Super Bowl Party of One

[orangecrush]

Moved in with GF last September.

I'm in my mid 60s, she is mid 50's.

She has a son in his 30s, with 3 grandsons she adores.

I am retired, she works part time, and often babysits for them on weekends, attends their sports events also on weekends, which has me ending up babysitting 3 dogs, which I really don't mind, I realize she is helping family.

So last night, she watched kids while the son and wife attended a function, was gone for nearly 6 hours.

Then today, she made a bunch of food for the sons Super Bowl party.

Again, I stayed home to watch the dogs.

I feel differently about this. She said her son and wife don't really know me, and she wouldn't want to make them feel uncomfortable.

Normally when she's babysitting, she calls, texts often, which makes me feel good.

Tonight, no text, I texted her once and got a "thumbs up" emoji and nothing else since.

I turned the bowl off, I feel like an idiot watching by myself.

AITA for feeling mistreated?

I might have felt better had I at least been invited. I probably would have declined, as I would have felt uncomfortable.

But at least ask...


This sucks.

[asiliveandbreathe]

1. Stop.....you are not alone....let us help....SF ..PICK SIX..

DU is heah.... ..don't make me fill up your posts...

[orangecrush]

5. Thanks

That helped

[Irish_Dem]

2. If you are not allowed to interact with her family, how are they supposed to get to know you?

And become comfortable?

Your feelings are telling you something is very off here.

It is time to talk about your relationship.

Are you the dog sitter, a roommate, a boyfriend, or a partner?

[orangecrush]

6. Look like

At least two of those

[Irish_Dem]

10. You are quite correct.

Two of those descriptions fit, two do not.

You and this woman are not on the same page.
You both have different views about the relationship.
Time to talk with her about it.

[orangecrush]

15. Yep

?si=FaHnQc-WeACOehJR

[Irish_Dem]

17. There are a number of options.

You can talk with her and find out where you stand.

If she thinks you are her boyfriend, then you need to be more a part of her life.
And not sit home on the holidays and weekends.

We don't know if she is willing to do that, doesn't sound like it at this point, but
you never know.

Or you can accept that you are just a roommate.
Doesn't sound like that is going to work for you.

[orangecrush]

20. Spot on

And correct.

If I need a friend, I'll buy a dog.

[Irish_Dem]

24. Well at least talk to her and see if you can make some progress.

Half of getting what you want is asking for it.
So give it a shot.

You two just have very different ideas about what kind of relationship you have.
Maybe you can hammer out some compromises.
If not, the ball is in your court to make some decisions.

[orangecrush]

25. Thanks

Going to give it time and patience.

We've known each other 30 years, so there's that.

[Irish_Dem]

26. At least if you have to leave, you know you did what you could to make it work.

The key here is communication.

[orangecrush]

29. Thanks

Experience is what makes me patient.

I had a woman in my life once who was beautiful physically, but so volatile and unpredictable that one day she crossed my red line, and I broke it off.

I was never so relieved to be rid of someone.

For about a month.

Then I realized she had brought chaos in to my life, but also got me out of a rut and the danger and excitement weren't there anymore, leaving me lonely and bored shitless again.

Then the haunting started.



Anyway, I'm going to hang in there and keep working on it.

Thanks for the support.

[Irish_Dem]

31. YW

Give it a try for sure. But if becomes toxic you know what to do.

[orangecrush]

32. Good plan

[Irish_Dem]

33. A couple more tips.

Then I will shut up.

When you are talking with her, stay in adult mode.
Stick to how you are feeling and what you want and need.
Stick to "I" messages, don't start "you-ing" her.....
as in "You are a bad partner. " "You leave me alone all weekend."

Say things like: I don't like being alone on holidays and weekends.
I would like to get to know your family better and be included in activities.

If she starts to get angry or defensive you may have to back off...
See if she cools down.

If you get nowhere, you have an answer.

[orangecrush]

34. Sound advice.

Thanks!

[MLAA]

3. I think it's weird that she is having a party with her 30 year old son and didn't invite you because she thought

he/they would be uncomfortable and don’t really know you. That would certainly give me pause, especially because you’ve been living together for 5 months. How the heck are they suppose to get to know you? This is just weird in my book. Hope you work it out, but you are not out of line in your thinking.

[orangecrush]

7. Thanks

[Croney]

4. No, you are not TA. At least you're here, you're not alone.

You might want to let her know that the exclusion hurt your feelings. She might just not have realized.

[orangecrush]

8. Thank you

[calimary]

9. Well, DU is here and happy to have you sit in with US!

I somehow managed to find a partner who doesn’t know any more about football than I do, and cares even less. How did I luck out???

I think if I had to go to a Super Bowl party, I’d be volunteering in the kitchen, on food duty. THAT, I’m interested in!

[orangecrush]

12. Thanks, calimary

She left at half time and is back now.

I'm processing as I type.

[Lefta Dissenter]

11. I'm sorry for your hurt feelings.

You deserve for her to know how this made you feel. It sounds like a conversation is in order.

In the meantime, you’re not alone! You have us! I don’t actually care about football at all, but I’m watching with my dogs, texting and getting occasional grandkid photos from our kids who live on the other side of the globe. Our son is grateful for the Chinese New Year holiday which gives him the day off so he can watch the game!

Hugs to you, and I hope you can get clarification and validation in your relationship.

[orangecrush]

13. Thanks much

Sincerely appreciated

[MotownPgh]

14. Answer

You know the answer to your question. Harder is deciding what to do about your situation. Personally, I'm done with lopsided relationships.

[orangecrush]

16. Agreed

I'm going to give it some time.

Things will get better, or worse.

That will decide.

[sprinkleeninow]

18. I'm heah, my buddy! 🩷

[orangecrush]

22. Thanks!

[Ziggysmom]

19. If I were you, I'd almost feel like she is ashamed of me. Why else not be invited to the party?

Moms of very young kids are hesitant to introduce boyfriends, but the son is in his 30s. WTF?

Good luck working things out. Personally, I'd prefer dogs over most people anyway

[orangecrush]

21. The Weimaraner

Was pressed up against me the whole time.

She's a good dog.

[MLAA]

23. Dogs are good judges of character and you passed her test!

[orangecrush]

30. A Pit/Boxer, Weimaraner, and Rott mix

All three females.

And 2 cats, a male tuxedo and my female Bombay.

♥️

[Ferrets are Cool]

27. Be thankful you have a girlfriend.

One thing I have found over the years. FAMILY has always been more important than I am.

[orangecrush]

28. Thanks

It's not that they are more important that bothers me.

Being excluded does.