You know, I hate funerals...

[Archae]

I'm going to one this afternoon, to be with my Mom.

But it's an aunt I barely knew, really.

Going to be lots of my Mom's relatives there, most of whom I haven't seen in years, or even decades.

I think we make too big a deal out of death ceremonies.
The funeral industry (one of the most corrupt ones in this country) loves taking our money for stuff we bury in the ground.

Heck. Even cremation is a racket.

[coldwaterintheface]

1. For about 6 months I worked doing funerals between real paying jobs.

Paid better then UI and had flexible hours.
I actually had a lot of fun at the job most in the biz are funny twisted people.
You will see them standing there looking solemn and maybe quietly talking to themselves but they are really cracking jokes and taking about the hot women.
Lots of money in the dead.
Just dig a hole toss, me in cover me with lime and dirt. Cheap, and easy.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

2. I usually put a cooler of beer in the trunk

just in case a spontaneous wake breaks out. It happens.

[blueamy66]

3. I hate them too.

And then there is the "party" afterward, where everyone drinks and eats and, well, parties.

But, the one cool thing that happened after my Dad's funeral was that my guy bought a box of my Dad's fave cheapo cigars and everyone sat outside and lit one up......even my Dad's pre-teen granddaughers. I cried.

I am going to a funeral this Friday, for a very old friend's father. The family has $. I am curious to see how they handle this funeral. But I should be there, no matter what.

It was good that you went. I'm sure your Mom was happy for the company.

[riderinthestorm]

5. My FIL was an electrician who moonlighted as a bartender. Happy Hour was a sacred thing for him.

So my husband delivered the eulogy and had a cooler of Geneseo beer. During his speech he invited anyone to grab a beer and sit back and reminisce. At the end, he raised a toast to Ray and everyone both laughed and cried.

There weren't any beers left in the cooler by the end of the service so the party got started sooner than later. Just the way Ray would have wanted it.

I think funerals should involve some level of alcohol. I never used to believe that but as I get older I'm beginning to believe it more and more.

Buck up and hope its not too excruciating.

[blueamy66]

11. what a freaking coincidence.....

we drank Geneseo beer at my Grandpa's funeral. I drink it every now and then.....LaBatt's as well. I used to steal it from my Grandpa's fridge and still have one of his cans in my office (full).

And I have an Uncle Ray, a cousin Raymie and a second cousin named Ray (he's only 8).

Your post hits home....in a good way Thanks!

[riderinthestorm]

13. Your grandpa must be from upstate New York. My husband's family's from the Canadice area

(Livonia specifically) He drank "Genny" as a kid, now he drinks LaBatts!

[blueamy66]

15. Depew NY

[NV Whino]

4. I don't do funerals

I'm not even going to my own.

[antiquie]

6. You miss the best parties.

Waking the dead can be good for everyone.

[NV Whino]

10. Didn't say I don't do parties

[Curmudgeoness]

16. Well, you have never been to funerals in my family.

There ain't no party....just a solemn sitting around in someones house and eating ham sandwiches and jello salad.

[antiquie]

17. Sounds like new traditions

might be in order

[Curmudgeoness]

18. I wish. The old fogey Bible Belt Presbyterians

will never allow it. I suppose we did start a new tradition. When my dad passed away, my mom had no funeral. When my mom passed away, we had no funeral. When my sisters and I pass away, there will be no funeral. But don't think that this did not come at a cost with family and friends.

[antiquie]

20. That is actually a good start.

Without the traditional funeral, you are free to start a wake tradition. Among our family and friends, the essentials are wine, beer and good food. Story telling begins. People come and go, bringing more tales, food and liquor. Everyone laughs and cries and it really helps with closure, especially if you've had to do the cemetery thing, which can be a downer.

I admit, now that it is my generation dying, and with cousins spread across the globe, some wakes are just a handful of friends, but the sentiments and effects remain the same.

[madmom]

7. I agree with the money-racket thing. I told my family that I

do not want a funeral. Don't waist that money, because I won't know it. If they have to do something, cremate me and have a party celebrating my life not mourning my death.

[HopeHoops]

8. The only one who doesn't mind being there is the corpse - it's already dead.

What I hate is when someone gives a glowing speech about the deceased and you know damn well the speaker hated his/her fucking guts. It makes me angry. One of my aunts did that with a cousin of mine (remarry situation, she was his step mom). Everyone knew damn well that she hated him, but she still had the nerve to get up and pretend he was her favorite person in the world. I almost puked.

[Archae]

9. Someday I'd love to go to a Viking funeral.

PAR-TEE!

Then set a boat with the "dearly departed" on fire.

[hedgehog]

12. I think funeral customs are in the blood -

My husband's family is German, my family is Irish. My MIL passed recently. I was in another city and one kid was away at college. My husband went home with his dad and brothers. The kids who were in town ended up at my dad's place, drinking beer and telling stories. (well, one kid was drinking root beer, but still!)

[nolabear]

14. I'd love a jazz funeral. Great music, lots of dancing, lots of emotion and love of life.

Mostly I'd want honesty and lack of restraint. When my father died the minister, who didn't know the poor man from Adam, actually congratulated the family on our lack of display. I thought it was sad, just barren. I'd like a big old party and my ashes scattered in the Mighty Mississip.

[HeiressofBickworth]

19. The most surreal funeral I've ever been to was my father's

It had been over 20 years after my parents divorce and I hadn't seen him in all that time. There was one brief phone call which in itself is another story. Suffice it to say, I had not been in touch with him for a long time. I noticed the funeral announcement in the paper so I went. I knew he had remarried but what I didn't know (until the funeral) was that he had invented an entirely different life history. I knew there would be no mention of my brother, sister or me, but I was shocked that his entire HISTORY had been re-written. Military experience he never had, a job he never had, claimed to be a pilot!!! which he never was. After the ceremony, I spoke with the minister of the church. Not wishing to talk directly with the Grieving Widow, I asked the minister to convey the condolences of his first family. The minister looked at me like I just dropped in from Venus. She said she never knew he had a first family. She even asked me if I was sure I was at the right funeral. I told her that his name, birth date, birth place, parent's names and his sister's name, his wife's name and that he worked at Boeing were all consistent with my father's information. I was indeed at the right funeral. She had been told that he and the Grieving Widow were married in 1942. I told her, no, that was the year he married MY mother. I told her that he and the Widow were married in 1969 after he and my mother divorced. So, it appeared that TOGETHER he and the Widow concocted a lovely story for the minister that had no basis in truth. I was never able to determine if she passed her children of her previous marriage off as his. I left chuckling to myself at how odd this all was and how utterly unnecessary it was to lie -- I could never figure out the benefit of the lies.