"If you don't have kids, who will take care of you in your senior years?"

[cilla4progress]

How's this old adage working out for everyone?

[Coventina]

1. If I can't pay for my own care, I will off myself.

That's my solution.

My siblings and I all have a suicide pact, actually. When we're ready to go, we're going to go together.

[cilla4progress]

4. Have you figured out how?

This was on my mind last years while my MIL was slowly fading unto death..

[Coventina]

6. Right now our plan is to go to a place with a right to suicide.

Whether that's another state or another country, we haven't pinpointed that yet.

[Goonch]

17. Do you mean

a state where assisted suicide is legal?

[Coventina]

18. yes n/t

[cilla4progress]

29. It's a little more complicated

than that..

[JoseBalow]

24. Hypoxia would be my exit strategy of choice

Helium is cheap and easy to get...

A peculiar aspect of helium inhalation is the lack of the breathing reflex or the so-called choking feeling, such that the victims do not feel the urge to breathe. In fact, the breathing reflex is not triggered by oxygen deficiency, but by carbon dioxide excess, which is not present in the case of helium intoxication. This is probably the main reason that helium is often used in euthanasia procedures. Helium inhalation can cause painless asphyxia, which is very attractive to a potential suicide victim, as well as the availability of the gas and equipment.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9412544/

Or you could follow Frank Zappa's suggestion...

[localroger]

30. Balloon helium is no longer pure

It's literally adulterated with oxygen, to prevent its use in this way. I've read a number of posts by people who notice that toy helium balloons just don't float as well as they used to.

Pure nitrogen, on the other hand, works exactly the same way and can't be adulterated because it is used to explicitly exclude oxygen from processes like welding. It's a bit more expensive and the containers are harder to work with but much more reliable.

[JoseBalow]

34. Good to know!

As always, Frank was right again.

[Elessar Zappa]

45. He usually was!

[TexasBushwhacker]

22. +1

[debm55]

32. I agree.

[snpsmom]

38. This was my mother's plan

when she found out that she had dementia. The timing was the sticky part. How do you know what the right time is? What if you still have a few more good months? So she put it off, and then it was past the time when she could manage it. Now she’s in long term care and losing her ability to speak.

It sounds like it’s an easy thing to do, until it isn’t.

[Coventina]

39. I get that, which is why I have the pact with my siblings.

Once one of us gets to that point, we all go, assisting the failing sibling as needed.
I mean, I guess you could call it murder-suicide, but we plan on leaving written and signed documents behind detailing our plans and wishes (and our wills).

[Voltaire2]

58. me too.

[debm55]

2. That's a shame that people think of their kids as potential caregivers. JMO

[cilla4progress]

5. Right...

I never quite understood that.

How can one assume??

[spooky3]

12. Agree, but I think where it comes from is caring for one's parent(s). It really opens

your eyes as to the weaknesses in our health care system and elderly care. When I see how much time my sibling spends in dealing with a parent's needs, even with professional carers, and know that another sibling and I also help, it is scary to think about who will take these steps when we are aged. You also can't buy the services one might need in many cases. Big agencies do the required background screening, referrals, etc., but take a huge chunk out of the hourly rate paid to the caregivers, so the caregivers are hit or miss, and the agencies don't schedule ahead because employees/contractors may get a better job in the interim.

[Goonch]

8. Yeah, seems to be a world wide trend since

the dawn of man ;-{)

[RKP5637]

19. Way way back when sick and one could not care for their self, as I understand at least in tribes,

one wandered off into the woods to find a place to die.

[Aristus]

25. I think that's probably been overstated.

Anthropological evidence shows that pre-historic people, far from being "primitive", cared for their old people, made sure they were fed, comfortable, and protected. The idea that no longer "useful" old people wandered off to die so as not to be a burden to the tribe, is a bid outdated.

[RKP5637]

28. Interesting, thanks for the update!

[cilla4progress]

31. Yeah, I think the idea of "nuclear family"

v. living in extended family groups is one more line of BS promulgated by post-industrial revolution capitalists!

I wish I hadn't bought into it!

In my work in more traditional communities, eg, Indian Reservations, there was far more a norm of multi-generational co-habiting. Also when I worked in poor Black neighborhoods in the inner city.

[debm55]

33. I don;t see why if the child was severely abused by Mother. Let the other two children do it.They live and eat their for

free. But then again they are piss poor enablers and abusers as my mother is.

[yellowdogintexas]

13. my great grandmother expected at least one of her children to

stay unmarried and take care of her.
She literally got down on her knees and begged my grandfather not to marry my grandmother. One of her daughters died in her 40s, and the other one worked for a pittance and remained with her mother until she died at 94.

[canuckledragger]

23. I did it for one relative, and never will again.

Last edited Mon Jan 8, 2024, 07:29 PM - Edit history (1)

My other immature, irresponsible siblings and others couldn't be bothered, waited till someone did and then shit all over me after. I didn't do it for gain, but wound up poorer in all ways after any way...just to have all the showboating lying hypocrites appear at the funeral blubbering about how they (didn't) care.

Of course, I was the one the got the blame for any negative stuff they heard second hand from my exploitative, abusive uncle that had power of attorney over her affairs...not that any of them actually showed up to confirm anything (or help in any way)

That stunt convinced me to cut them out of my life for good, and never be a caregiver again. When my time comes, it'll probably be assisted suicide. I don't need my family of thieves and liars around for that.

[debm55]

26. I agree

[Rebl2]

60. Some people

expect their children to care for them when they are old. I had a friend that expects that. I helped my parents as long as I could, then they agreed to go to a nursing home. It became physically impossible for me to care for them. Now my husband has to do a lot for me at this point in my life.

[getagrip_already]

3. won't the party of life and religion take care of the elderly?

Isn't that in the bible?

Won't they step up and provide social services, food, housing, and basic needs?

[RKP5637]

11. LOL!

[mitch96]

14. As Carlin said, the party of life only cares about the unborn. After that you are on your own...nt

[Peregrine Took]

56. Actually, the Little Sisters of the Poor for people of modest means

Do a wonderful service caring for the elderly.

[bucolic_frolic]

7. Olde Bessie.

That's who.

[50 Shades Of Blue]

9. It's a worry for sure.

[multigraincracker]

10. The only thing worse than not having

children to take care of you when you get old is having kids that won’t take care of you when you get old.

[debm55]

43. That depends on a whole lot of family dynamics.You can't verbally , sexually, physically and emotional abuse a child/

adult and except care and love in old age when you refuse to give it to the child.

[Beatlelvr]

15. I have no idea

And it scares me. Kind of leaning towards Coventina's solution.

[PittBlue]

16. I don't want my kids taking care of me...

Just give me the bourbon and any available pills.

[cilla4progress]

42. We are stockpiling.

I've actually read articles about this going on in over-55 communities around the country. You can google it.

[PittBlue]

48. Thanks.

[TlalocW]

20. I'm just going to

Disappear in the woods. I do want to make sure that my last known photo is something epic if not disturbing.

[OldBaldy1701E]

36. I hear that.

I just hope that it is woods near my home area. Any woods will do I suppose, as being in nature when I pass would be wonderful.

[Scrivener7]

21. I will.

[JoseBalow]

27. I have always depended on the kindness of strangers

[LakeArenal]

35. Hopefully a retirement home like my Dad had.

It was lovely. I have never feared assisted living or nursing homes.

Now…. will the gub’ment actually have places for old folks like me. That’s a different case that I do fear.

[enid602]

40. Dignity

I plan to die in bed with dignity, surrounded by the remains of three rotisserie chickens and an empty box of wine.

[Chainfire]

41. I wouldn't let my kids spend money on me. When I can no longer take care of myself, I will be ready to

go. It will be sooner rather than later and I am fine with it.

[IcyPeas]

44. I have no one. And it frightens me more and more every year.

[sinkingfeeling]

46. I have a single child and a single grandchild. I also have

the financial means to provide for myself until the end. However, I have no desire to linger in a failing body as my mother did.
I promised that I will go back to Antarctica and wander off, lay down with a penguin colony and go to sleep. I've read freezing to death isn't painful.

[Niagara]

47. People like me who care for the elderly.

I'm a non-medical caregiver and it's my job to assist the elderly. Not all Caregiver Companies are the same and not all caregivers are the same.


Things that I don't do that are considered medical is to dispense daily prescriptions or medications and fingernail cutting/trimming. I can remind them to take their daily prescriptions or medicines.


I do light housekeeping such as dusting, sweeping, taking out the trash and laundry. I make sure that my client eats and uses the toilet. If they have an accident, I clean them up. I will do the required physical therapy with them so that they don't feel alone. Besides, it's good for me too.


Currently, I repeat myself frequently every hour since my client has dementia and can't remember that they just asked me the same question over and over. They see people who aren't there and I will try to help them debunk that vision. Recently they had a Christmas wreath on the front door and kept mentioning seeing a man with a mask looking into the front door. The Christmas wreath came down and now there's no more talk of seeing a man looking into the front door.


For me it's not a physically draining job, although it does wear me down mentally. I have people who text me long after I clock out who still talk about work related topics. I literally ignore them as I'm off the clock and I'm not getting paid to think, discuss or worry about work related things. Some people don't understand that I need downtime after a day's work.

[cilla4progress]

49. You are truly an agel on earth!

Thank you for your service!

[Niagara]

50. Thank you, cilla4progress!

It can be a difficult job sometime, but I'm still here for my clients.

[Historic NY]

51. I like the 89.99 dollar a day cruise ship option

https://www.hospitalitynet.org/opinion/4103123.html

[AZSkiffyGeek]

52. My wife and I joke about joining a cult

Group home situation, and when the time comes, the kool-aid is provided.

[AllaN01Bear]

53. no 1.

[samplegirl]

54. I have one daughter

I'm not banking on her. The only time we see her is when she needs something.
Or on our birthdays.
I took my mom in the last 10 yrs. she lived at age 80 she helped with everything. And gave me an allowance which worked out great.
It was hard. No vacations and such but Ihave no regrets at all!
To bad our healthcare in this country is so bad and that the young people today really don't care about anyone past the age of 50.

[nightwing1240]

55. Fuck no I won't off myself

I mean come on people, really? I will fight till my last breath kids or no kids. Why? Because be it pain or otherwise, life is worth living.

[C_U_L8R]

57. We may 'bribe' a niece or nephew

We got no kids but we do have potential inheritance to offer a kind younger relative. Don't know if that will work but, eventually, we're gonna find out.

[MLAA]

59. My niece and nephews are not very responsible. They had a difficult childhood so I refrain from judging.

Also, they live 2000 miles away so our relationship is warm but not close. After much thought I recently asked a young person that I’ve known (and seen twice a week as a trainer for a total of 3 hrs for over 5 years) to be the executor of our will. I’ve said the job comes with a substantial payment. He was honored to agree after consulting his wife. At some point if I become limited in physical activity we’ve agreed that I will continue the sessions even if all we do is talk and he can assess my physical and mental abilities and what care I need to engage or if it’s time for assisted living. So it’s really like I’ve hired a ‘nephew with limited responsibilities’ that I have confidence in and have a strong friendship with.

I, like other responses, plan to research assisted suicide in a place where it is legal. I’m assuming for potential mental disease you have to lay the ground work very early prior to having the disease. But, that is what I need to research.

[Marthe48]

61. I don't want my kids to take care of me

They are willing, but thank you, no. I took care of great aunt, my Gram, my Mom, my husband and others during decline, illness, or recovery. So many people extol the virtues of care-taking, but each time takes a chunk of vitality. I want to either stay home till I die, or go to a nursing home.

[Dem2theMax]

62. I took care of both of my parents for the last 7 years of their lives.

Held their hands as they passed away, five months apart.

I don't have a younger version of me to take care of me, so I'm hoping to go before old age hits. That's not looking really good at the moment, because I'm going to hit 68 sometime this year. If I start having any serious problems, it will be the DIY plan.

After seeing what my parents went through, I have no desire to live to their age. Mid-90s.

[Skittles]

63. newsflash

a lot kids do not want to take on the responsibility and very much resent being expected to do so