Snake story for the day...

[Chainfire]

My wife has a special dread of snakes; any variety, deadly or harmless, she knows on an intellectual basis that they are part of a healthy environment, but she doesn't give a damn.

My wife also has a soft spot for birds. Just outside of the office that we share, and spend too much time in, are several bird feeders. She spends better 50 bucks a month on sunflower seeds to feed them, and they come in droves. Where birds congregate, snakes come to feed on the birds. For the last week or so, there has been a 3' Oak Snake perched on one of the feeders, same snake, same feeder, same posture. I think that the snake is overly ambitious, because, I can't see him swallowing a bird if he caught it; but I could be wrong.

Several days ago, at my wife's bidding, I caught the snake, carried him 100 yards away and released him. The next morning, the same snake is back on the same feeder. Again, I caught him, and this time walked him about a quarter mile before releasing him in the woods. This morning, he is back.

We were going grocery shopping so I figured that, right before we left, I would catch him, one more time, and drive him several miles to a new home. I snagged him off the Sheppard's hook, put the snake in a plastic grocery bag for the quick trip. I just held the bag closed. My wife would not even consider holding the bag, so she drove. About 5 minutes into the trip, the snake, who had been going nuts in the bag, found an escape route, literally jumped out of the bag and was fully exposed in all his glory far too close for my wife's comfort. Panic doesn't adequately describe the moment.

I am not afraid of Oak Snakes, but I do know that when they bite, they cut you and it leaves a sore wound. Now I am not the most athletic of old men, and I have fumbled more baseballs than I ever caught, but I managed to snatch the snake before he got loose in the car and just tossed him out the window. That has been about an hour, and I don't think that my dear wife's heart rate is back to normal. Tomorrow, when the diligent little bastard comes back, I will try to improve on my confinement technique and give the thing a ride, but I do not suspect that my wife will trust me to come along.

The worst part of the whole incident is that if I even smile for the next few days, I will be in the dog house...
Aut Pax Aut Bellum

[erronis]

1. That's a great and humorous (to me) story - and one that will be remembered forever.

I've understood that a certain gender can recall things like this a very, very long time.

[Chainfire]

2. It would have been funny as hell to an outside observer, but I can take no joy in my wife'

discomfort. We have been together far too long for that. We all have things that we are afraid of; some of them are dangerous and others, not so much.

[debm55]

3. Thank you for the post, Chainfire. Can you let us know if he comes back?

[Chainfire]

4. I have no doubt he/she will return in the night.

In fact, I would bet on it. He did not get far before being thrown out of the window of a moving car.

But yes, I will respond when (not if) it returns.

[Chainfire]

12. He is not back this morning. Getting hummed out of the window of a moving car may have been

more than he was willing to risk again.

[rsdsharp]

5. That's my wife and bats.

[Chainfire]

9. Yep, everyone has their fears.

[Chainfire]

10. I can see bats being a problem. They have a bad rep. ;)

My wife has two bat houses. They are welcomed here for the number of bugs that they eat, and they don't come out in the daytime.

living, literally, in the woods we don't do much outside after dark unless it is on the porch. I enjoy the near encounters with the wildlife. An hour after the snake incident, my Lab chased two big Coyotes off of "her" property. A lot of people would just kill the snake, but I am an old softie and won't harm a bug if I can avoid it.

[LeftInTX]

17. Bats are a problem if they get too close to people.

Usually they avoid people, but someone on nextdoor woke up to a bat on her ceiling. Of course, she didn't get a rabies shot. (duh)

Gotta get a rabies shot if a bat gets in your house.

[wnylib]

20. I didn't know that a rabies shot is recommended

if a bat gets inside.

Several years ago I lived on the first floor of a huge old Victorian house that had been converted to apartments. The door to my apartment opened into the living room. I was painting the living room walls and left the door open to air out the room while I worked.

Shortly after a neighbor opened the building's outside door, a bat flew into my living room. The cat I had at the time started chasing it, so I shut the cat up in the bathroom and grabbed a broom to shoo the bat back out the door. It flew directly into a wall, leaving a perfect, open wing bat imprint on the fresh paint, then dived blindly in my direction. I screamed and the neighbor came running to see why. Between the two of us, we got the bat out of the apartment, but instead of heading straight out the building's open door, it went upward to the second floor. From there, we opened a hall window and managed to steer the bat out of it. I went back to my apartment to paint over the bat imprint, although my neighbor thought it looked cool and that I should leave it.

Never occurred to me to get a rabies shot for myself. I wasn't worried about the cat because he was current on his rabies vaccine.

[MOMFUDSKI]

7. Pillowcase.

Pillowcase. Great story.

[Chainfire]

8. Yes, Pillowcase. Outstanding suggestion.

Of course, the pillowcase will have ended its normal function and will have to be recycled...

[Karadeniz]

11. Great story !!!

[csziggy]

13. A snake story

First about thirty five years ago we had thistle socks hanging in the crepe myrtles next to the house. One day a big gray rat snake was hanging out - literally - above the thistle sock. It was the perfect location since the snake blended in with the bark on the crepe myrtle. A couple of days later, after the snake had been showing up every day, it managed to catch and eat a goldfinch. I might have pictures somewhere of the process. So I rigged a snake pole, caught the snake, and drove it a few miles down the road and released it on one of the plantations.

The next day, a red rat snake had taken over the same spot. It was slightly smaller, but was very ambitious. I caught it, carried it down the road, released it in a different spot. Two days later a corn snake (yellow rat snake, we called it) was at the snake post. Repeat. A day or two later another snake showed up, again staking out the thistle sock.

I gave up and took down the thistle socks. The goldfinch still showed up and so did the snakes, but I didn't see any more birds captured by the snakes.

[LeftInTX]

18. LOL!

[Kali]

14. my snake stories all involve rattlesnakes

in the house.

[LeftInTX]

19. I almost stepped on one cuz someone was getting my attention and telling me not to step on it!

I was in the park, wearing earbuds and this guy kept trying to get my attention. I stop walking and go, "Huh?". He says, "Don't step on the snake"...LOL!!!

[Bayard]

15. I've always liked snakes

I kept a Hog Nose for awhile when I was a kid.

When I first moved to Calif, we used to get rattlers pretty regularly. I would pick them up with a rake, put them in a big bucket with a lid, and carry it to the backside of our 40 acres.

We only had to kill a couple. One had bitten my little Mini-Doxie and killed him. The next day, he got stuck in the wire fence. He was huge. Between my ex and the horse vet, they dispatched him.

[LeftInTX]

16. I'm terrified of roaches. They are an invasive specie and serve no purpose

American cockroaches and palmetto bugs were brought here on ships in 1625. They are native to Africa.


The same with rats. They also are an invasive specie (from Asia). They are not wild life.

[Chainfire]

21. Well, I'll be damned. The snake skipped yesterday, apparently recovering from the

shock of being thrown from a moving car, but he is back this morning. He has broken routine and chose the feeder next to his regular haunt. After coffee and DU, he is going to be taken for a ride. No concrete shoes, but he will be be entered into a relocation program.

I have to respect his or her persistence, but it has now become a contest and I intend to prevail! One of my old high school friends scolded me for not killing the snake and being done with it. The snake can't help being a snake, but if I can avoid killing a critter that is working in his natural environment, I will.

[debm55]

22. Is it the same snake?

[Chainfire]

23. Same snake. This time it is five miles, so if he comes back, we will name him slim, and add him to

the family.