If you were an elf/elfette at the North Pole, what job would you want? I would want to make gingerbread houses.

[debm55]

[rsdsharp]

1. I want to be. . .

a dentist!

[debm55]

2. HAHAHHAHAHHAHAH

[Polly Hennessey]

3. I want to be the elfette making the naughty/nice list.

[debm55]

6. Oh Polly, thats a hard job.

[lastlib]

37. Oh, man, I wanted to be in charge of the naughty database.....

I could've had LOADS of fun with that job!

[debm55]

38. lastlib, expect some coal in your stocking.

[House of Roberts]

4. Tuning up and test driving

the Porsches and Ferraris before delivery.

[debm55]

5. HAHAHAHAHA sounds like fun.

[Glorfindel]

7. I would like to work in the wrapping deparment.

I've always enjoyed wrapping Christmas presents.

[debm55]

9. Very good. Make sure you have enough paper and bows. I prefer using the Christmas bags. Much easier hehehehehhehh

[Backseat Driver]

32. LOL, you'll never win the family "Best-wrapped package" competition, OTOH, I too confess that I'd need

seriously to apply for acceptance in that training program for elves because my skills need a lot of improvement. OTOH, I'd love being the elf historian, cultural mythkeeper&librarian of the yearly yearbooks I'd publish and/or do interviews with the Planetary climatologist on TWC who is warning that "Winter (snow) is coming (someday)!" when, instead, Earth just gets hotter! So be good or you'll get fossil fuel and plastic as stocking stuffers instead of seedless mandarins, chocolate, and gelte. It would be cool to win the lottery for the yearly spot as Santa's 2nd seat navigator if it's not too technical? (LOL).

[debm55]

33. Oh , they do the same. We recycle our bags and use the following year. Elf Historian sounds very interesing.

[LakeArenal]

13. This is interesting.

?si=gZDjFvK39pCsbjCI

[debm55]

15. Japan has always been the one country I would love to visit. My packages that I wrap NEVER look that good. That is why I

use Christmas bags from the Dollar store.

[thatcrowwoman]

42. I recycle packing paper from Penzey's and Chewy for wrapping paper.

Some crayons/magic markers, colored pencils, or stamps for ink pads, maybe some stickers. No Glitter!!! To be fancy, I might add some curling ribbon.
🕊🩵💫🎶tcw

[debm55]

54. I do too when I wrap. I use twine . No glitter or anything as I like them old fashioned.

[happybird]

128. I love wrapping gifts!

What you said reminded me of a gift from a coworker/friend a few years ago. He is a Libertarian (ugh. don’t get me started…) and we often argued politics and had a ball teasing and ragging on each other, in general. Kitchens can be brutal, lol!

Of course, he called me a Commie and I called him a Capitalist Pig. He knew very well of the burning hatred our boss, her husband, and I all had for tfg.

This was how he wrapped my Christmas gift one year:



I didn’t know until I opened the gift that when we were out doing our traditional shopping trip, he circled back around and got me the same gift I was buying for our boss because, “In Communist Russia, everyone gets same gift.”

[debm55]

129. That's funny. Welcome Elf happybird

[LakeArenal]

8. I would want to read the letters and also be the interior decorator.

?si=5Rl_PPGO-LaGHUYZ

[debm55]

11. LakeArenal thank you, The job is yours.

Last edited Sun Dec 10, 2023, 08:56 PM - Edit history (1)

[Bayard]

10. I would be in the reindeer barn

[debm55]

12. That would be fun.and a little messy

[LakeArenal]

16. I heard they poop golden apples.

[debm55]

17. HAHAHAHAHHAHAH

[Niagara]

21. My grandfather called those road apples.

[Walleye]

18. Me too probably, I was thinking that

[sinkingfeeling]

14. I want to make all the Christmas toys and costumes for dogs.

[debm55]

19. That would be an interesting and fun job. TY Santa will have to make a major stop at Chewy's

Last edited Sun Dec 10, 2023, 08:59 PM - Edit history (1)

[Niagara]

20. I would be the official coffee taste tester.

I'd be the one with a clipboard in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other hand.


Perhaps on occasion a little "syrup" could me out.

[debm55]

22. HAHAHAHAHAHAH

[Niagara]

23. ...

[debm55]

24. With the booze or syrup?????

[Niagara]

25. Definitely the booze.

[debm55]

26. You are too funny,

[Niagara]

27. I'm not an alcohol drinker

I'm banking that I could make Santa's naughty list in about 4 hours!

[debm55]

28. HAHAHAH me either.

[Niagara]

30. lol!

[calimary]

29. And I'd help you decorate them.

EMBELLISHMENTS!!!

Embellishments To The MAX!!!

[debm55]

31. I get to do the icing. What do you want to do???

[debm55]

35. Need help here with gingerbread houses. They take alot of time to decorate and time is running out. TY

[calimary]

40. Depends on what style you'd set up.

Cuz I’d want to work off of whatever base or theme you’d establish. Smooth? Textured? Embellishments? Flowers? Festoons? Stars? Figures? Colors? You direct, I respond.

[debm55]

48. Let me ask Boss Elf. Boss Elf says do them all. And don't forget the candy, He wants LOTS of candy.

[CrispyQ]

34. I would want to work with the reindeer but it's too fickin' cold at the North Pole to work outside

so I'd like to hand paint toys.

I discovered that the gingerbread recipe you use to make houses is not the same as the one for cookies. My gingerbread pieces came out all puffy & had to be trimmed & the little windows I'd cut filled in with puffed dough when they baked. In the end, I sliced the pieces into shapes & frosted them & we ate them. I put Kahlua in my gingerbread cookies one year & they were delicious.

A friend did an Eifel Tower gingerbread structure one year that was awesome. She decorated it with frosting & put tiny little white & blue lights on it & used it as a centerpiece for her New Year's party. Very festive!!

[debm55]

36. Sounds wonderful. With your expertise the gingerbread houses would be a taste treat. Do I sign you up?

: Oh I see you want to work with the reindeer. Painting toys is fine too.

[Hermit-The-Prog]

39. Security . . .

[AllaN01Bear]

46. lilly to picard in star trek first contact,,, " my first ray gun".

[debm55]

55. Santa wants you in security, Amazon and Wal- Mart has their spies around, Be careful

[AllaN01Bear]

56. lol.

[debm55]

49. Hermit-The-Prog--- You have some fine defensive weapons there. gee a fleet of planes for the Noryh Pole.

[Hermit-The-Prog]

75. Have to be prepared for polar bears, flying grinches, and egoloons.

[debm55]

77. Thank you, glad you are thinking of our safety

[thatcrowwoman]

41. Reindeer feeder/caretaker

Or maybe stuffed animal maker.
Or cookie baker.
Package wrapper?
Santa’s pack packer. I’ve got mad Tetris skills for loading the car for a long drive, so I’m sure I could fill the pack quite efficiently.
Though I expect Santa’s pack has the same properties as Mary Poppins bag and the Weasley’s tent in Harry Potter. I could sure use one of those!
🕊🩵💫🎶tcw

[debm55]

50. I like the idea of stuffed animal maker. Any animals in particular the kids are asking for this year? The really burned

us with the year of Tickle Me, Elmo.

[IcyPeas]

43. Manager of Diversity, Equity & Inclusion

I would be in charge of bringing all the misfit toys from The Island of Misfit Toys and integrating them in with the other toys. Just because they are different, or not perfect doesn't mean they don't deserve to be loved.

Whether it be a reindeer with a bright red nose, or a Charlie in the Box, or a choo choo train with square wheels, or an elephant with pink polka-dots. 😉

[AllaN01Bear]

45. lol.

[debm55]

57. Bless your heart. You are perfect for the job.

[AllaN01Bear]

44. make the candy canes and deckorate xmas trees.

[debm55]

58. Terrific tdea. Any experience in candy making? We do need the trees decorated. Please no angel hair.Last time it was

used some of the elfs and elfettes cut their fingers and it threw us back a couple of days. They were told to wear gloves, but darn it . some were too busy drinking the eggnog. In fact, one got ran over by a reindeer. You hear that reindeer elfs ---keep an eye on those reindeer.

[Mr.Bill]

47. I would like to be in charge

of a crew assembling bicycles and wagons, so that no dad would be burdened with having to do this on Christmas Eve.

[debm55]

60. What a sweet idea Mr. Bill. Santa likes that idea. Get your crew together and get moving. We have alot of bikes this

year.

[Mr.Bill]

63. When I was about 19 or 20, I worked at a retail super drug store.

I was the department manager of the nursery. Since winter is a slow time for plants and gardening stuff, my department sold Christman trees and any toy with wheels that had to be assembled. I'm pretty mechanically inclined, so I got to build display models of all of them. On Christman eve about an hour before closing, we announced we were selling all the assembled ones at a discount. Lots of happy dads (and moms) that evening.

[debm55]

78. What a kind thing to do.Thank you Elf Mr.Bill

[bucolic_frolic]

51. I would want to stuff Republicans' stockings with coal

[debm55]

61. Oh shit, that's going to take a lot of time. Find your crew and get your butts in gear. Coal is outside. What are your

going to get that head a-hole of these. You better ask Santa and get back to me.

[DBoon]

82. Think of the impact on global warming!

There would be no more snow at the north pole anymore!

Put tiny solar cells in republicans' stockings - they will hate it for being "woke"

[Hope22]

52. I'll be in the sewing room...

…dressing baby dolls!😁

[debm55]

62. Yes, you will need to be in the doll room. Have fun.

[Harker]

53. Play by play announcer for the hockey team.

She shoots and scores!

[debm55]

64. We don't have a hockey team. This is TOYS, for good girls and boys. Have you been sipping the eggnog. Now, if you want a

an air hockey game, go to that department. Otherwise, pick another job.

[Harker]

71. No hockey?

Guess I'll have to put a team together.

[debm55]

72. During your break Elf Harker. You can get a crew together and make hockey equipment. We just got a license from NHL.

Hockey can be played on breaks. Gary Bettmann just gave us the okay.

[Harker]

73. Fair enough, chief...

I can design goalie masks that the puckhead Bettman can outlaw.

[debm55]

80. Thank you, Elf Harker.

[Niagara]

81. Harker, could you replicate Rob Ray's tear off fighting jersey

While you're designing the goalie masks?

[Harker]

87. Having reviewed Rule 46.13, I think we can exceed your request.

?si=usqI8lphBqfPVmiW

[Niagara]

91. Holy slap shot!

I haven't watched that movie in years.


Nicely done, Harker!

[debm55]

92. Is Elf Harker doing his job making hockey equipment??????? That is funny

[Niagara]

93. It looks like Elf Harker will be making hockey supplies, Debbie.

It sounds like Elf Harker will be bypassing the Rob Ray Rule as well

[debm55]

94. Thanks Elfette Niagara.

[Niagara]

97. My pleasure, Debbie!

[Harker]

95. No half measures in my elfy little work shed, Niagara! n/t

[debm55]

96. ELF Harker and ELFETTE NIAGARA get to work.

[Niagara]

99. I currently have a 12 cup carafe of caffeinated coffee brewing

And I have another 12 cup carafe of non caffeinated coffee brewing as well.


All the coffee mugs have been cleaned and sanitized and ready to be used.

[Niagara]

98. That's excellent news, Harker

I'm going to see if your little work shed can get an expansion

[Harker]

100. Hockey will never be the same...

and while I have to see Patrick Kane and Alex DeBrincat wearing Red Wing colors while my Hawks try to rebuild around Bedard --- a little burlesque helps pass the time.

[debm55]

101. HARKER!!

[Harker]

102. Oop.

Okay, back to work!

[Niagara]

103. Hahahaha 🤣

[Sanity Claws]

59. Take care of the reindeer

[debm55]

66. Good you will be the last one hired for the position. Please make sure NO reindeer run around unattended. Last year we

had an get run over by a reindeer. Also, you must include Rudolph in the Reindeer games. TY

[patphil]

65. I want to work in the new toy Research and Development Department.

I hear they have a summer conference in Hawaii where they elfstorm toys for the next season.

Note: my daughter told me about the conference in Hawaii.

[debm55]

68. Guess what it's not summer now, we have work to do. Yes, I will give the job to you. And we will talk about Hawaii in

the spring. Do you have any skills for making toys now????

[patphil]

69. I literally assembled hundreds of toys for my daughter over the years.

And I'm very good at taking them apart also.

[debm55]

74. See Elf Mr. Bill, he is on the putting toys together crew. PS we don't want them taken apart , just put together. TY

Last edited Mon Dec 11, 2023, 12:04 AM - Edit history (1)

Taking toys apart is the kids job.

[Lunabell]

67. I want to be the toy tester!

I especially would love to test new video games!

[debm55]

70. Excellent choice, Lunabell. Get to it. Time is not on our side. In previous years, kids have gotten toys that do not

meet with Santa's standards and it pisses him off.

[Lunabell]

83. I love toys.

I used to collect Barbies and would love a full sized hobby horse!

[debm55]

134. That would great for you to get around the North Pole. What a wonderful idea.

[Jeebo]

76. I would like to be their Maytag repair man.

That way, I would have an opportunity to catch up on my reading.

-- Ron

[debm55]

79. HAHAHAHA funny. You can wash the elves outfits and iron them. No time for reading here at this time of year, busy , busy

busy. After Christmas you can be the Maytag repair man. and read to your heart's delight. Is it a deal?

[AKwannabe]

84. I would like

To care for the reindeer!

Happy Christmas

[debm55]

88. Thank you, Elf AKwannabe

[electric_blue68]

85. Putting ribbons, and bows on the wrapped presents...🥰

My mom taught me decades ago to tie extra ribbons with loose ends at the center where the ribbons cross. Then you take the bunt edge of a scissor and run the each ribbon fast over it.
It turns the ribbons into longish corkscrews. So pretty! You can vary the length, mix thicker, and thinner ribbons.

[debm55]

89. Love the corkscrew ribbons, See you at the North Pole.

[electric_blue68]

116. Must pack extra layers! 😁 See ya!🎁

[debm55]

119. See you soon, Elf electric_blue68. Ekf Niagara has some beverages for you on getting to the North Pole. Be careful of

not stepping in the reindeer's golden apples.

[jmowreader]

86. Logistics manager

Someone has to buy all the raw materials, get them delivered to the North Pole without anyone knowing, receive children's gift requests from millions of department store Santas, coordinate the magic that makes exactly the right number of each toy by December 24, order enough coal so bad children and cold Army intelligence analysts can all have some, have Santa's sled loaded so the toys that are going to be put under trees first go on last...good little boys and girls don't realize just how big a logistical nightmare Santa's Workshop really is!

[debm55]

90. Very true, Elf jmowreader. You have excellent ideas for the North Pole. From your post I assume you have training in

the field. Very good.and welcome to the team.

[jmowreader]

109. We also need a personnel manager, a trainer and a safety professional

Let’s face it, not everyone can be a dentist - and many of our elves want that job. Elves aren’t born knowing how to make toys, and you just know the casualty rate there around December 22 is appalling.

[debm55]

110. Is that a nice way of telling me you want the job??? You know we have a big crew on reindeer. do me a favor and ask if

elves will switch jobs from the reindeer crew. Thanks. Tell them Santa sent you. I think we have some loafers here and you seem to be be able to have them get their asses in gear.

[jmowreader]

115. Can I wear a drill sergeant hat instead of an elf cap?

I think I'm gonna have to go full Gunnery Sergeant Hartman on those slackers...

"NO! You can't be in the candy cane department any more! I don't care that none of you like to work in the stuffed animal department, we have three million teddy bears and four million stuffed dogs to make in six days and they're not going to make themselves, so put that fifty-pound bag of sugar back on the pallet and follow me!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN you loaded all the presents for Boston first and all the presents for San Diego last? You know Santa always flies east-to-west. Take it all off right now and load it right! I don't care if it takes all night to do it, it has to be done!"

"First prize in this month's toy manufacturing contest is a new Cadillac. Second prize is a set of reindeer steak knives. Third prize is you're fired."

"Please tell me that when you made the mold for the Elf on the Shelf surveillance devices you didn't stick Hermie in a box and pour concrete around him. How's he going to breathe in there?"

[debm55]

117. I say wear the elf hat but put the insignia on the elf hat. I like you thinking Drill Sergeant Elf jmowreader. but

but remember this is a happy place--sort of like Disneylahd. But I do understand you might have to kick some butt. These are new elves don't be too hard on them. They will learn.

[Layzeebeaver]

104. A dentist

And I would be indeeepentant!

[debm55]

105. I think we have one. But two would be fine. Welcome, Elf Layzeebeaver. Have Hermie/Herbie where the the office is

located. Do you by any chance know of a dental hygienist ?

[Phentex]

106. Oh I'm leading the Barbie division...

I’ve got years of experience and I know what Barbie was made for.

[debm55]

107. Thank you, Elf Phentex. Do you also design clothes for her?? Go to the doll department and tell them I sent you. Barbie

is a very popular doll. You will be busy. I hope you are up to it.

[debm55]

108. BREAKTIME!!! Elfette Niagara, we need some more coffee- regular and decaf. How about some hot chocolate ?

[Niagara]

112. I found this homemade bar in the attic.

On this homemade bar ...I have both regular and decaf coffee to go, there's also hot water in an electric kettle for both tea and hot chocolate drinkers with various tea bags and hot chocolate mixes. Oh yeah!


Unfortunately there's no chairs available for elves to be able to sit around and take a break. I'm not certain, but it's possible that Elf Harker might have broken a chair or two during the burlesque show.

[debm55]

113. Wow! That's nice. Do you think you can ask Elf Harker? It's beautiful. Did one of the elfs make it? The breverages sound

great. Thank you, Elfette Niagara.

[Niagara]

114. I'll ask Elf Harker about chairs.

He doesn't remember it, but Elf LuckyCharms made this coffee bar last year.


It's all our pleasure, Debbie!

[debm55]

118. That's Elf Debbie. Yes , elf Harker and his crew can use some of the hockey stick wood to make chairs. Very creative Elf

Niagara.

[debm55]

111. Breaks over, Back to work, Any new elves? The dentist and reindeer crew is closed

[debm55]

120. Well, elves and elfettes how did things go today? Nobody posted so we must all have our jobs in order. Almost time for

third shift to get to work. Do it elves!!! Loungers, thanks for your help. We will let this drop. We will be their Christmas eve for the the children and adults. One last thing, has anyone seen elf Harker. H--A--R--K--E--R!

[Niagara]

121. I saw some elf ducking behind the reindeer stable eating pumpkin donuts and slurping on spiced apple cider

I only saw their backside so I can't be positive who it was.

[debm55]

122. Yes, I heard some elves were going to give the reindeer some pot so they can fly higher. Might mellow the poor deer out

Hell, I have seen Santa take a couple of tokes himself.

[Niagara]

131. That's actually a great idea.

It looks like Santa lost some weight and he needs to increase his bakery goods intake to fit back into his suit.

[debm55]

133. Yes, he needs to fill up that suit.

Last edited Wed Dec 13, 2023, 11:39 AM - Edit history (1)

[OldBaldy1701E]

123. I have been a mall Santa before, so...

Coupling that with my time in the tower back in the day, probably route planner? Or maybe one of the team that plots it all out?

Or just one that builds nice boxes. I can do that pretty well.

[debm55]

124. Sure, route planner would be great. See ya tomorrow, Elf OldBaldy 1701E. Report to Boss Elf. I saw your Santa pics, is

the last one you? For a very "personal" and mean reason Elf Debbie doesn;t post of said OP posts; It was a weak after my died / That poster on santa nasty list.

[OldBaldy1701E]

125. It is indeed. Right before a shift during the 2005 season. (n/t)

[debm55]

126. Good for you, That was very nice.

[happybird]

127. Quality Control

Baked Goods and Candy Division
(which includes Hot Cocoa and festively-flavored coffee creamers, of course)

[Niagara]

130. I found this homemade bar in the North Pole attic, Happybird.

I already have this homemade bar set up with regular coffee and decafe coffee, hot water is available in electric kettles for hot chocolate and various tea's. I added spiced apple cider as an option yesterday.





I have clean and sanitized mugs that have been ran in the dishwasher at 170F set out and ready to use.



We absolutely could use a baked goods or a candy station. I have a feeling that the elves would be super excited about seeing either one of these options. There might be some extra homemade bars available in the attic.

[debm55]

132. Great. Elf happybird, see you here