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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsSo someone in a facebook group I'm in posts "Jesus is coming soon."
He got angry when I said "tell him to pull out if he isn't wearing a condom."
Another guy posted "he's been coming for 2500 years. Get over it." I replied: "Wow, that is one epic money shot."
Walleye
(44,807 posts)Chainfire
(17,757 posts)Ocelot II
(130,538 posts)considering what happened to him the last time.
2naSalit
(102,803 posts)And people wonder why they've never seen extraterrestrials.
Irish_Dem
(81,274 posts)His message of love, kindness, helping your neighbors, acceptance, following the commandments, etc
would royally piss of the sociopath GOP.
CrispyQ
(40,970 posts)Did you read that story a few weeks ago where a pastor expressed dismay that some in his congregation think that Jesus' teachings are weak & not meant for the 21st century? All I could think was, "You didn't see this coming with their belligerence & gun worship?" This attitude didn't just pop up out of nowhere.
Wednesdays
(22,603 posts)It was the result of having multiple pastors tell me, essentially, the same story about quoting the Sermon on the Mount, parenthetically, in their preaching "turn the other cheek" [and] to have someone come up after to say, "Where did you get those liberal talking points?" And what was alarming to me is that in most of these scenarios, when the pastor would say, "I'm literally quoting Jesus Christ," the response would not be, "I apologize." The response would be, "Yes, but that doesn't work anymore. That's weak." And when we get to the point where the teachings of Jesus himself are seen as subversive to us, then we're in a crisis.
In the same article, they point out how some Republicans think The Declaration of Independence is "too woke."
Pinback
(13,600 posts)Lets just replace it with Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinners_in_the_Hands_of_an_Angry_God
RobertDevereaux
(2,037 posts)What rough beast of a religion will be spawned by his followers?
keithbvadu2
(40,915 posts)How to tell if end-timers with their books, videos, rallies, are sincere:::
Are they accumulating long-term wealth?
CrispyQ
(40,970 posts)Can't happen soon enough, IMO.
Wounded Bear
(64,328 posts)EYESORE 9001
(29,732 posts)And then I play dead and disappear from the scene for three days
Ocelot II
(130,538 posts)MontanaMama
(24,722 posts)vercetti2021
(10,481 posts)That's good! I'm using that at some point in time
louis-t
(24,618 posts)of rapture. She sees her and her family looking up at the sky while people are floating up to the heavens. I nod my head and smile a lot. They are nice people.
Ocelot II
(130,538 posts)Keep an eye on them, dibs on their car if it's a nice one.
keithbvadu2
(40,915 posts)Midnight Writer
(25,410 posts)On second thought, if she is looking up to watch them float, maybe she isn't among the select.
TheRealNorth
(9,647 posts)Shows the power and omnipotence of the one TRUE God, that is of course the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Sky Jewels
(9,148 posts)Ceiling Cat rules all!

spike jones
(2,020 posts)on the back. I was curious what was on the front and he noticed me looking around to see it. He turned and said, Have you found Jesus? Without thinking I said, I didnt know he was lost. He was an older guy and looked a little surprised and the two teenagers behind me snickered. I added, When was he last seen? The teens laughed out loud and the old guy looked confused and turned away.
Farmer-Rick
(12,667 posts)Everytime I fight back against the constant evangelism, I get this deer in the headlights look. They get confused and startle easily.
I think it's because a lot of religious people live in a religious bubble. They get very little exposure to atheists and agnostics, or even other nonchristian religions. They think everyone is just like them. Their idea of going outside their bubble is vacation bible school at the church in the other city.
Sky Jewels
(9,148 posts)Until the internet came along, the vast majority of people assumed that everyone believed in a god, their god. Atheists were afraid to open their mouths. But now we know that a huge chunk of people see that the emperor is buck nekkid. We are finally free to point out how fucking stupid and nonsensical religion is. But as you say, a lot of people still live in a bubble -- they go to church, they have Facebook friends who are also religious, and so on, so they never hear an opposing view.
Warpy
(114,615 posts)down south, buckle of the bible belt. While we were close to drowning in a sea of southern Baptists, we found each other and the true believers mostly left us alone. Belief in total codswallop seems to require consensus and there was no way they'd get it from us.
Christers know we're out here, but they'd all rather pretend that we don't exist or that we'll have a sudden conversion when we're facing death, the "no atheists in foxholes" lie they love to tell each other.
I'm a science geek, I like questions. Religious people want answers, they aren't the right answers but they were written down over a thousand years ago so they accept them as true. I'm perfectly happy to leave them with their illusions as long as they don't get pushy. They generally don't like the result.
Sky Jewels
(9,148 posts)I'm an atheist, I'm trying to keep my head down so it doesn't get blown off in some horrific war where tens of thousands are dying, and I'm supposed to believe that there's a loving god looking out for me?! Are they fucking nuts?!
Warpy
(114,615 posts)Atheists realize they're all out of attractive alternatives, say "aw shit" and scram, knowing there's a slight chance the opposition are all rotten shots and they'll make it out.
Like you, I don't go around wearing my disbelief on my sleeve or around my neck in jewelry. I tell the truth if anyone asks me.
Collimator
(2,123 posts)Decades ago, after I stopped being a believer, my then-husband tried to use a situation to talk me back into being a Christian. When I resisted his arguments, he became frustrated with me and left the room while flinging the words, "You have all the answers" (said sarcastically, of course) over his shoulder. I called out after him, "No, I don't have all the answers," while in my head, I had the clear thought-- I don't need all the answers; all I need are the questions.
That was a powerful moment for me. I had already questioned the Bible and its related cosmology and found them wanting. But my new cosmology sort of coalesced in that moment with that one distinct thought.
Warpy
(114,615 posts)He believed there was something out there but it wasn't particularly concerned with a bunch of hairless apes inhabiting a small rock orbiting an unremarkable star on the edge of a fairly ordinary galaxy. He was absolutely certain that whatever it was didn't fix football games or protect soldiers in foxholes.
I could cope with that.
He didn't share my unsympathetic view of religion because he'd been brought up UCC instead of Irish RCC like I was.
I've always said the pastor takes care of his flock because it makes 'em easier to fleece.
seabiscuit5920
(28 posts)Jesus says in Matthew 24 that no one knows hot even God or him and when he coms again
Mblaze
(1,040 posts)they will find that Jesus himself said he would come back about 2,000 years ago. Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.
Farmer-Rick
(12,667 posts)They just didn't notice. Too busy murdering and terrorizing each other.
LeftInTX
(34,301 posts)No wonder it's so hot down here with no relief in sight....
republianmushroom
(22,326 posts)Besides the evangelical "Jesus" has shown up and that is trump, ask them.
Collimator
(2,123 posts)And honestly, the best apocalypses are the ones handled by Buffy.
eppur_se_muova
(41,945 posts)czarjak
(13,639 posts)Satans ally in the Bible. (If youre a believer)
4lbs
(7,395 posts)That's what a large contingent of MAGAt evangelicals (intentionally done lowercase) thinks, according to one pastor.
I would post a few links to that effect, but they are seemingly also spouting religious and/or right-wing crap in other articles, as well as the sites themselves, that one can peruse on their own time. I won't give them the clicks here.
Just Google the phrase and one can get all the links they can smear themselves with at their own displeasure.
AZLD4Candidate
(6,781 posts)4lbs
(7,395 posts)I have someone I know who is a "religious nut" compared to me, and hardcore Catholic.
Your OP sounds like something she would say.
She doesn't try to debate religion with me anymore, as I almost always use logic and common sense to prove her wrong, and she frequently has a final response of "Well... that's just the way I feel." That's when I usually know that she will no longer try to refute my refutations and just simply wants to be left in her own happy little bubble.
mwooldri
(10,818 posts)Look busy then...
The Wizard
(13,735 posts)breathing hard .
The Mouth
(3,414 posts)A race of aliens visits earth one day.
Obviously, all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors.
When it's the Pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?" "You mean JC?", responds the alien. "Yeah, we know him! He's the greatest, isn't he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok".
Surprised, the pope follows up with: "He visits every year?! It's been over two millennia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!"
The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize.
"Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?"
The pope retorts "Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?"
The alien says "Yea, when he first visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates!" "Why? What did you guys do?
Midnight Writer
(25,410 posts)Midnight Writer
(25,410 posts)Dulcinea
(10,094 posts)I always liked those bumper stickers.
Elessar Zappa
(16,385 posts)going to realize that all the monotheistic religions are made up horseshit? (So are polytheistic religions but they dont seem to cause as much damage).
Aristus
(72,188 posts)Im sure she will be laying hands on Him.
usonian
(25,326 posts)Sunday means football and pizza.
