Dad Jokes.

[Niagara]

Once upon a time, I use to be a Cafeteria Assistant at a public school. I would tell my lunchtime students jokes every Friday.



I came across some of the jokes that I would share with them. If you don't like what you see, keep scrolling. There's absolutely no reason to be rude. Thank you.




Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?

A: To get to the shell station

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Q:Why do crows sit on telephone wires?

A: So that they can make long distance caws.

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Q: Why can't the bicycle stand by itself?

A: Because it's two tired!

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Q: Why did grandma put wheels on her rocking chair?

A: So she could rock and roll.

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Q: Why did the man run around his bed?

A: He wanted to catch up on his sleep.

[yankee87]

1. So Bad

They are good.

[TlalocW]

2. Best Dad Joke

Why didn't Han Solo enjoy his steak?
It was Chewie.

[Niagara]

4. I like it!

[LW1977]

3. Why did the ex-nun put on her nun uniform?

Force of habit

[Niagara]

5. Nicely done!

[BoomaofBandM]

6. Love these, we called them grandpa groaners.

A nice tradition my husband is glad to embrace as a grandpa.

[True Dough]

7. A dad joke that's a little off-color...

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but plastic wrap. Psychiatrist looks at him and says:

"Well clearly I can see your nuts."

[LuckyCharms]

8. Pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel attached to his waist.

Last edited Sun Oct 1, 2023, 04:17 PM - Edit history (1)

Bartender says: "You have a steering wheel attached to you".

Pirate says: "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts".

[True Dough]

9. Try to avoid

a 360-degree turn!

[Niagara]

12. That sounds like a hard drive.

[LuckyCharms]

14. Remember...

Hands at 10:00 and 2:00 on the steering wheel.

[Niagara]

15. Copy that.

Hands at 10:00 and 2:00.




Sometimes I can't help it. Today I'm feeling extra saucy.

[LuckyCharms]

18. Hmmmm. That's a good word.

"Saucy".

[Niagara]

19. That is 110% me today.

Saucy.




My favorite words usually begin with S.


Shenanigans


Smorgasbord


Sable


Saucy


Savory

[LuckyCharms]

20. I'd comment, but...

I tend to take things too far.

[Niagara]

21. See what I mean?

You're still the life of the party here.

[Niagara]

11. *snort snort*

[TexasBushwhacker]

29. Did you hear about the guy who ripped his balls in glitter?

Pretty nuts, eh?

[kimbutgar]

10. Thanks I substitute teach and sometimes I come across kids who like to make these jokes

The only one I have is.

How do fish save their money?

…..at a river bank

[Niagara]

13. You're welcome, kimbutgar.

I like that.



It's definitely a keeper!

[kimbutgar]

24. I was of all places in Florence Arizona and this old guy came up to me on the street and started

Telling me jokes. That was my favorite one!

[Marthe48]

16. Why don't crows get run over?

Because if they see a vehicle coming, they yell "Caw! Caw!"

[LuckyCharms]

22. LOL

[North Shore Chicago]

25. Only Boston crows

[Marthe48]

17. Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed

One of my grandkids' favorites

[TlalocW]

23. My favorites

What's black and white, and it if falls out of a tree on to you, it will kill you?
A piano.

What's green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.

Why did the dog cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.

[qwlauren35]

26. Got any more???

Those were awesome!

[Niagara]

27. What do you get if you put a matchbox car in the microwave?

Answer: Hot Wheels


I always made sure to tell the kindergarten class and 1st graders not to actually put toys in the microwave.

[kairos12]

28. Why dd the clock go back four seconds?

Because it was hungry.

[Niagara]

30. Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9 (7, 8, 9).