Friday Night Vodka Buzz. Ask me anything.

[Aristus]

Two shots to get the party started.

Now, in defiance of a ninety-degree day here in the Pacific Northwest, a Frostbite; tequila, crème de cacao, crème de menthe, and cream. I don’t have any crème de cacao or cream at the moment, so I substituted a couple of slugs of Irish Cream.

Makes for a pretty blue-green, yummy cocktail.

I love you all…

[mercuryblues]

1. Where is my key fob?

[Aristus]

3. Under the couch cushions.

You’re welcome.

[OAITW r.2.0]

2. Can any God create a square circle?

Asking for a friend.

[Aristus]

5. No.

Leonardo da Vinci tried, with his Vitruvian Man illustration. And he was as close to a god as the human race is likely to have. But even he had to fudge it a little. Notice that the square and the circle don’t line up perfectly.

[OAITW r.2.0]

4. What's your bar cost?

Mine is gin Bloody Marys or G & T.s or beer or Cabernet Sauvignon.

[Aristus]

6. I couldn't say.

Except for my single malts, I usually get affordable spirits for my cocktails.

It’s all about getting the right brands.

[teran]

7. Favorite non-human species?

Animal, plant, fungus, microbe...

[Aristus]

14. The gorilla.

When I was a kid, I liked chimpanzees. I thought they were cute. You could dress them as humans and keep them as pets.

I thought.

I didn’t know at the time that chimpanzees are violent, unpredictable, and two-and-a-half times as strong as a human.

I thought gorillas were ugly.

I changed my mind as I grew older. Gorillas are beautiful. I love them, and I hate that they are unfairly maligned. The ‘Planet Of The Apes’ movies portray gorillas as sadistic soldiers, and they’re not. They’re peaceful and comfort-loving.

I love gorillas.

[Thermo]

8. Who?

Who put the RAM in the ramalandadingdong?

[Aristus]

15. Who put the bomp in the bomp-ba-bomp-ba-bomp?

[mobeau69]

9. Haley or Lovelace?

[Aristus]

16. I'm sorry.

Context?

It’s okay. I’m an idiot. Or old. Whichever you prefer.

[ColinC]

10. How many chucks could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

[Aristus]

17. Just one.

Unless there is a specific time period for it.

[surfered]

11. If a train leaves Baltimore at 3Am and travels

55 mph, which bar will still be open upon my arrival in New Orleans?

[House of Roberts]

13. All of them, at least the ones in N.O.

They don't ever close, do they?

[Aristus]

18. You beat me to it!

Well done!

[House of Roberts]

20. I can't drink so I have to have something?

Seemed like a rhetorical question as well.

I once wanted to go to New Orleans, but now I'm afeared of the locals down there.

[Wicked Blue]

12. Why is my lawn full of nutsedge and goosegrass?

[Aristus]

19. Because you're wicked!

Duh!…

[Wicked Blue]

24. (cackles evilly)

[True Dough]

21. Oh boy! Aristus is back in the saddle!

[Aristus]

22. Welcome!

What will you have?

(You know what kind of emoji we need to have? A cocktail-shaking emoji!)

[True Dough]

23. Great idea!

Petition EarlG for that. He has to acquiesce. If it wasn't for your Friday Night Buzz threads, DU would be dead heading into the weekend. You have all the leverage, Aristus!

[Aristus]

25. Mmm! Sangria! After this old tanker's heart!

We tankers loved sangria. Jungle Juice. Whatever you want to call it. We were on board. We could get blindingly blitzed one night, and tear up the gunnery qualification tables the very next day.

“Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth…”

[Bristlecone]

26. What's the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut?

[Aristus]

27. The barber.

I don’t go to Supercuts. Or any other company that thinks that good hair care is something you can franchise.

I go to an old fashioned, striped pole, two-chair barbershop. I have very little hair. But what I have left, I want to look good. My barber does the job.

[Permanut]

28. Elmer's!

[Bristlecone]

30. Your answer is better

“About 2 weeks”

A joke that my father has told me countless times over the course of my life after almost every noticeable haircut I’ve ever had.

“Ya know the difference between a good haircut and a bad one dont’cha?”

As an aside, I have clipped my own hair for years and years - since I was probably 12 or 13 - on a 1 or 2 guard. 1 length all around, pure crew cut.

[Permanut]

29. If a centipede a pint,.

and a millipede a quart,

How much can a precipice?

[Aristus]

32. Before falling off the edge?

Hard to say…

[Martin Eden]

31. What am I wearing?

[Aristus]

33. Oh GOD!

Put something ON!

[Martin Eden]

34. Relax!

I was just putting you on.

[Aristus]

35. ...

[Wolf Frankula]

36. If by your window's an Ivy bunch

then inside you need a jug of punch.

Wolf