Asked my Trump supporter abusive father hundreds of times over the past twenty years

[LiberalLoner]

This discussion thread was locked as off-topic by Emile (a host of the The DU Lounge forum).

Not to send me right wing political stuff. Made it clear how much it upset me and that I just wanted a regular father-daughter relationship with him.

He was so abusive while I was undergoing treatment for cancer, I went no contact with him for a year or so.

When he was diagnosed with inoperable cancer, I tried to be the good daughter again, and gave him tons of support.

He started right back up with rightwing BS, mostly gloating about Trump’s win, and when I politely wrote I would not read or viewing anything political he sent me, his reply was this:

It is my wish that you never contact me again. You seem to think you can turn love off and on depending on you r mood. Everything is all about you! You seem to think your stupid politics are more important than your family. After all I have done for you ,you stab me in the back. Good bye forever!
Sent from my iPad


My husband’s response:

Hi Honey,



I’m sorry he is such an ass. Not a surprise thought.



Love you lots!

xoxooxo

[wryter2000]

1. So be it!

You are better off without him.

[LiberalLoner]

4. Thank you so much! There was massive sexual, physical and emotional abuse from him while

I was growing up that he never apologized for.

He has been arrested for domestic abuse, and should have been arrested hundreds more times.

All the stepchildren and ex wives he has had, hate his guts.

So, I’m not the only one to have problems with him.

Oh and he was abusive to our animals too. He once superglued the Yorkie’s lips together for chewing the wallpaper out of distress and hunger after being locked up for a couple of days with no food and water.

Stuff like that.

[hlthe2b]

2. I'm sorry. Whether you want to feel anything or not, I know you undoubtedly do feel pain about this...

I guess the silver lining--if there is one--is that you don't have to be the one to put on the brakes on this relationship and you know that you did what you could to help him when he really needed it. It is all on him now, I think.

I'm sorry though.

[LiberalLoner]

5. Thank you so much! Tbh I'm mostly relieved to know I don't have to have anything more to do with him.

I don’t need to attend his funeral, etc. I am free.

[erronis]

21. It takes some time to erase the bad memories. But you are right - you can be rid of him.

I do think sharing your feelings with others helps give some foundation to your own feelings and helps put that past into a distant perspective.

Difficult with families for sure!

[calimary]

31. And you can always vent here, LiberalLoner.

I always learn something beneficial from other DUers’ posts, and greater understanding.

You can always unburden here. You’ll always find support, open ears, open minds, and sympathetic hearts.

[Basso8vb]

3. That really really sucks and it's not on you at all.

[LiberalLoner]

6. Thank you so so much.

[Aristus]

7. Some people need to get past the idea that a family connection of any kind, however caustic or corrosive,

is more important than spending time with people, however related or unrelated, who value you and love you no matter what.


Your father sounds like an asshole. If he finds that offensive, tell him that I just 'tell it like it is'. (I know Trumpsters really like that).


This must be painful for you; I hope you will find comfort in your friends.

[Permanut]

9. This ⬆️ times 1,000!

[LiberalLoner]

10. Thank you so so much. Yes, my beloved friends are being so wonderful to me. Some of them also come from abuse.

[Leghorn21]

8. Hey LL, wonder if your pa has anything to say about the latest news on his beloved electeds?

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100219937245

Speaking of ABUSIVE
HAVE MERCY

Hang tough/rock steady, LL

[LiberalLoner]

11. Thank you so so so much! Oh I would never send him anything political, it was always one way, I was not allowed ever

To have my own opinions about anything, I was supposed to just obey him.

He’s very much like Trump, actually.

P.S. oh he’s a rapist and wife beater himself so he admires others who do that.

[ProfessorGAC]

12. You Tried

No more could be asked of you.
Sometimes familial ties are nothing but accidents of birth.
I'm sure we all have family members we never would have chosen as friends.
You worry about you from now on.

[LiberalLoner]

13. Thank you so much! I have had such a wonderful life ever since I escaped my family, to be honest.

[ProfessorGAC]

16. You Are Proof Of My Point!

Glad to hear that.
My wife became happier & more relaxed after her dad was gone.
She had the catholic guilt thing over taking care of him, but he was a demanding tool.
Her favorite part of his visits were me telling him what he couldn't say in our house.
When seeing him corrected is her favorite part, you know it was not a healthy reciprocal relationship.

[LiberalLoner]

17. Thank you! And thank you for protecting your loved ones and standing up to abuse!

[erronis]

23. You are absolutely correct. Sometimes it is parents and sometimes children or siblings.

Some random sperm meets egg and there is a new being - for better and for worse.

If it's not too "worse" we can try and live with it, but otherwise avoid it as possible.

[ProfessorGAC]

25. Same Page

Obviously, since you're agreeing with my post.
I am fortunate in that I have a cousin who grew up in our house (my brousin) who I would have picked for a friend.
Know what? We're still friends. Bloodlines have nothing to do with it.

[debm55]

14. Been there . Yes are free. You are strong. you are not alone. you are loved.

[LiberalLoner]

15. Thank you so very much. That means everything to me and I am so grateful for your support and the support of DU. ❤️❤️❤️

[Proud to be Woke]

18. I am sorry..

I am sorry. I have been through the emotional wringer myself over the past 6 years dealing with an increasingly mentally ill sibling (one of two, the other is mentally normal). She was really emotionally abusive when I was a child and young adult; never apologized; got better after our father became ill and needed care, and later, after he died, she was much nicer and quite generous; she stayed on a more or less even keel for many years until she retired. She is a narcissist from what I can conclude. I think when she retired, she lost a lot of supply and then the COVID 19 isolation times when she seldom left the house out of fear of catching it (she didn't), meant she did not take part in many volunteer activities anymore. The last two years were unbearably abusive toward me and then she wanted to move in with me and I had to decline since her requirements were that I get rid of my spouse. Same if I moved in with her.

She really needed to go to an assisted living facility. Miffed at me, she stopped speaking to me and moved in with a friend until a good facility had an opening. Praise the Lord they did, and she has been in it ever since. She is much healthier now and does speak to me. I feel for you. Keep your friends close; they will definitely help you in this time.

[erronis]

24. That's a rough story. I'm not religious but sometimes "Praise the Lord" is a good operative phrase!

Glad it got sorted out, eventually.

[Sucha NastyWoman]

19. Ditch the SOB

I have recently broken off any relationship with my family because I decided I am never going to take that kind of abuse from anyone again, not even family

[OldBaldy1701E]

20. I am really sorry you had to go through that, LL.

I am also wondering how long that will last, given the circumstances.

[Skittles]

22. you did the right thing

you shouldn't put up with such abuse from ANYONE - no indeed

your husband sounds like my kind of guy!

[LoisB]

26. It sounds to me as if his "stupid politics" are more important to him than his family. We

should endeavor to avoid toxic people; even those we want to love and be loved by. Your husband is a gem.

[Buddyzbuddy]

27. I'm sorry for your suffering. First from your father and

then from cancer treatments. Only you can decide when to stop trying with him but I for one, think you've been too patient. That man seems to be pure evil, I know the type. Please leave him to rot in his own misery. Free yourself guilt free. I've been in similar circumstances. It was hard and I mourned for years the loss of somebody that still lives. But, life is better and the emotional weight has been lifted and feels freeing.
Be well, Liberal Loner.

[KPN]

28. That's a tough one. Sorry that you had to do that,

but understandable. I have a wonderful, beautiful niece who had to do the same thing with her father/my brother. He had just become too toxic for her. She did that almost 2 years ago now and is much happier since.

[Hope22]

29. Boundaries are beautiful!

You got this. I’m so sorry for your pain and understand trying your hardest. With these kind of people it is lose lose. You did your best. Hugs and love to you!💗💗🙏🏼💐

[Ocelot II]

30. You can't choose your family, and sometimes family members are assholes.

I'm sorry your dad is an asshole, but that was his choice to be one. It must be hard for you but you're better off without him - he sounds like a mean, damaged person. We can choose our friends, though, and sometimes friends are much better than family - shared DNA doesn't have to mean a damn thing.

[Emile]

32. After an alert and discussion with the hosts, locking.

NO politics in the Lounge.

Statement of Purpose for the Lounge

Our social forum. Relax with your friends and talk about off-topic stuff. The Lounge is supposed to be a friendly, welcoming place for everyone. No cliquish behavior. No drama. No political arguments. No whining about DU.

Feel free reposting this in General Discussion