Have you ever walked into a store and...

[LiberalEsto]

noticed that the whole store smells of farts?

Seriously.

Big Lots, a super discount store, was having a "20% off your entire purchase" Family & Friends Day. So of course I had to go and pick up various essentials like toothbrushes, pens and a new potholder.

Today was the first really chilly, miserably cold, wet day of autumn, and a lot of people were wearing winter jackets for the first time. The place was crowded - hardly anyone can afford to shop at the mall any more, and more than a third of the mall stores have closed.

But why, oh why, were people evidently tooting their little heads off at Big Lots? Was today National Sauerkraut 'n Baked Beans Day?

I ask you!

[Archae]

1. I walked into a Doctor's office once that smelled like that...

We quickly went to another room in the office.

[AnneD]

2. What, you didn't get the memo....

It was national sauerkraut, baked beans, and asparagus day. Everyone got the day off and like good consumers, we went shopping at big lots to celebrate the holiday.

[LiberalEsto]

13. I see

[elleng]

3. Dunno, LibEst,

woke in Culpeper, VA, after afternoon/evening in/near Richmond, and drove back through countryside to DC suburbs of MD. While there ARE reasons to feel farty in parts of VA, like eric cancer, I'm not aware of any ACTUAL odors!

[Tabasco_Dave]

4. So What!

My bedroom smells like that everyday.

[Downwinder]

5. Usually a sign of a bad sewer vent

[TreasonousBastard]

6. I will tell this story only once...

(unless I feel like telling it again)

I was in a K-Mart in January oh so many years ago, and being January it was emptier than usual.

The heat was on, but the ventilation fans were off, and it was eerily silent in the store when I felt the first rumblings from lunch at the Korean's place. I did my best to quiet the escaping gases to avoid notice, and silent but deadly doesn't begin to describe the greenish-brown cloud that was dissolving the labels on the second shelf.

I heard noises approaching. so quickly scooted to the next aisle and while I was planning further movements I heard a kid's voice yell "God DAMN! What you do?" Then "It wasn't me" and as the argument raged I made my escape.

[LiberalEsto]

8. I wonder if places like Lord & Taylor and Nordstroms

permit this sort of thing to happen.

Or do they have Security whisk the offenders down a hidden stairway and out the door, while sales minions spray $500-an-ounce fragrances to mask the aroma?

[pipi_k]

9. It happens there too...

but the farts come out the customers' asses already smelling like Les Larmes Sacrées de Thebes of Baccarat perfume.

[LiberalEsto]

10. roflmao

[TreasonousBastard]

16. Thst's what the dressing rooms are for.

[HopeHoops]

7. Ever been in a WalMart?

[LiberalEsto]

14. not in recent years

I'm just not up to their fashion standards

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=55731

[HopeHoops]

15. Yeah, me either. But DAMN. If we're talking farts here, THAT'S the place to go - WHEW!

[MiddleFingerMom]

11. What the hell is the MATTER with people?!?! Everywhere I go smells like that! Everywhere!!!

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[LiberalEsto]

12. Maybe you can hire yourself out to rMoney rallies