 2023 #27
Russia...Russia...Russia... czarjak Sep 2023 #29
Ask him if he thinks Jesus spouted weak, woke, liberal crap that doesn't work today. 4lbs Sep 2023 #31
No, but he said Jesus was Christian and being Jewish, I'm denying him AZLD4Candidate Sep 2023 #32
Ah. Ok. 4lbs Sep 2023 #33
So Jesus is coming? mwooldri Sep 2023 #35
He's not even The Wizard Sep 2023 #36
An old joke The Mouth Sep 2023 #38
Jesus may be scared off when he is greeted by a huge crowd carrying crosses. Midnight Writer Sep 2023 #40
The rapture occurred in 1996. The only person who went was Joe from Accounting. Midnight Writer Sep 2023 #41
Jesus is coming. Look busy. Dulcinea Sep 2023 #44
When are the majority of people Elessar Zappa Sep 2023 #45
If He's on a date with Lauren Boebert, sure. Aristus Sep 2023 #49
THEIR Jesus is too busy right now. usonian Sep 2023 #51
I hope so, then he can banish the GOP as a satanic cult forever! LeftInTX Sep 2023 #52
Should have asked if he has a date with Lauren Boebert. n/t malthaussen Sep 2023 #54

Irish_Dem

(81,274 posts)
6. Jesus would be getting GOP death threats as soon as he returned.
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 10:07 AM
Sep 2023

His message of love, kindness, helping your neighbors, acceptance, following the commandments, etc
would royally piss of the sociopath GOP.

CrispyQ

(40,970 posts)
10. Plus his skin's a little darker than they like to portray.
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 10:28 AM
Sep 2023

Did you read that story a few weeks ago where a pastor expressed dismay that some in his congregation think that Jesus' teachings are weak & not meant for the 21st century? All I could think was, "You didn't see this coming with their belligerence & gun worship?" This attitude didn't just pop up out of nowhere.

Wednesdays

(22,603 posts)
18. Article
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 11:29 AM
Sep 2023
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/8/9/2186144/-Christ-s-teachings-are-weak-like-the-Declaration-of-Independence-is-woke

It was the result of having multiple pastors tell me, essentially, the same story about quoting the Sermon on the Mount, parenthetically, in their preaching — "turn the other cheek" — [and] to have someone come up after to say, "Where did you get those liberal talking points?" And what was alarming to me is that in most of these scenarios, when the pastor would say, "I'm literally quoting Jesus Christ," the response would not be, "I apologize." The response would be, "Yes, but that doesn't work anymore. That's weak." And when we get to the point where the teachings of Jesus himself are seen as subversive to us, then we're in a crisis.


In the same article, they point out how some Republicans think The Declaration of Independence is "too woke."


RobertDevereaux

(2,037 posts)
5. And if JC does indeed return . . .
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 10:04 AM
Sep 2023

What rough beast of a religion will be spawned by his followers?

keithbvadu2

(40,915 posts)
7. How to tell if end-timers with their books, videos, rallies, are sincere:::
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 10:13 AM
Sep 2023

How to tell if end-timers with their books, videos, rallies, are sincere:::

Are they accumulating long-term wealth?

CrispyQ

(40,970 posts)
24. A lot of them think they'll be whisked up to heaven in their glorious rapture.
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 11:52 AM
Sep 2023


Can't happen soon enough, IMO.

EYESORE 9001

(29,732 posts)
9. When I find myself in times of trouble, I ask myself what Jesus would do
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 10:28 AM
Sep 2023

And then I play dead and disappear from the scene for three days

louis-t

(24,618 posts)
12. I have a neighbor who has been regaling everyone with her dreams
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 10:45 AM
Sep 2023

of rapture. She sees her and her family looking up at the sky while people are floating up to the heavens. I nod my head and smile a lot. They are nice people.

Ocelot II

(130,538 posts)
15. Do they have good stuff you might want when they float away?
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 11:07 AM
Sep 2023

Keep an eye on them, dibs on their car if it's a nice one.

Midnight Writer

(25,410 posts)
39. Please, keep an eye on them and if they float away give the rest of us a heads-up.
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 01:52 PM
Sep 2023

On second thought, if she is looking up to watch them float, maybe she isn't among the select.

TheRealNorth

(9,647 posts)
13. Every day he fails to show up....
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 10:55 AM
Sep 2023

Shows the power and omnipotence of the one TRUE God, that is of course the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

spike jones

(2,020 posts)
16. While standing in store's check-out line, the guy in front had on a cap with the word "bible"
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 11:23 AM
Sep 2023

on the back. I was curious what was on the front and he noticed me looking around to see it. He turned and said, “Have you found Jesus?” Without thinking I said, “I didn’t know he was lost.” He was an older guy and looked a little surprised and the two teenagers behind me snickered. I added,” When was he last seen?” The teens laughed out loud and the old guy looked confused and turned away.

Farmer-Rick

(12,667 posts)
21. So many religious people are never challenged for their silly ideas
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 11:44 AM
Sep 2023

Everytime I fight back against the constant evangelism, I get this deer in the headlights look. They get confused and startle easily.

I think it's because a lot of religious people live in a religious bubble. They get very little exposure to atheists and agnostics, or even other nonchristian religions. They think everyone is just like them. Their idea of going outside their bubble is vacation bible school at the church in the other city.

 

Sky Jewels

(9,148 posts)
30. ...
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 12:19 PM
Sep 2023

Until the internet came along, the vast majority of people assumed that everyone believed in a god, their god. Atheists were afraid to open their mouths. But now we know that a huge chunk of people see that the emperor is buck nekkid. We are finally free to point out how fucking stupid and nonsensical religion is. But as you say, a lot of people still live in a bubble -- they go to church, they have Facebook friends who are also religious, and so on, so they never hear an opposing view.

Warpy

(114,615 posts)
42. Well, not really. I had fellow atheists in high school
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 02:08 PM
Sep 2023

down south, buckle of the bible belt. While we were close to drowning in a sea of southern Baptists, we found each other and the true believers mostly left us alone. Belief in total codswallop seems to require consensus and there was no way they'd get it from us.

Christers know we're out here, but they'd all rather pretend that we don't exist or that we'll have a sudden conversion when we're facing death, the "no atheists in foxholes" lie they love to tell each other.

I'm a science geek, I like questions. Religious people want answers, they aren't the right answers but they were written down over a thousand years ago so they accept them as true. I'm perfectly happy to leave them with their illusions as long as they don't get pushy. They generally don't like the result.

 

Sky Jewels

(9,148 posts)
43. That "no atheists in foxholes" thing is such bullshit.
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 02:46 PM
Sep 2023

I'm an atheist, I'm trying to keep my head down so it doesn't get blown off in some horrific war where tens of thousands are dying, and I'm supposed to believe that there's a loving god looking out for me?! Are they fucking nuts?!

Warpy

(114,615 posts)
46. Believers in foxholes think their god(s) will save them at the last minute
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 04:11 PM
Sep 2023

Atheists realize they're all out of attractive alternatives, say "aw shit" and scram, knowing there's a slight chance the opposition are all rotten shots and they'll make it out.

Like you, I don't go around wearing my disbelief on my sleeve or around my neck in jewelry. I tell the truth if anyone asks me.

Collimator

(2,123 posts)
47. " I like questions. Religious people want answers. . . "
Sat Sep 16, 2023, 12:35 AM
Sep 2023

Decades ago, after I stopped being a believer, my then-husband tried to use a situation to talk me back into being a Christian. When I resisted his arguments, he became frustrated with me and left the room while flinging the words, "You have all the answers" (said sarcastically, of course) over his shoulder. I called out after him, "No, I don't have all the answers," while in my head, I had the clear thought-- I don't need all the answers; all I need are the questions.

That was a powerful moment for me. I had already questioned the Bible and its related cosmology and found them wanting. But my new cosmology sort of coalesced in that moment with that one distinct thought.

Warpy

(114,615 posts)
48. My ex was a Deist
Sat Sep 16, 2023, 02:14 AM
Sep 2023

He believed there was something out there but it wasn't particularly concerned with a bunch of hairless apes inhabiting a small rock orbiting an unremarkable star on the edge of a fairly ordinary galaxy. He was absolutely certain that whatever it was didn't fix football games or protect soldiers in foxholes.

I could cope with that.

He didn't share my unsympathetic view of religion because he'd been brought up UCC instead of Irish RCC like I was.

I've always said the pastor takes care of his flock because it makes 'em easier to fleece.

Mblaze

(1,040 posts)
20. If they actually read their Bible
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 11:42 AM
Sep 2023

they will find that Jesus himself said he would come back about 2,000 years ago. “Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled”.

Farmer-Rick

(12,667 posts)
22. He came back but...
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 11:46 AM
Sep 2023

They just didn't notice. Too busy murdering and terrorizing each other.

LeftInTX

(34,301 posts)
53. So, I guess we're all in hell right now? Ugh...It's 4ever....
Sun Sep 17, 2023, 02:25 PM
Sep 2023

No wonder it's so hot down here with no relief in sight....

republianmushroom

(22,326 posts)
25. He shows up spouting is beliefs and/or options, he will get shot by RWNJ's.
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 12:00 PM
Sep 2023

Besides the evangelical "Jesus" has shown up and that is trump, ask them.

4lbs

(7,395 posts)
31. Ask him if he thinks Jesus spouted weak, woke, liberal crap that doesn't work today.
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 12:24 PM
Sep 2023

That's what a large contingent of MAGAt evangelicals (intentionally done lowercase) thinks, according to one pastor.


I would post a few links to that effect, but they are seemingly also spouting religious and/or right-wing crap in other articles, as well as the sites themselves, that one can peruse on their own time. I won't give them the clicks here.

Just Google the phrase and one can get all the links they can smear themselves with at their own displeasure.


4lbs

(7,395 posts)
33. Ah. Ok.
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 12:35 PM
Sep 2023

I have someone I know who is a "religious nut" compared to me, and hardcore Catholic.

Your OP sounds like something she would say.


She doesn't try to debate religion with me anymore, as I almost always use logic and common sense to prove her wrong, and she frequently has a final response of "Well... that's just the way I feel." That's when I usually know that she will no longer try to refute my refutations and just simply wants to be left in her own happy little bubble.


The Mouth

(3,414 posts)
38. An old joke
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 12:58 PM
Sep 2023

A race of aliens visits earth one day.


Obviously, all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors.

When it's the Pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?" "You mean JC?", responds the alien. "Yeah, we know him! He's the greatest, isn't he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok".

Surprised, the pope follows up with: "He visits every year?! It's been over two millennia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!"

The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize.

"Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?"

The pope retorts "Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?"

The alien says "Yea, when he first visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates!" "Why? What did you guys do?

Elessar Zappa

(16,385 posts)
45. When are the majority of people
Fri Sep 15, 2023, 04:09 PM
Sep 2023

going to realize that all the monotheistic religions are made up horseshit? (So are polytheistic religions but they don’t seem to cause as much damage).

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