What do you do when somebody acts condescending to you?

[Kindly Refrain]

For example say somebody named Michael meets somebody at a party. Though they have never met before, the total stranger decides to call him "Mikey" in a clear attempt to assert some sort of dominance. Ever had something similar happen to you? How do you handle the condescending person?

[OriginalGeek]

1. I would ask them to kindly refrain.

[Phentex]

6. This thread is over!

[Xyzse]

2. I generally don't pay it attention

I will act the way I act with everybody no matter what their behavior is to me.
Just because someone is a jerkwad doesn't mean I have to stoop to their level or bring attention to it.

[Raven]

3. Yes. My experience is that those people

are terribly insecure. I avoid them and if that is not possible, I make up an obnoxious nickname for them.

[Redlo Nosrep]

4. Put Them on "Ignore"

Seriously, I would just walk away.

[MiddleFingerMom]

5. Exactly how do you mean, precious?

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I've always felt that those folks who use a person's first name every other sentence or so
are being terribly condescending.
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[hobbit709]

7. Respond in kind.

[HopeHoops]

8. Moon them.

[rrneck]

9. Refer to them as "fuckhead". nt

[Iggo]

10. Same as when someone flips me off: Blow 'em a kiss.

[AngryAmish]

11. This calls for a good ole' porch shitting.

[Quantess]

15. Or pissing on their steps.

[JoeyT]

19. Or if you're already in their house

or have access to it, an upper decker.

[AngryAmish]

32. a classic

[DryHump]

12. Kill them with kindness

...it knocks them completely out of their game

[geardaddy]

13. I turn my back and walk away

but not before laying down a serious brown-green air egg.

[Nye Bevan]

14. A groin kick, followed by an uppercut to the chin (nt)

[Ikonoklast]

16. I don't know, that's never happened to me.

But if it did, I'd politely ask them to please stop, at the same time as I was giving them a noogie.

[HeiressofBickworth]

17. This happens to women all the time

Women are called by their first names by bank tellers, store clerks, dentists, doctors, well, you name it. Men are called Mr. by this same set of people. And when women request the same degree of respect shown to men, we are somehow bitches.

[Maine-ah]

33. happens to me all the time

but I'm a waitress and bartender....

I don't deserve the respect...not like it's a real job.....

[zen_bohemian]

18. Being an old southern girl, I would just smile sweetly to the condenscending one and say

"well, bless your heart" and walk off. If you are a southern girl, you may more than likely know that is code for "well, aren't you just the idiot?!"

[hay rick]

20. Preface your comeback with "What did you say your name was again?"

As soon as he offers his name, immediately screw it up. And if you are HopeHoops, then you can moon him.

[Shankapotomus]

21. Okay now I feel insulted

My name is Michael and people have done that to me!

[Generic Brad]

22. I just sling it right back

Two can play that game and it clearly let's the other person know you are not some pushover.

[UTUSN]

23. I thought you meant here on DU

Like when somebody is always "so above" it all and has lifetime cred here and always has a negative judgment ... no, nevermind...

[kelliekat44]

24. Ignore them. If you answer to that name in any way, the other person wins.

You know, look right past them like you just saw an old friend.

[riderinthestorm]

25. Welcome to DU! and this is exactly what I do. I have condescending clients I deal with all day

I have a few tricks I use when they pull that bullshit.

1. Rapidly walk towards one of my Mexican employees and begin conversing with them in Spanish, like its urgent. Since none of my clients speak Spanish they don't know if it really IS an emergency OR if they are being snubbed.

2. Pull my phone out, interrupt the conversation with condescending be-yotch by telling them I have it on vibrate and someone's calling me, and then walk away immersed in a convo with imaginary MORE important caller.

3. Begin working on a task. Doesn't matter what it is, I become "distracted" by that task and answer in monosyllabic, disinterested tones. I've even been known to begin cleaning the community toilet if the person is really annoying. Nothing like trying to be a condescending jerk while the person you're conversing with is scrubbing a toilet! Virtually all of them walk away in disgust by that point.


If I'm in a social situation, I resort to technique #2. It does take a certain chutzpah since you have to be able to pull off an imaginary convo but if the person is really that rude, then I have absolutely no reservations about being similarly rude and leaving the area.

[Populist_Prole]

26. I'm informal by nature, but "Mikey" does sound designed to tweak where "Mike" is just fine IMO

Maybe it's just me or where I'm from, but I've always thought that, for example, Micheal, Edward, Thomas, Lawrence, William and Walter, rather than Mike, Ed, Tom, Larry, Bill or Will, and Walt sounds so stilted and officious. The latter versions shows friendliness without being diminutive and addressing a 6 year old. ( Mikey, Eddy, Tommy for example )

In general if someone is condescending toward me I respond with droll viciousness: Just enough to make my point but not where other observers could sense hostility. Left handed compliments and so forth.

[raccoon]

29. Can you give us some examples of your droll viciousness? nt

[Populist_Prole]

35. Well let's see.

A while back this one guy at work. Real holier than thou type from southern California and is always talking about his degrees from evangelical colleges. Speaks in an overly "wordy" way. Tries to proselytize people but knows I'm a lost cause and is dismayed about it. Once told me I'm "remarkably articulate" for a mechanic from New York, but I could tell my decidedly non-WASP ethnic underpinnings figured in to his "compliment" . I said, "thanks" and then said he demonstrates remarkable depth of thought for someone who majored in theology, let alone a native of L.A...then chuckled and gently nudged him with the back of my hand.

That was the most brutal example, and I knew I wash pushing it, but then again that was the most condescended to I've ever felt.

[Chan790]

27. Micturate upon their clogs. n/t

[HughBeaumont]

28. I find gasoline and a match works quite well.

[Robyn66]

30. I usually make a wise ass comment, laugh at them and walk away

it really pisses them off.

[pipi_k]

31. Lots of amusing

replies here, and some I'm assuming are mostly tongue-in-cheek

I'm wondering, though...

instead of being passive-aggressive, what's wrong with being direct?

If it's the first time the person has done it, politely say, "Please...call me Mike (or whatever)".

I've never had that problem myself. I usually introduce myself with a shortened version of my first name, but people often insist on using the whole, formal version.

I've also been called by completely wrong names, like when a friend of my second husband used to always call me "Sally" (which is not my name). Probably because I sort of resembled Sally Struthers back in the 1970s, which was when I knew the guy.

[sharp_stick]

34. Please don't call me Mikey

usually shuts them up pretty quick.

If that doesn't do it I'd go with the porch shitting or a beat down with a tire iron a'la Christopher Walken in SNL on Pranksters

[LynneSin]

36. Well duh! What do you think anyone does

[Lex]

37. Usually I just feel sorry for them because I know they feel unimportant and tiny on the inside

and I wonder what happened to them to make them feel that way.