Do you think this is just trashy?

[Maraya1969]

I took my first vacation in several years to Atlantis in the Bahamas last Sunday to Thursday. I called my "friend", (who is a drug addict, (pills) and who smokes 2 packs of Marlboro a day....only said because he is on disability and spends all his money on these 2 things), and offered him $50 each way to drive me the 2 hour drive to Ft. Lauderdale and I would give him the use of my car while I was away. I thought that was a good deal because my car is a Camry which gets good gas mileage and his is a big old truck which gets shitty gas mileage. So I was going to give him a total of $100 for 4 hours driving and the use of a good car for 4 days.

He was all happy about it. So he picks me up and he is happy to see me and tells me he has this new AA sponsee, (I know, he doesn't drink but he's high on drugs but he thinks he's whateverthehell). Anyway, he tells me he took this guy to meetings all over town with the car and to church and everything and then he hands me a gas receipt for $40 and wants me to pay for it! Bloody Hell!

I had filled up the car with gas right before we left. It would take less than 2/3'd of a tank to go across the state twice with my car and this shitforbrains wants me to pay his $40 gas ticket for running all over town!

So I said "NO" and he started speeding and got lost and I started getting scared of the way he was driving so I gave him $10 and put the GPS on to get us back on track but he is still mad at me.

I am the idiot who never learns with this guy or with his roommate. They used to beg me for money all the time and I would give in and they would pay me back but then 3 days later they would borrow again. So I finally told them that I told my doctor what they were doing and that he told me never to lend them money anymore so they quit that.

Dealing with addicts is crazy making. I'm still pissed. And I know that they are sick and don't see reality and quite frankly as I am writing this I realize how fucking crazy I am for still being friends with them and for letting this guy drive me, (although it was in the morning and he is not high in the mornings or every day, he is a binge pill shooter). But still he could have been on a binge and I put my life in his hands all because I was afraid to drive myself across the state. I was in panic mode right before I was to leave on vacation. I'm afraid to fly and I'm afraid to drive anywhere over in the Miami area.

Thanks for letting me rant. I know I'm nuts. I had the most wonderful time on vacation though. I met my cousin there. She came in from Ohio. We snorkeled with huge Manta Rays and got an upgrade because our room's air conditioner was broken so we ended up being able to look out our VILLA into a lagoon with Sing Rays lazily swimming around. I ate lobster for the first time in years and it was the biggest lobster tail I have ever seen and it was grilled and I could eat 3 more right now.

I feel much better. Thanks!

[Scuba]

1. You lent your car to a drug addict?

[Maraya1969]

6. I'm realizing just how crazy the whole thing was now. It's hard when you have been so close

to it for years. He has been my neighbor for 16 years and he has been up and down with the clean and sober - ness. He does well for awhile and then he screws up. Now he has been doing really bad for what seems to be a longer time than any time in the past.

I was in AA for many years, (haven't drank since 1978) and once this girl needed a place to stay so I said she could stay here for a few days. She wanted to go to a meeting and I told her she could use my car. Well she took it and went on a crack run. I called the police at around 1am and told them she stole the car and I almost got myself arrested because I lied and told them I didn't give her permission to take the car and then when I found out they found her and they were going to throw her in jail I told them the truth.

That is one of the reasons I don't go to AA anymore. I do NOT want to diss AA to anyone. It is a great program and it helped me a lot for many years. But after a point you've got to stop rowing and get off on the other side of the ocean so to speak. I needed to get away from people who were so sick because I just did not manage well with them anymore. And that is not to say that everyone in AA is that sick either but there are a lot of new people and, well it is just not for me anymore. If anything I need Alanon again to deal with those 2 knuckleheads around the corner from me.

[Scuba]

10. Often wise, to stop, step back and examine things in a thoughtful manner. I know how easy it can ..

... be to get caught up in things.

Good luck and congrats on being sober for 34 years!!!

[pscot]

2. The magic word is "No"

Don't argue. Don't explain. Just say no. It's very powerful.

[alarimer]

3. I don't care if he's an addict; drop him from your life like a hot potato.

Addiction is no excuse for lowlife behavior. It just isn't, especially since they appear not to want to change at all.

You've done more than enough. Don't put your life or safety on the line ever again.

Cut off all contact. Change your number, move, whatever it takes.

[Maraya1969]

7. You know that part about not wanting to change? I see him saying he wants to change but doing

the same things over and over and ending up in the same mess. If anything they are both a good bad example for me of something I never ever want to be like. I know deep down they are both good hearted. They are just addicts and they first love, desire, need is their drug. They have to have it.

That being said over the years they have helped me a lot. I live by myself and as a women alone I feel a little bit safer knowing that 2 guys are right around the corner if I ever need help. And when I have ever really needed them they have come through. Maybe the timing has been right so far and I haven't needed help when they were plastered or they take turns being plastered. I'm not close to most of my neighbors. Pretty much everyone on my block has moved away except them and there are new people. That is not to say I can't make new friends and its also not to say that I haven't tried but it is hard. When I first moved in this neighborhood people came over and introduced themselves to me. I try to do the same but people are kind of stand-offish. I don't know why.

And they also were not the first people I asked to drive me either. I waited until the last minute and until I was in a panic and I suffered the consequences. Up until that day I had planned on driving myself over and keeping my car at the airport.

[raccoon]

12. One reason they might be standoffish; I've experienced the same thing myself, and I think

some people don't want to get to know their neighbors because they think you'll be asking them for favors.

If this guy had had an accident in your car, and someone had sued your insurance company, I shudder to think....

[TwilightGardener]

4. Why are you friends with losers who are taking advantage

of you? Why would you give YOUR CAR to someone who is frequently incapacitated? Do you want him to wreck it, kill himself or others while he is driving? Why would you get into the car with him yourself? Surely you being SOBER and non-addled would be a safer driver than he is--why trust an addict to drive you more than you trust yourself?

[Quantess]

5. It's nothing personal with drug addicts.

It's like they can't help it, they will try to leverage money out of you or steal money out of your purse, or whatever, even if they genuinely like you as a person and value your friendship / relationship. You just cannot trust a drug addict.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

8. classic co-dependent behavior. get thee some couseling and get away from Dopes.

[nolabear]

9. As a wise man once said, addicts don't have friends. Addicts take hostages.

Until your friend is able to change his life I'd advise self protection. Yes there's an illness, but you can't cure it. You can only be its hostage.

[MrsBrady]

11. find a different ride

imho

[The Magistrate]

13. Lose The Phone Number, Ma'am

You will gain some peace of mind; a good exchange....