Where was the most embarrassing place you farted?
= new reply since forum marked as read
fart????
"Who threw a stinky?" 
Proud of ‘em all.
If so, it MUST be true love!
The massage therapist didn't say a word, but I was mortified! Of course, it's a natural body function, and I was really relxed, so that's kind of a compliment that I didn't even feel it brewing to squeeze it off?
You'd think the professional associations that they belong to would issue gas masks or something.
My farts smell like roses!
During my freshman year of high school, I broke an SBD in a small car full of sophomore girls…
EYESORE making everyone else's NOSE SORE!
blame the family dog too, Jo!
During that procedure. I had two. There is a reason they wear facescreens and rubber aprons
really let it rip during a squat!
I cleared out a classroom at the end of a graduate level chemistry lecture, by ripping off a particularly loud one. No one dawdled in leaving the room!
One of our DU colleagues, NewHendoLib, was a witness and joined the exiting stampede.
My second and present husband has been told he's lucky by other guys.
My first husband used to shop with me and rip one out and then walk away. I was left alone with the fall-out while other shoppers came by. He would peer from a safe distance and laugh. That's how he entertained himself--one of the many ways I felt abused and disrespected by him. 
various kinds of cheese. and was preparing them for the class to sample. They were getting a little loud and I said " calm down , can't you see that I am trying to cut the cheese?" They started laughing and at first I didn't know what they were laughing at. Then it hit me that I said I was cutting the cheese.
but I managed to hold it back.
I was having outpatient surgery in the doctor's office, a gynecologist. He was removing a section of my cervix after a positive PAP and biopsy. Local anesthetic, so I was awake through it all.
So there I was on my back, feet in stirrups, nude from the waist down, and the doc was crouched down, face up close as he he gave the anesthetic shot into the cervical area. I could feel a small intestinal air bubble and thought, "Oh no. I can't fart in his face." So I tightened the muscle, not realizinlg that the simple tightening caused movement. He asked if the shot had pinched. Not willing to admit the real problem, I said, "Just a little."
He said that once he started the procedure, I would have to stay perfectly still because any movement would put his hand off course, removing more tissue than necessary or the wrong tissue. He moved away for about ten minutes to let the anesthetic take hold and I released the small, mercifully silent and odorless air bubble.
The surgery went well. I stayed still, so there was no veering off course. In fact, he told me that healthy tissue would grow back, good as new. So I said that he was a miracle worker, turning me into a virgin again after two marriages. 
You have asked many questions over the years, but this one is a DUzy. You're truly the Barbara Walters of the Democratic Underground.
So many hilarious anecdotes in here. My tale isn't nearly as funny as others'. It would have been in junior high, Grade 9, I believe. Standing at our lockers with a group of friends, talking. It was mid-afternoon and I'd been suffering from gas pains all day. Ready to pop like a balloon. Sure enough, another friend approached from behind and jabbed me in the side. That compressed air expelled like an afterburner!
I turned beet red. Everybody heard it. Didn't want to go back to school the next day because I was so embarrassed.
look forward to them. Love you
Old guy reading the directions on a new fangled deodorant applicator:
"Remove top and push up bottom."
Old guy: "My bottom is still sore, but when I fart the room smell lovely!"
_____________ 
OK, I'll let myself out now.
I've got synesthesia...